Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A DINLKELDORF ENCOUNTERS MAYHEM





Every once in awhile, we all encounter a form of mayhem in our lives on our ways to self-discovery. In the case of some of my characters in Bucksnort, Wisconsin, mayhem comes in different forms. First, there is the irascible Martha Mayhem. She is well-named since she is constantly looking for trouble. She is always at odds with her arch enemy, Priscilla Bunhead, the town snoop and gossip.

Priscilla wears her stringy hair in a tight little bun. Martha comes to especially hate that bun when Priscilla forms an organization called Bunheads Unite Now – BUN. She recruits vulnerable females who are looking for someone to do their thinking for them. Much to Martha's chagrin, this also includes some of her relatives. Martha later seeks revenge upon proud Prissy and beheads the bun of a shrieking Priscilla.

Mayhem is encountered in a different form when Diddles Dinkledorf and Mark Mayhem are young and horned-up teens. As they experiment with their sexualities, Mark learns that he enjoys Diddle's Dinkledorf where the sun don't shine. This becomes a life-long passion for the two later aging men who maintain that they are straight. It takes them nearly a lifetime to come to accept that they are gay.

Oh, it all starts out innocently enough. Their trysts take place in the abandoned outhouse of Sister Mary Olga's parents, Platitude and Fullove Fortitude. When the young Mary Olga catches them in the act, she acquires a secret knowledge that she later holds over Diddles' head in order to blackmail him.

Diddles works as a craftsman at the convent where Mary Olga subsequently becomes a nun. She has him fashion a custom-made crucifix that is hollow and contains a flip-top. Given her passion for having secret nips of Old Granddad bourbon, she now has a ready flask for her heavenly spirits.

The older Sister Mary Olga finally decides to blow Mark's cover, thinking she should do her duty to inform Mark's wife that she is married to a closet case. Marjorine Mayhem doesn't turn out to appreciate this knowledge. Seeking comfort, it ends up driving her into the arms of her sister-in-law, Martha. That's when Mayhem encounters Mayhem in a different form of the love that dares to speak its name. The two women discover that they too are gay once they indulge in a passionate kiss.

Life often mimics fiction and can even be stranger than it. Many of the characters in Bucksnort come to embrace their God-given sexualities as they learn to appreciate the diversity of life. Yes, life is indeed a journey full of differing self-discoveries.

You probably won't discover that you are gay unless you already possess those secret fantasies. Irregardless, you may come to embrace some of your own secret behaviors as you come to the understanding of those things within yourselves that need healing. My characters will help you make these discoveries in the most humorous ways.

Learn to accept all of yourselves as you make the journey to fuller self-discovery. Just try not to judge yourselves too harshly. The point is to not take yourselves too seriously. Just come to accept that you are human and that both you and life are good. In the meantime, laugh yourselves silly as you embark on your journeys to Bucksnort!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

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