You Won’t Find Many Nuns Having This Much Fun!

When you think of the most memorable nuns, you might think of the wonderful characters portrayed by Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act or Sally Field as the Flying Nun. I have exciting news for you. Now it’s time to make room for another lovable and entertaining nun character with plenty of laughs along the way.

In my first novel, "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", Have A Heart convent has one unforgettable nun by the name of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude. Her unique views of spirituality and her genuine love of life and the residents of her small town of Bucksnort has some scratching their heads.

“To each their own” is one of Sister Mary Olga’s favorite sayings. She loves her bourbon that is secretly stashed in her crucifix and she also takes a quick break whenever she can to spark up a Marlboro cigarette.

T.L.I.A.M.G, my dears! Translated that means that The Lord Is A Mighty God. Sister Mary Olga may not always see eye to eye with authority figures, but her heart is in the right place. She spends much of her time teaching children the “golden rule” of important lessons in her Advanced Holiness class.

Sister Mary Olga has firsthand knowledge of the town’s secrets and brings the story directly to you. She wouldn’t have it any other way. You couldn’t ask for a better host in matters of the importance of tolerance and refraining from judgment. In fact, Sister Mary Olga confesses for her own shortcomings of gossip, booze, and her oh so wonderful cigarettes.

Sister Mary Olga transcends the wit and charm that will warm your heart through her trials and tribulations. She is joined by the Reverend Mother who used to be a prostitute, a gay convent chef, and Father Cowberries who never turns down a friendly chat with maybe a drink or two.


Find out what happens to the folks of Bucksnort through Sister Mary Olga’s eyes and pick up a copy of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1 of a series) and then pickup a copy of "Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2 of a series). Both are available in Paperback Format $13.95 and in Kindle Format for $3.99 at Amazon.com.

Have you laughed yet today?

Author Davis Aujurd'hui

Mirror Mirror on the Wall… Who is the Funniest One of All?

Stop and look at yourself in the mirror for one entire minute. What do you see?

Does how you look depend on how you feel on any particular day? Some days do you feel better than others? Do you look different when you’ve had a great laugh? Are your cheeks rosy, eyes watering, and there seems to be more of a twinkle in your eye?

Get ready because you’re guaranteed to laugh, chuckle, giggle, and even snort once or twice when you read Babes in Bucksnort, the second installment of the humorous satire Sister Mary Olga Series. It’s hard to believe, but there are just as many laughs and maybe a few more chuckles in the town of Bucksnort with all of the unforgettable, zany characters.

Well… Sister Mary Olga definitely has her hands full with the newest adventure in Bucksnort. She’s back with the Almighty on her side and taking names in the process. It seems that some of Bucksnorts more nasty and nosey types, namely the Bunhead Clan, have decided that there are undesirables in town. There has been some hurtful name calling, like perverts and gay menace. The lines are drawn and residents have been forced to choose their side and their battle for that matter.

If you’ve stopped and really looked at yourself in the mirror, you’ll realize that we are ALL different and unique in so many wonderful ways. Sister Mary Olga reminds all of us that before we start pointing fingers, we must take a good look at ourselves first. That’s what makes the world a very interesting place, even in Bucksnort.

Take a break this summer and pick up a copy of Babes in Bucksnort and get some of that twinkle back in your eye. Better yet, pick up "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and see where it all begins.

After you finish "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitute", keep on laughing with the second book of the Sister Mary Olga Series "Babes in Bucksnort".

Both are available in Paperback for $13.95 at amazon.com and also available in Kindle Format for $3.99

MEET DIMPLES DUFUS AND HER NOT SO DARLING DIMPLES II

Dimples Mayflower Dufus had just celebrated her forty-fifth birthday. It hadn’t turned out to be exactly the kind of celebration that she had been expecting. She had arrived home early on the night of the surprise party which she’d demanded for herself. As a matter of fact, she had actually ended up getting herself a surprise. She had found her husband, Rufus, diddling a purple-headed dingbat on the side of their Olympic-sized swimming poo

The very next day she had filed for a divorce from Rufus Dufus. Then she had prepared for a long battle because she had intended to get every nickel of Rufus’ inheritance. That’s when she had found out what Rufus had been doing with their money whenever he’d gone away on a “business trip.” He’d been wining and dining ladies of the night and he’d been spending his own family’s fortune at the roulette tables.

When it had come out that Rufus had even mortgaged away their villa, Dimples had decided to go home to the mother whom she hadn’t seen in fifteen years in order to claim her rightful inheritance. That’s when she had ditched her married name of Dufus and had packed up the only things that she’d had left. That would have been her extensive jewelry collection and a wardrobe that could have filled a modest home. Then, along with her darling Dimples II, she had headed back home to Bucksnort.

Dimples had been a beautiful little blond-haired baby. Her towhead had changed to dark brown by the time she had turned nineteen and had married for the first time. Ever since those days, she’d had her
hairdresser make a weekly trip to touch up her three-color-process dye job at whatever mansion or villa in which she’d resided .

She'd had her boobs enlarged when she’d been twenty-five. That had helped her snag husband number two, the father of Dimples II. Having been a sun goddess to the extreme, she’d had her first face-lift done at the age of thirty-eight to get rid of her sun crinkles. By that time she’d also needed liposuction to get rid of all the pounds of fat she’d put on.

At least she’d had years of gourmet meals and fine wines to thank for that. Of course, she’d also managed to keep her full service bar restocked on a weekly basis. She’d been even thirstier than I! Unfortunately for Dimples, she hadn’t been thirsty for God. She had only been thirsty for whatever God could have done for her.

Dimples had given herself an early forty-fifth birthday present. That had been another face-lift. Unfortunately for Dimples, Dr. Peter Pimplehead had decided to get a little revenge on the beauties who had spurned him in his past. The delicate and darling Dimples was going to become his scapegoat.

When the bandages had been removed from Dimples’ previously perfect face, she had let out a shriek. Dr. Pimplehead had pulled her skin tighter than that of Joan Rivers.

There wasn’t a thing that could be done. There had been no skin left that could have been used to loosen her perpetual look of amazement. Perhaps, after she’d looked at herself in the mirror many times, she would have found other things to be amazed about. How about God, darling Dimples?

One thing was true about Dimples. She was a delicate-looking creature. It’s just that, in her case, her behavior was more like a “creature” than it was like “delicate.” Unlike her mother, Dimples II hadn’t been as blessed in the beauty department. Her broad and upswept cheekbones cast a downward slant on her wide-set eyes. That little girl also had an extremely large mouth in more ways than one, I can assure you!

Her hair was a wiry, mousy-brown, just like that of her Great Aunt Martha when she had been a young girl. She also seemed to inherit Aunt Martha’s gene for short and stout. Nevertheless her mother, Dimples, believed that her daughter was a beauty. Granted, Dimples II wouldn’t be winning the little girl beauty pageants in which her mother had captured many a crown.

There was one thing that this mother and daughter had in common. They were both a couple of spoiled princesses. It’s just that, for Dimples II, her unfortunate looks only served to become a chip upon her shoulder. It was also a chip that would soon become the same size as the chip on the shoulder of her Great Aunt Martha.

As I was saying, little Dimples II wasn’t so little anymore. She had just turned fourteen and she carried more than ten times that much weight on her broad five-foot frame. God had blessed her in one department; she had a chest that would be likely to give her back problems by the time she would become twenty-five. Given her short stature, her chest appeared even more mammoth. That “little” girl had already discovered how to use that to her advantage. I’m certain we’ll hear more about that once she discovers the budding adolescent boys of Bucksnort!

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui
 
Book Series"
Book #1 "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"
Book #2 "Babes in Bucksnort"

Both are available in Kindle Format for $3.99

What’s in a Name?

Names are tremendously important and they can actually drive our imaginations as we plot a course through our daily lives. It’s a way we make a connection with people, places, and things. Different names mean different things to different people. Many wonderful images come to mind with the words hot fudge sundae, Hawaiian Islands, and freshly baked bread. Just as some unsettling images come to mind with the words dentist, taxes, and death.

The definition of “name” simply means a word or words by which an entity is designated and distinguished from others. Names that identify people are a way that we separate one person from another. From a name, we can then create nicknames or pet names. Names are much more powerful than we realize and the beautiful part of it is that everyone has one.

For example, according to the new Urban Dictionary, the name “Robert” means the most incredible guy in the universe, end of story. He's sweet, caring, and truly amazing. “Tiffanys” are usually very loyal and intelligent people who usually don’t trust many guys. These definitions may sound a bit silly and contrived, but it still helps us to imagine what a “Bob” or a “Tiffany” looks like and how we independently interpret these types of names in our mind's eye.

I’ve decided to put a comical twist on the character names when I created the spunky little town of Bucksnort. If a name can help conjure up an image of a person, then the residents of Bucksnort have won several gold medals in the category of madcap character names. Every time you read some of the character names laughter will billow up from your belly from my new novel The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.
What does your active imagination invoke with the names of Priscilla Bunhead, Lucy Lovely, and Ms. Lula Mae Bunsaplenty? Oh my! Not to mention, more hilarious townies with the names of Diddles Dinkledorf and Baby Burpee. And one of my personal favorites, perhaps most flagrant or should I say flatulent, Little Fartly Dinkledorf! You won’t be able to contain your laughter and you’ll learn some positive morals along the way.

But don’t just take my word for it! You’ll just have to find out through Sister Mary Olga’s journey of the many entertaining antics in The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.

Great Reading for People That would like to sit down and have a great laugh!

Kind words about Author Davis Aujourd'hui and his first book of the "Sister Mary Olga" Satire Series"



From The Publisher: "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1 of Series)

Author Davis Aujourd'hui:

Your narrative voice is FANTASTIC. Reading through your work was like sitting across from you and having a cup of coffee.

I really enjoyed it!

Your work demonstrates strong writing with a nice flow.

You really have done a nice job putting together your book. Your writing proves you did your homework before writing your story as your story line flows so nicely.

Your book is written well and I have to say that there were times I wondered if I was reading fiction or nonfiction.

Congratulations! 


Tinamarie Ruvalcaba
Author Representative
Outskirts Press



Book 1 - " The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Available in Paperback and Kindle Format! Kindle Special Pricing $3.99

Take a Joy Ride to Bucksnort - It Will be a Ride you Will Never Forget!

Whether you have a case of the blues or just want to crank it up a notch, there's nothing like a refreshing burst of laughter. That's exactly what I offer to you when you decide to take the plunge and take a hilarious trip to Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There, you'll meet a nun you're not likely to forget - Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.

Puffing on a Marlboro and taking a nip of bourbon from her flip-top crucifix, she manages to keep the Reverend Mother's habit in an uproar. The question is whether or not the reformed prostitute, Mother Carmen Burana, will continue to put up with Sister Mary Olga's antics. Sister Mary Olga's Advanced Holiness classes may be canceled.

Come meet all the zany characters. There's Randy Cowboy, the gay chef; Diddles Dinkledorf, the convent's craftsman who keeps Mary Olga supplied with liquor; the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead, founder of the Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. Thanks to the town prude, Priscilla Bunhead, he has been brought to Bucksnort to wipe out perversion in the Snortlands of Wisconsin.

Little Fartley Dinkledorf continues to disrupt Sister Mary Olga's classes in Beginner's Holiness with his flatulent ways. Martha Mayhem and Fartley's one hundred-seven year-old great grandfather, Poopsy, are some of her challenges in her Advanced Holiness classes. There, Sister Mary Olga dispenses nuggets of spiritual wisdom in between the absurd antics of some of her charges.

The characters are as diverse as all the colors of the rainbow. Their names are names you've never heard of before. There are Lula Mae Bunsaplenty and Jules Jesslike Pappas. There are Baby Burpee and Junior Rathbone. There are Lilliliver Lipstick and her timid husband, Abner Snatchasnitch. Their behaviors will keep you in stitches of laughter, though they might just illuminate you to your own behaviors that could use a tweak in a more positive direction.

Start your adventure with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and continue your journey with "Babes in Bucksnort". Bring along your sense of humor and prepare yourself for non-stop laughs.

Purchase both, I hear there is more snow coming! I hope you all enjoy!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

AUTHOR DAVIS AUJOURD'HUI GIVES INTERVIEW

I recently had another wonderful opportunity to talk about my hilarious series. It was a joy to talk about my wayward nun who loves her bourbon and her Marlboros. Along with the Reverend Mother, a reformed prostitute, and the convent's chef, a gay cowboy who is a self-described sex maniac, I had the chance to talk about my other deliciously dysfunctional characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin.

While the interview focused on my newest book in the series, "Babes in Bucksnort", I was able to talk about my motivation behind developing the series. Years ago, I entertained a colleague by leaving voice mails doing impressions of my delightful characters. She loved it and would burst out into cascades of laughter. Once I retired, I thought that I could write a book. That led to "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" which was soon followed by Babes and a host of other books waiting to be published.

Listeners of the interview will find out how the books will entertain them if they have an open mind. While the books speak to a few specific audiences, it has been highly reviewed by a cross section of diverse readers who have said they couldn't wait for more. Fortunately, they won't have to wait long for the other books to be published.

I spoke of a few zany scenarios from my book. There's the story of Baby Burpee and Junior Rathbone who get married by reenacting their first meeting on the shores of the mighty Mississippi. There, in nothing but their birthday suits, they part the waters of the great river with their mammoth forms. This almost catapults the preacher off the swimming float where the ceremony is going to take place.

Then there's the story of little Fartley Dinkledorf who gets a thrashing from Lula Mae Bunsaplenty when the little pooper covers her shrubbery in a most foul manner. The little boy couldn't help it because a mischievous classmate had given him a chocolate bar that was a laxative.

The African American woman with an attitude was further unamused when her paramour gave her an ultimatum to apologize to the boy. Having first incurred a indignant caning by Fartley's great grandfather, she takes off in a huff. The question remains as to whether she will ever return to Dinkledorf Drive in Bucksnort.

I was able to talk about the nuggets of spiritual wisdom in the book, dispensed by Sister Mary Olga in her Advanced Holiness classes. While Sister Mary Olga doesn't always agree with the pope, she preaches and practices the Golden Rule – to do unto others as you would like them to do unto yourselves.

I was further able to tell how the readers might get to learn about themselves through the antics and very human aspects of my characters. It takes one to know one. Just beware of what you might find out about yourselves. Don't worry, it will help you embrace your humanity once you realize that you are only human too.

I was especially grateful to be able to talk about the opportunities for recovery for alcoholics and sex addicts who might be part of the listening audience. As is the case with my characters, many people suffer from these addictions and help is available. The bottom line is that the books will help people to look at themselves and life without taking themselves too seriously. Take your own delightful joy ride to Bucksnort and see for yourselves. You won't regret a side-splitting moment.

Author Interview Held By Christian Avalon of Tartarus Radio ( a GLBT station)

Click Link to hear the interview: and the Inteview appears in the player under Textual Voices, ep 1: Interview with David Cowdery (Front Page of Website)

A DINLKELDORF ENCOUNTERS MAYHEM

Every once in awhile, we all encounter a form of mayhem in our lives on our ways to self-discovery. In the case of some of my characters in Bucksnort, Wisconsin, mayhem comes in different forms. First, there is the irascible Martha Mayhem. She is well-named since she is constantly looking for trouble. She is always at odds with her arch enemy, Priscilla Bunhead, the town snoop and gossip.

Priscilla wears her stringy hair in a tight little bun. Martha comes to especially hate that bun when Priscilla forms an organization called Bunheads Unite Now – BUN. She recruits vulnerable females who are looking for someone to do their thinking for them. Much to Martha's chagrin, this also includes some of her relatives. Martha later seeks revenge upon proud Prissy and beheads the bun of a shrieking Priscilla.

Mayhem is encountered in a different form when Diddles Dinkledorf and Mark Mayhem are young and horned-up teens. As they experiment with their sexualities, Mark learns that he enjoys Diddle's Dinkledorf where the sun don't shine. This becomes a life-long passion for the two later aging men who maintain that they are straight. It takes them nearly a lifetime to come to accept that they are gay.

Oh, it all starts out innocently enough. Their trysts take place in the abandoned outhouse of Sister Mary Olga's parents, Platitude and Fullove Fortitude. When the young Mary Olga catches them in the act, she acquires a secret knowledge that she later holds over Diddles' head in order to blackmail him.

Diddles works as a craftsman at the convent where Mary Olga subsequently becomes a nun. She has him fashion a custom-made crucifix that is hollow and contains a flip-top. Given her passion for having secret nips of Old Granddad bourbon, she now has a ready flask for her heavenly spirits.

The older Sister Mary Olga finally decides to blow Mark's cover, thinking she should do her duty to inform Mark's wife that she is married to a closet case. Marjorine Mayhem doesn't turn out to appreciate this knowledge. Seeking comfort, it ends up driving her into the arms of her sister-in-law, Martha. That's when Mayhem encounters Mayhem in a different form of the love that dares to speak its name. The two women discover that they too are gay once they indulge in a passionate kiss.

Life often mimics fiction and can even be stranger than it. Many of the characters in Bucksnort come to embrace their God-given sexualities as they learn to appreciate the diversity of life. Yes, life is indeed a journey full of differing self-discoveries.

You probably won't discover that you are gay unless you already possess those secret fantasies. Irregardless, you may come to embrace some of your own secret behaviors as you come to the understanding of those things within yourselves that need healing. My characters will help you make these discoveries in the most humorous ways.

Learn to accept all of yourselves as you make the journey to fuller self-discovery. Just try not to judge yourselves too harshly. The point is to not take yourselves too seriously. Just come to accept that you are human and that both you and life are good. In the meantime, laugh yourselves silly as you embark on your journeys to Bucksnort!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Sister Olga Fortitude" Book 1

"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2

Book 2 of Sister Mary Olga Book Series -"Babes in Bucksnort" - Amazon Deals for Cyber Monday!

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2 of The Sister Mary Olga Book Series)





About the Author - Davis Aujourd'hui

Davis Aujourd'hui is my pen name for the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude Series. Besides "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude," . I have already completed nine other books in the series and I plan to keep them coming. "Babes in Bucksnort" is Book 2 of the Series. .

I am a new author, yet I possess a rich life experience that has enabled me to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. I am a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years.

Book Review of "Babes in Bucksnort" Reviewed By Sarah Moore

Title of Document: Book Review
Book Title: Babes in Bucksnort
Author: Davis Aujourd’hui
ISBN: 978-1-4327-4500-4
Publisher: OutskirtsPress.com
Genre and Target Market: fiction; humor; social commentary
Publication Date: 2010
Book Length in Pages: 202

Now that I have been involved in the book publishing and marketing industry for several years, I am enjoying the opportunity to review subsequent works from authors whose first offering I also had the chance to read when it was released. What a pleasure it is to watch the evolution of a writer’s vision and message. This is particularly true when the author is in the midst of creating a series of books with a common theme or that is focused on a particular set of personalities. In these instances, I get to spend more time with characters I have come to love and I get a more complete sense of what the author is intending to show the readers. Such is the case with the release of the second book in the "Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series" by Davis Aujourd’hui, "Babes in Bucksnort."

Like the book that preceded it, The "Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", "Babes in Bucksnort" follows the antics of the diverse residents who live in Bucksnort, Wisconsin as told by the hard-drinking, chain-smoking nun whose name graces the entire series. However, while the first book was intended to introduce the readers to the large cast of characters and establish Sister Mary’s belief in tolerance and unconditional love, "Babes in Bucksnort" now takes a more focused approach to the storyline and confronts the growing prejudice against homosexuality in the town.

Becoming increasingly concerned about the infiltration of gays and lesbians in Bucksnort, Priscilla Bunhead forms a group of like-minded citizens who are determined to chase the people who they believe to be perverts out of town. Their efforts are reinforced when Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead brings his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to Bucksnort for a large rally that is meant to galvanize the supposedly moral people to save their community. As readers will discover, Billy-Bob, Priscilla, and other dispensers of harsh judgment will face a stronger and more unified opposition than they ever expected.

In this book, Aujourd’hui continues to do an excellent job of sharing social commentary through his memorable characters. Reverend Billy-Bob immediately conjures up images of television preachers who use their claim of Christianity to make a fortune from condemning others. Lilliliver Lipstick, another new character to the series and sidekick to Priscilla Bunhead, reminds me of the weak child who stands behind the playground bully and quietly watches while her fellow students are belittled and beaten. And, of course, Sister Mary Olga is still the necessary voice of kindness and reason in the middle of a wild atmosphere. I imagine in more than one instance, readers will recognize a character in "Babes in Bucksnort" as an exaggerated representation of someone they know in their own lives.

As I read both published installments in the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series, I realized that I was enjoying the content for two distinct reasons. First, Aujourd’hui creates men, women, and children with unforgettable (and descriptive!) names and even more outrageous behavior. I appreciated the sharp humor that the author employed to this end and found great entertainment value in turning each page and discovering what these characters would do next.

But, I also enjoyed the important messages of love and acceptance that Aujourd’hui emphasizes, particularly through the teachings of Sister Mary herself. Once in a while, we all need mirrors placed in front of us to help us examine and rethink how we treat one another, and Davis Aujourd’hui accomplishes this through his writing. "Babes in Bucksnort" is a book that will make you both think and laugh, which defines a great read for me. Now, I just need to wait for book number three so that I can discover who Sister Mary will bring to task next!

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1)

"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2

Randy Cowboy Meets Sex Meets Sex Maniacs Notorious

Randy Cowboy is the convent's gay chef. While he knows how to satisfy the good sisters' appetites, Randy's own appetite for sex is ravenous. He never seems to be able to get enough!

Randy made himself a good buddy with a sexy young man with brown hair, bewitching blue eyes, and a soccer player's build when he was cruising down by the old mill stream. Unfortunately for Randy, he didn't ask Bruce Friendly for his phone number.

Back in his bungalow, Randy plaintively sought more companionship on the Internet. As his good fortune would have it, he received a reply from someone whose screen name was Heaven's Gate. As his good fortune increased, it just happened to be Bruce Friendly. That was just the first surprise. Bruce had another one up his sleeve!

Randy excitedly asked Bruce if they could have sex again. That's when Bruce began to fumble. That's also when he was going to throw Randy a curve ball.

Bruce told Randy that he was a sex maniac. Randy didn't have any problem with that. He quickly replied that he was one too.

Bruce replied, “I don't think you understand what I mean. I'm a sex maniac in recovery and I shouldn't be on the internet. I attend a twelve step meeting called Sex Maniacs Notorious.”

“Gee,” replied Randy. “I probably could use that myself. I just seem to be totally out of control when it comes to sex.”

“Well,” said Bruce. “If you're serious, you could come to one of our meetings.”

The very next day, Randy went to the Big City to attend his first meeting. He was disappointed when he didn't see Bruce. That was okay. Randy took a seat next to another handsome guy. Maybe he would find himself a fringe benefit after the meeting.

That wasn't going to happen. When Randy flashed his sexiest smile at the handsome fellow, the other guy gave Randy the cold shoulder. Randy didn't like that. He wasn't used to that sort of thing. It appeared that these sex maniacs were serious about recovery. Now, the question for Randy was if he was going to take this sex maniacs thing seriously for himself.

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui

Sister Mary Olga Book Series:

Book#1 - "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Book#2 - "Babes in Bucksnort"

PRISCILLA BUNHEAD MEETS LILLILIVER LIPSTICK

Priscilla was the town prude and busybody. Lately, she had found ripe pickings among some of her new neighbors. They were none other than the Snatchasnitches. The most vulnerable member of that family
was none other than Lilliliver Lipstick.

Priscilla presented the Snatchasnitches with one of her famous sour cream cakes on the very day after they had moved into the neighborhood. Prissy needed all of the support she could get for her causes. She was still trying to regain ground after Sister Samantha had infiltrated one of her BUN meetings. BUN just happens to stand for Bunheads Unite Now.

Ever the good student of poor fashion, Lilliliver Lipstick was a prime candidate for a strangled bun with which to control her stringy dishwater hair. She was also a good candidate to be controlled by someone who could do her thinking for her.

Prissy rang the Snatchasnitch’s doorbell and was greeted by Abner and Lilliliver’s little Senorita. At least our little Senorita had some good sense, though she was lacking in the manners department. There before her stood a scrawny, prune-faced lady who looked as if she’d been sucking on lemons.

Senorita took one look at this woman who had about as much hair as a church mouse. Then she exclaimed, “You’re the ugliest old lady I’ve ever seen!”

Prissy nearly shoved her sour cream cake right into little Senorita’s smug face until she remembered that she was on a mission. That’s when Lilliliver Lipstick quickly appeared and said to Senorita, “Now, now, sweetie, that’s not a very nice thing to say to an old lady.”

Priscilla was still on the fence about where her cake should end up. She chose the higher road and she presented it to Lilliliver Lipstick as she said, “Welcome to Dinkledorf Drive! I wanted to be the first one to roll out the welcome mat to you. May I come in for a moment?”

Lilliliver gave Priscilla a smile that reminded Priscilla of some of the insecure girls in her former etiquette classes for young ladies. Then Lilliliver admitted Prissy to her own perfect and prissily-kept home before she offered Priscilla a perfectly-fluffed, aqua-colored arm chair.

Priscilla took in the surroundings and the chair with an approving smile. Aqua had always been her favorite color. Besides, having recently become a retired home economics teacher, she was always pleased to see a young woman who took her domestic chores seriously. Then she craftily led the conversation around to her latest campaign.

She lowered her high-strung voice into nearly a whisper when she said, “My dear, I think I should warn you about some of your new neighbors. Evil lurks in the neighborhood. Why, the house just two doors down from you is inhabited by a couple of lesbians! You must protect your little Senorita against their evil influences. You wouldn’t want her to turn out like that, now would you?”

Lilliliver shuddered at the thought as she feverishly squirmed in her own seat. Then she exclaimed, “Oh my heavens, no!”

Priscilla continued on. “I also think that you should know that we have a couple of Negroes on the block. Now, the old man, Jules Jesslike Pappas, is really a credit to his race, but he’s living in sin with a lazy, dark-skinned, good-for-nothing floozy named Lula Mae Bunsaplenty. I’d been so concerned for our neighborhood when she’d moved in. Thank goodness it hasn’t kept fine upstanding white folks like you from buying a home here!”

Lilliliver appeared disturbed. She hadn’t realized that there had been any Negroes in the neighborhood. That’s when she exclaimed, “They don’t have any boys, do they?”

“Oh no, my dear!” Prissy continued. “Jules and Lula Mae don’t have any children and I sincerely doubt that they ever will. Their relationship seems to be on the rocks. At least you won’t have to worry about your little girl being pursued by an oversexed black boy. Even so, we need to make sure that they don’t attract any other Negroes into our beautiful neighborhood!”

“Certainly not!” Lilliliver exclaimed. “I’ll be sure to warn Abner about the situation!”

Priscilla continued on as she said, “I’m afraid there’s one more neighbor on whom you’re going to have to keep an eye if you don’t want him keeping an eye on you. He’s really a pretty harmless old man named Poopsy Dinkledorf. Why, the man is over one hundred years-old, but he’s also a dirty old man and a Peeping Tom!”

Lilliliver quickly retorted, “Well, he’s not going to get a chance with me because I always keep my blinds closed!”

“That’s very wise, my dear,” replied a self-satisfied Priscilla. “Even so, I might suggest that you remain vigilant and peek out your blinds on a regular basis. You can always come running over to my house if you see anything that we should be concerned about.”

Lilliliver quickly went over to her window blinds where she parted them before she peered out in all directions. Priscilla smiled at her action. “Oh, Miss Bunhead,” Lilliliver whimpered. “I just can’t believe that we’re surrounded by perverts and Negroes! I can’t thank you enough for warning me! I feel so much more secure knowing that I’m going to have a good friend like you in order to help protect my little Senorita.”

“Well, there’s one other thing that you can do in order to help protect your little darling,” replied Priscilla who nearly spat out her last word upon remembering that perfectly wretched child. “I’ve formed a new organization called CUDDD. That stands for Citizens United for Decency on Dinkledorf Drive. We just happen to be having our first meeting tonight. I’m counting on you for your support.”

“Oh my, yes!” declared Priscilla’s newest hand puppet. “I’ll be sure to be there!”

“That’s a good girl,” purred Priscilla. “Now, it’s time for me to go!” With that said, she wormed her way out of her chair, took her leave, and she skittered across the street to her own lookout station.

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui

Sister Mary Olga Book Series
Book #1 "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"
Book #2 "Babes in Bucksnort"

"Laugh, Learn & Love" Book Review of "Babes In Bucksnort" June 11, 2010

Book Reviews of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort"
By A Very Merry Shakespeare (NY, NY) 


This review is from: Babes in Bucksnort: Sister Mary Olga Fortitude Book 2 (Paperback)

Guys and gals - if you want to laugh out loud, and learn something at the same time, this is the book for you. Series of books, actually; the first book in this great set that I received in the mail was titled "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Now, Sister Mary Olga dwells at the Have a Heart convent in Bucksnort, Wisconsin. She is a true spiritual guide for everyone, and it shouldn't matter that she also has two things she loves - Marlboros and bourbon. When I began the first book, I quickly and completely fell into it and could not put it down; I was so entranced with the people on Dinkledorf Drive that I, literally, fell in love with each adn every one of them. I also was impressed at the way the author addressed many issues pertinent to the world today including religion and gay rights.


I moved on to the second book almost immediately because I was, by then, so wrapped up in these characters that I was laughing at a time when I truly needed to laugh and I wanted my happiness (and stress-relief) to continue. In the second novel, Priscilla Bunhead is one of those people that every small town in America has; she is the righteous busy body who can't stand the fact that there are atrocities in her world such as gay people infiltrating her town. She goes on a crusade, with the help of her millionaire friend, to call forth the wise and righteous Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead. This is the man who will clean up her town and force the gay people out of her neck of the woods. Not only do we have that storyline, but the author also introduces a character called Dimples Dufus who wants nothing more than to reclaim the fortune that Dimples left behind.


The spiritual wisdom that this author and his fantastic characters impart is truly a lesson in support, kindness, and love - things that some true Christians have forgotten over time. (Yes, that's my opinion so don't send horrible letters to the owner of this site). On a side-note, when characters are named Fartley and Dewdrop Dinkledorf, Ralphy Mayhem, Lilliliver Lipstick, and Father Cowberries, how exactly can a reader go wrong? I am so happy to have been introduced to this author and his series that I really can't wait for Book III: Have a Heart, to be released. Every once in a while a writer comes along who I believe should have more press and publicity, and Mr. Aujurd'hui is the newest one to make that list. Everyone go out and get these books and enjoy!

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui

Sister Mary Olga Book Series:
Book #1 "The Mistadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"
Book #2 "Babes in Bucksnort"

Confession is Good for the Soul & Funny Bone

In my new novel, The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, Sister Mary Olga talks about the importance of confession as well as acceptance and forgiveness. These are strong emotions and shouldn’t be entered into lightly.

With that being said, nobody is perfect. Sister Mary Olga would be the first to tell you this because she has a just few vices of her own with a snort of Bourbon and a full puff from a Marlboro every once in a while. She lovingly teaches morals to live by not only her class in Advanced Holiness, but educates readers to learn and apply the valuable lessons of life, along with plenty of humor in between of course.

Everyone should bring more humor and laughter into life. You can release your soul with confession, but never forget to smile in the process.

Want to start having more fun?

1. Smile. Smile at strangers. Smile as you drive to work. Smile when you’re doing household chores. Smile when you’re talking on the phone. Smile more in conversation with others.

2. As Sister Mary Olga would tell you, “Count your blessings”. Consider all the wonderful things in your life and bring more laughter to your family and friends. It will come back to you ten-fold guaranteed.

3. Spend time with other fun, playful people. What a great way to share the feelings of humor?

4. Bring more humor to conversations. Talk about a funny book you’ve just read, like The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude. You can then tell some of the zany antidotes straight from Bucksnort.

5. When you hear laughter, move toward it. It is absolutely contagious. Catch it, release it, and share it. Don’t forget to catch it again when it comes back around.

Create more opportunities to laugh. Develop your sense of humor more and be sure to take yourself less seriously. Laugh. Smile. Laugh and smile right now as you read this. It will transform your life in so many positive ways. I promise you.

What’s the funniest story you’ve heard today?

I hope that you take the opportunity to check out The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude and get an extra dose of laughter today

KISS YOUR TROUBLES AWAY

How often in life, do you become consumed by your troubles as you worry about what the future may bring? Many times, even the smallest of problems seem even more exasperating than the big ones. The good news is that there's an answer to dealing with them. It's all a matter of staying present to the moment and leaving the future to the benevolence of the Universe.

I have usually found it useful to shift my focus. This usually involves taking some kind of action such as going for a walk or reading a good book. Helping out someone else with their own problems is an excellent way of getting out of your own troubles. Simply kiss them away.

If you like to laugh, I can offer you a solution. My series of hilarious satires is guaranteed to keep you laughing in stitches until the end. "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" within the next month.

Transport yourself to the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin where you'll meet the zany characters on Dinkledorf Drive. You'll meet the nasty town gossip and back stabber, Priscilla Bunhead, who is always digging in the dirt in order to make life miserable for her neighbors.

Just wait until she gets into another fight with Martha Mayhem. Martha has always got her scissors ready to get some revenge upon her arch nemesis who wears a tight little bun on top of her head. She'll simply snip it off.

Watch out for the dirty old man, one hundred-five year-old Poopsy Dinkledorf, who has the annoying habit of peering into people's windows. When he spies upon the voluptuous and haughty Lula Mae Bunsaplenty, he will meet his match.

If you happen to take one of Sister Mary Olga's classes in Advanced Holiness, don't take a seat next to Poopsy's great grandson, Fartley. The little lad lives up to his name. He takes perverse pleasure in passing gas. Eventually a classmate will play a trick upon him that will cure him of that.

Speaking of Sister Mary Olga, she has her own way of dealing with life's problems. She simply lights up a Marlboro and sends up a smoke-signaling prayer to God. She also washes away her cotton mouth with some healthy swigs of bourbon.

This inevitably gets her into trouble with her Reverend Mother. Even though Mother Carmen has dealt with overcoming her past as a prostitute, she is not very open-minded about helping Sister Mary Olga out with her own problems.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if every problem you have can be handled in such a light-hearted manner!

The good news is that every problem has a solution and usually there are many.

In the meantime, how about giving yourself a break and taking a trip to Bucksnort. You won't regret it.

Humor helps to not take life so seriously!

Purchase your copy today here!

"Sister Mary Olga on the Radio"

Part of the fun of being an author is promoting my book. A lot of that has been hard work, but there's nothing like getting to talk about my stories that is more fun than writing them. This week, I had the opportunity to host a radio show about Misadventures with a few of my fans and fellow authors. We had a blast!

It's a good thing that I'm a ham and can be spontaneous. With the give and take of questions, one always needs to be prepared to give an extemporaneous answer so that it doesn't sound like a canned spiel. I'm passionate about my books and I have no problem telling the stories within the tales or those connected behind the scenes.

Each of those stories is filled with outrageous humor that is guaranteed to keep its readers laughing until their sides hurt; that is, if they have an open mind. Sister Mary Olga is a naughty nun and so are many of the zany characters who live on Dinkledorf Drive in the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin.

One of my guests happened to have a personal connection to the image used for Sister Mary Olga on the cover of my book. That was the KISS-FM radio personality out of Dallas, Texas, named Rob Anthony. He told the story which belonged to a woman near and dear to him.

A couple of years before Misadventures was published, I asked Rob's mother, Janice Reilly, to pose for the cover in a nun's habit. Like Sister Mary Olga, she was a wise and crusty soul who also had a passion for her Marlboros.

She gleefully told me, “Sure, Davis, I'll do it for you!”

She so much related to the character of Sister Mary Olga that she would call me daily to ask me “what she was doing” as I continued to write my books. I would read her my day's writing and she would laugh out loud in her inimitable full-throated laugh.

Unfortunately, Rob's mother passed away before that picture could be taken. As she lay on her deathbed, I told her, “Jan, I'm going to get you on that cover one way or another!”

Thanks to the marvelous illustrator for the cover, we were able to accomplish that. He used one of my favorite pictures of her and crafted a nun's habit around it. He also placed a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and had her holding a bottle of bourbon behind her back. Janice would have been pleased!

That story was told as well as my story of how I created the characters. When I had been a social worker, I used to entertain a colleague and friend of mine using my gift of humor. I would call up her voice mail and leave spontaneous scenarios of my cast of characters from Bucksnort as I did impressions of each of them. My friend would burst into peals of cascading laughter whenever she listened to her voice mail at work on the following day. That eventually inspired me to write the series of books which I have written.

In the meantime, check out the rave reviews of The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude on Amazon.com in which ecstatic readers have said they can't wait for the next book to be published. They won't have to wait long. The first sequel, Babes in Bucksnort, will be published within the next few months.

In the meantime, feel free to check out my radio show entitled The Funniest Satire Series of the Decade. Just click on the link below and scroll down to the show's title. Then click on “stream” which was posted on March 17, 2010.

Here's the link: http://www.globaltalkradio.com/shows/publicaccessradio

Enjoy!