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UPCOMING MISADVENTURES

You've loved "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort". Perhaps you are wondering where I will take you next. Let me give you a taste. In my article, Looking Forward to More Sister Mary Olga, I tell you about the next book in the series, "Have A Heart." The action doesn't stop there. I have written a total of eleven books in the series.

The surprise that will come after "Have A Heart" is that I will take you on a journey back in time. That journey will begin when Sister Mary Olga is a girl of fifteen. You'll meet her ardently Baptist parents who will become shocked when Mary Olga decides to become a Catholic.

You'll meet the young Priscilla Bunhead and Martha Mayhem. You will learn how they became arch enemies when Priscilla stole Martha's boyfriend, Crabby Crandall. That happened after Martha was caught in a compromising situation with Crabby and was grounded by her parents.

The young Father Cowberries went by the name of Tiger. As a child, Martha was his very strict babysitter. Martha was very fond of applying a rubber spatula to Tiger's rear end whenever he acted up. Such was often the case.

One day, Tiger scored a real coup when he was walking through the Crandall apple orchard. He found Martha and Crabby engaged in behavior most unbecoming to a Baptist. There, in the midst of the orchard, the two teens were rolling in the clover with their clothes in a pile beside them.


Tiger realized he had a chance to get even with Martha. He stealthily approached the unsuspecting, copulating couple and he stole their clothes. The nude teens were no match for Tiger. Tiger raced off to the Mayhem home where he displayed Martha's panties to her horrified mother.


That was the day Martha became grounded. Soon thereafter, Crabby was looking for a new conquest. He thought he had found that in the buxom Priscilla Bunhead. Unfortunately or not for Crabby, he never had the chance to discover Priscilla's little secret. Her large bosom was a lie. Prissy paraded around pom-poms that were really just falsies.

She also was a prude. Crabby never got past first base with Prissy. Of course, Martha never knew that for sure, but she was sure to wreak her revenge upon Prissy when she got a chance. Martha was in her full glory on the night that she invited the neighborhood teen boys to Prissy's pool. That's when the boys encountered a very surprised Prissy in a most uncompromising situation. Frolicking nude in the pool, she was exposed as the flat-chested girl she really was.

You may remember this story from "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". You will learn many of the past secrets of the residents of Dinkledorf Drive as you dive into this first prequel. You will soon come to learn of Mother Carmen Burana's sordid past as a streetwalker. You will meet the workers at the Best Little Whorehouse on the Prairie. You will be treated to one tantalizing nugget after another that will keep you in stitches of laughter.


Spread the word about my first two books. Their success if paramount in order to bring you the next nine books in the series. In the meantime, I will keep on writing. I want to tickle every funny bone in your bodies.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"
Paperbook Edition $13.95  Purchase Here !!!!!
Kindle Edition $3.99 Purchase Here !!!!!!

"Babes in Bucksnort"
Paperback Edition $13.95 Purchase Here !!!!!!
Kindle Edition $3.99 Purchase Here !!!!!

Anatomy of a Character: Introducing Sister Mary Olga Fortitude

Today I begin a series of interviews with authors talking about their main characters. What makes these characters tick? How did the author develop their personalities and quirks?

Today we are talking to Davis Aujourd’hui, author of "Babes in Bucksnort", about his main character, Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun.
Your new novel, "Babes in Bucksnort", is the first sequel to your Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series.

What inspired you to write this story?

Davis: That's easy! When I finished "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", I hadn't run out of ideas for future, outrageously funny books like my current book, "Babes in Bucksnort". My creative juices were flowing and I was on a roll.

As you may not know, I developed the characters many years ago in order to entertain a colleague of mine when I had been a social worker. She absolutely loved the characters and that spurred me on to developed more deliciously dysfunctional ones.

When I retired, I thought to myself that I could write a book. One led to another. I've been gratified by the rave reviews which has only served to further inspire me to write more books. I have currently written a total of eleven books with which to further entice my readers with entertaining humor interspersed with nuggets of spiritual wisdom.

Your previous book, "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", was quite a hoot and it was all because of the Sister nun herself. How did you ever come up with this character?

Davis: It was pure inspiration. One day, I thought of the character and left a voice-mail for my colleague. The following day at work, she listened to the message with curiosity. Then she took one look at me and burst into a cascade of laughter.

I have always loved zany humor. This has been a life-saver for me amidst a life filled with much pain. I love to mix it up and to be irreverent, just like the good, bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun. I am also a student of spirituality. I use my character to inspire others to wake up to their own spirits.

This has turned out to become a quest for me. I believe we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. As we embrace our spirits, life will become filled with the joy that we deserve to experience. I love to use humor to wake people up to their potential for joy.

What is it about Sister Mary Olga Fortitude that people just love?

Davis: People love her because she is all too human. She's not afraid to show her warts as well as her holiness. She has a zest for life and knows how to make people laugh until their sides ache.

Yes, she has some nasty little habits just as we all do. She loves her booze and her cigarettes which constantly gets her into trouble with her Reverend Mother, a reformed prostitute. This contrast provides for more delicious entertainment.

After all, life is all about contrast. From it, we can discern what we want to keep and what we want to give up.

Does Sister Mary Olga ever get rid of her nasty habits? Do you expect me to give away all of my secrets? You'll just have to keep reading. There's much more joy to come.

Is there anything about her that would make people go, “No way!”

Davis: Perhaps. How many nuns have large, hollow crucifixes with a flip-top which serve as flasks for bourbon? Sister Mary Olga has one. She's a sneaky little angel.

Perhaps some will think she's too full of herself as she teaches her classes in Advanced Holiness. What my readers need to understand is that we are all only too human. Such is the case with Sister Mary Olga. As my series continues, she is forced to look at her own foibles. Her choice is to stay stuck or to practice what she preaches.

Did the character develop more as you wrote the book or did you have a pretty good feeling of how she was going to turn out?

Davis: My character is like all of us. Nothing is constant in the human experience. Life forces us to take a look at ourselves and offers us the opportunity to grow. Such is the case with Sister Mary Olga.

As for my ability to determine what would become of her in my future books, I let inspiration lead the way. Humor was always my main goal in entertaining my readers, but I had an underlying motive as well. That was to wake people up to their own spirits as they read my hilarious books. Just like Sister Mary Olga, I'm sneaky too.

If you were going to develop a character sketch for the Sister, what would you say are her strengths and weaknesses?

Davis: Her strengths lie within her belief that we all have a potential to grow. Unfortunately, some people such as my character, Priscilla Bunhead, continue to stay stuck. Such is not the case with Sister Mary Olga. She continues to be confronted by the other characters in the book who challenge her to take a look at herself. Is this fun for her? Some of it is painful, but it is always entertaining.

Her weaknesses are also her strengths, just as it is for all of us. She, like us, is only human. When we can embrace our humanity, we can let go of that which no longer serves us and affirm those strengths we wish to possess.

The trick is to do it without judging ourselves. That's where humor comes in handy. If we can't laugh at ourselves, woe be to us. We don't need to beat ourselves up. We need to believe in our potential and to simply wake up to it. We also need to let our spirits rather than our egos guide us. This is a continuing lesson for the good sister.

Okay, shall I be more specific about her weaknesses and strengths? She is an addict. She can be judgmental. She can be holier than Thou. Yet she is an ongoing student of life. She learns from her child students and her adult babes. She may be a teacher of holiness, but just like us all, she is also a student of the human experience.

Would you say the Sister related well to people?

Davis: That's a challenge for her. She does have her pet peeves. She doesn't like her Reverend Mother against whom she holds a grudge. She can't believe that a former prostitute beat her out for the reverend mother position. This is an example of how she has judged others.

She also has a problem relating to others who practice judgment such as the prudish Priscilla Bunhead. This is where Sister Mary Olga needs to take a look in the mirror at her own ego. It can block her from seeing how she's not that much different from other humans who cast judgments.

The bottom line is that she is willing to admit her mistakes once she wakes up to them. She is a student of life and a practitioner of the Golden Rule. She believes in practicing what she preaches. This is her lesson to us all. If only we did unto others as we wished they would do unto us, life would be a bowl of cherries, minus the sour pits.

If there were a movie made out of "Babes in Bucksnort", who would play Sister Mary Olga?

Davis: Ah, that's a good one! I'd love to have one of the comedic giants of the day play her. My first thought was to cast Bette Midler, but her agent turned me down. Rosie O'Donnell or Ellen DeGeneres would be other good choices. Even so, I think the overlooked talent of Sally Struthers would be a natural. I recently saw her perform in a summer stock production of Legally Blond. Sally played a character to the hilt. She'd do good justice to Sister Mary Olga.

Besides the Bible, what other reading material would be on Sister Mary Olga’s bed stand?

Davis: She'd be an avid reader of spiritual and humorous books. She'd love Anthony DeMello, Eckhardt Tolle, and Deepak Chopra. She might wrestle with Wayne Dyer, but she'd love Armistead Maupin and Carl Hiassen.

What would say are the Sister’s passions?

Davis: Well, of course, she loves her bourbon and her Marlboros. More than anything, she loves the teachings of Jesus concerning unconditional love. She loves teaching about letting go of the human ego and embracing spirit which is only about joy, peace, and love. Above all, she loves humor which will lead us all to our own joy.

If you would meet Sister Mary Olga in person, what would she say to you about how you portrayed her in the book?

Davis: She'd say, “You hit the nail right on the head!”

Finally, if Sister Mary Olga had a few words of wisdom for my readers, what would she say?

Davis: That's easy! She'd say, “If you practice the Golden Rule, you wouldn't need the Ten Commandments.

Author Davis Aujourd Blog: http://authordavisaujourdhui.blogspot.com/

The Funniest Satire Series of the Decade Blog: http://bestsatireseriesofthedecade.blogspot.com/

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available in Paperback for $13.95 and can be PURCHASED HERE.! Also, available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and be PURCHASED HERE!

"Babes in Bucksnort" is available in Paperback for $13.95 and can be PURCHASED HERE! Also available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and you can PURCHASE HERE!

I hope you all enjoy,

Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" by Author Davis Aujourd' Hui

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN SISTER MARY OLGA & PRISCILLA BUNHEAD

Sister Mary Olga:

“Just wait one minute while I have a deliciously holy snort of bourbon and light up a Marlboro. Oh? What's that?... I'm on the radio!... Goodness Gravy! Forgive me, my dears. This is Sister Mary Olga Fortitude coming to you. Now! I've heard that some of you are interested in hearing about my misadventures. That's all well and good as long as you don't spread any malicious gossip. After all, there's nothing very holy about that!

Suffice it to say that life is happening in the sleepy little hamlet of Bucksnort, Wisconsin in just the same manner as everywhere else. It's just that most of you tend to keep your untidy little secrets to yourself. Ahem! Excuse me for just a moment while I have another refreshing drink of what I prefer to call heavenly spirits. Ah! That's much better!
Well! Thanks to a busybody named Priscilla Bunhead, nobody's business in the Snortlands of Wisconsin remains their own for very long. Priscilla is the president of an organization called BUN. That stands for Bunheads Unite Now. Why, she's recruited the most vulnerable female souls of Bucksnort who prefer to have someone else do their thinking for them. Just like Priscilla, her fellow bunheads all wear their hair in little buns at the back of their heads. This only serves to squeeze their little brains so tightly that they couldn't think for themselves even if they wanted to.”

(Suddenly there is a shrill voice in the background.)Priscilla Bunhead:
“Just wait one damn moment, you sanctimonious sister! We bunheads happen to practice human decency contrary to the likes of you and that former whore of your reverend mother, not to mention the perverts on Dinkledorf Drive. How would you like to live next to a half-Negro bastard like Jules Jesslike Pappas and his fat floozy, Lula Mae Bunsaplenty, while I have a couple of lesbos living on the other side of my unhappy home?

To make matters even worse, I think there's a homo or two on the block! Then there's that 105 year-old peeping Tom, Poopsy Dinkledorf, who lives across the street! The only comfort I have about this revolting situation is that I know they're all going straight to hell when they die. In the meantime, I'll get my satisfaction by doing everything in my power to make their lives as miserable as possible! Maybe that will convince them to get the hell out of Bucksnort!”
Sister Mary Olga:

“Ahem! (followed by a whisper to the audience) - Hang on folks while I just have another little snort to calm my nerves. - It seems to me that you could benefit from one of my classes in Advanced Holiness. After all, as the good book says, 'Judge not, lest ye be judged.'”
Priscilla Bunhead:

“I'll be damned if I'll ever set my foot on the grounds of a Catholic convent! I happen to be a good Baptist so don't think that you're going to preach to me! After all, since you're always siding with the perverts, you'll also be going straight to hell. I just hope the readers of your books don't get suckered in by your so-called lessons in holiness. As the saying goes, 'Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing!'”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Now, now, my dear! Just be careful when you cast a judgment. After all, we're all only looking into a mirror at ourselves whenever we do that.”
Priscilla Bunhead:

“Poppycock, Mary Olga! I'm just here to let your listeners know that, if they read your books, they'll probably go straight to hell too. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn! They'll only have themselves to blame. At least I've done them the favor of warning them.”
Sister Mary Olga:


“Ahem! I'm sure you think you're doing them a kindness. Perhaps it would be better if you let them judge that for themselves. After all, all of God's children deserve a chance to have a good laugh and, (as Sister Mary Olga lets go of a belly laugh) God forgive me, you've just done that for me. Bless you, my dear.”
Priscilla Bunhead:


“You'd better wake up and smell the coffee before it's too late! As for me, I'm getting the hell out of here because your homo cowboy chef is coming this way with a tray of cookies. If you know what's good for you, I wouldn't eat one of those. After all, you never know where his hands might have been!” (sound of running footsteps)
Sister Mary Olga:


“Sigh! Hi Randy!”
Randy Cowboy:


“Hey, Sister, who was that?”


Sister Mary Olga:


“Honey, you don't want to know! When I used to believe in them, I might have called her a demon. Instead I realize she's just a scared little girl. Now! Let's change to a gayer note and let me have one of those cookies! They look scrumptious!”

Start your day off with some laughter and purchase a copy of the book today of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Hope you enjoy!

DON'T LET THE JUDGMENT BE ON YOU - Author Davis Aujourd'hui

How human it is to judge! It seems to be a fact of life. Unfortunately, it can lead to warped perceptions of others and of what is. The road to being free of judgment is to come to a place of acceptance. That always begins within.

As humans, we often find ourselves comparing ourselves with others. If we hold someone in high esteem, we may end up feeling diminished ourselves. If we are full of ourselves, we tend to judge others as inferior. Don't let the judgment be on you!

It's a tricky business. In comparing ourselves to others, we may not realize what we are doing. Our egos are leading the way to conflict – within or without. What we tend to judge in others is something we need to take a look at within ourselves. It may not be that we have that same issue, but we may have something else that we need to look at.

As an example, we may look at someone who has an addiction to alcohol with disdain. We may think that they should be able to exercise willpower. Unfortunately, that doesn't tend to work when it comes to addiction. Addiction is a disease. The thing we need to look at for ourselves is how we may be addicted to something else that may or may not be as destructive.

For example, we may be addicted to toxic relationships. We may be addicted to work, sex, compulsive gambling or compulsive buying. When we judge the alcoholic, we think we are better than him or her in order to avoid looking at our own issue. This is denial!

I have developed a series of satires that contain ornery characters who like to judge others. Priscilla Bunhead is a case in point. She judges anyone who is different from herself as being “less than.” She looks at my main character, Sister Mary Olga, with disdain. That's because Sister Mary Olga likes to tip her bottle of bourbon with fervor and to smoke her Marlboros with a passion. Because Priscilla doesn't do these things, she thinks she is better than Sister Mary Olga.

When Priscilla Bunhead looks at people who are gay, she judges them as perverts. She doesn't have any comprehension that they were made that way. It's not a matter of choice. They just happen to have a different sexuality than her.

Unfortunately for Priscilla, she has no outlet for her sexuality. She is an old maid who has never had sex. Perhaps her judgments are fueled by envy of those who have healthy outlets with which to express themselves.

She also doesn't like African-Americans. She basically doesn't like anyone who is different than herself. She has no ability to appreciate the diversity of people. She probably doesn't even like the different colors of the rainbow. Poor Priscilla! She happens to be a very unhappy person.

You may or may not see it, but you may have some aspects of Priscilla Bunhead within yourself. Your vision may be clouded because we all have blind spots. This is where careful self-examination is important. Just don't take this or yourself too seriously. Life is meant to be about joy.

A better road would be to find the ability to laugh at yourself. A good vehicle to do this would be to read my books and take a look at yourself as you laugh at my zany characters. Just don't be surprised if the laugh is on you!

Author Aujourd'hui

Book Review of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" By Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", September 29, 2011
**** (4Stars) By Kathleen Kelly "Celticlady" (Rhinelander, WI USA)

My Thoughts:

Hilarious, laugh out loud, must read book!! If you love humor and satire then this is the book for you. I was put off a bit by the title and I am not real religious nor Catholic but I decided, what the heck, I will give this book a chance as I like to discover new authors. "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is a book told in the viewpoint of 65 year old Sister Mary Olga Fortitude who resides at the Have a Heart Convent where she teaches various religious classes. At each class she tells a story about a different resident of Bucksnort Wisconsin. Also at this convent is Father Cowberries, a priest with a passion for 'the drink' and Mother Superior Carmen Burana, who was a prostitute in a former life.. Sister Mary Olga shares the Father's passion for drink, she also loves her cigarettes, but of course she tends to clash with the Mother. A lot of the story tells us the ingenious ways she finds to slake her thirst for these vices ie. the four hole outhouse and the crucifix. The descriptions of the townsfolk and their names, Diddles Dinkledorf and Fartley Dinkledorf alone are enough to have you laughing. Put all the zany characters and their foibles together makes for a hilarious story. I found myself laughing out loud at most of the book. You absolutely have to read this book if you enjoy in your face humor. You don't have to be religious or Catholic to enjoy this book!! I highly recommend it.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available in Paperback Format for $13.95 and you can PURCHASE HERE

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is also available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and you can PURCHASE HERE

Humor and Laughter Go Together Perfectly

What is laughter?


Laughter is an actual human physiological response to humor. It is what we find funny, that infectious tickle to our funny bone. It’s that tingling feeling that reflects the more you try to stop laughing, the more you want to burst out in uproarious laughter.

Everyone has different levels of what’s actually humorous to them. In case you were ever wondering, laughter is the vocalized, expiratory of involuntary actions. We actually use fifteen facial muscles to simulate this wonderful release. Our respiratory system becomes a little upset with the half-closing of the larynx so that air intake occurs irregularly, making you gasp with glee.

Of course, we’ve all had the more extreme responses of tears rolling down our face, quick gasping of breath, face turning several shades of crimson, and those boisterous bodily shudders. That’s when we know humor is working positive influences on our body in some many wonderful, ticklish ways.

What’s the theory behind “what’s funny”?

There are three scientific theories behind what we know as comical and witty. The incongruity theory suggests that humor comes about when we see logic and familiarity replaced by things that don’t normally go together. The superiority theory occurs when we laugh and joke based on someone else’s mistakes or stupidity. And finally, the relief theory is the basis for movie makers and writers to give their audiences that relief, or rather comic relief, when the tension is high.

In my two novels, "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort" I’ve tried to incorporate all of these wonderful theories of what can strike your funny bone at any given time. Don’t just take my word for it, find out what zany and uproarious antics Sister Mary Olga will let you in on before you burst out laughing unable to catch your breath.

Blog# 1Author Davis Aujourd'hui
Blog #2 The Funniest Satire Series of the Decade

The above works are available in Paperback Format for $13.95 at Amazon.com and Kindle Format
for $3.99. Check them both out today and you will see you will be laughing in no time.

MEET THE SNATCHASNITCHES

One of my latest and greatest challenges comes in the form of a nasty, er...darling, little girl named Senorita Snatchasnitch. Now! I can’t entirely lay the blame at her barely-opened door. Senorita is only eight years old, but she has parents who should have known better than to sow their seeds of selfishness inorder to have their own little Snatchasnitch.

After all, her father, Abner Snatchasnitch, was in his fifties when she was born. Her mother, Lilliliver Lipstick, wasn’t far behind. They were basically two big children who thought that they owed it to themselves, as well as to the world, to birth themselves a baby.

Lilliliver Lipstick had married Abner, a three-time loser in matrimony, when she had been forty-four. Perhaps she had settled in her marriage to a Snatchasnitch. After all, time had been running out and she had wanted her own little Senorita. She had immediately put Abner on the alert that he would be at her
beck and call whenever the basal thermometer suggested the temperature was just right to bake a baby. Abner hadn’t had any problem with that. His pendulum was always ready to swing to kingdom come whenever his lassie was home.

Now! It’s not that I’m calling Lilliliver a dog. She is attractive in her own sort of way. It’s just that she’s badly in need of makeup tips. You see, Lilliliver basically resembles a little boy who has rouged himself up before smearing on bright red “I love Lucy” lipstick. To disguise the passage of the years, Lilliliver had opted to color her stringy and pale, wheat-colored hair. It’s just that the result of her dye job resembles the convent’s dishwater after dinner. Let’s just say that her grooming efforts aren’t exactly electrifying!

Abner isn’t exactly the material for Gentleman’s Quarterly. His Sherlock Holmes look is a bit dated. It makes him appear as if he’s a contemporary of Diddles Dinkledorf who is nearly twenty years his
senior. It’s lucky for Senorita that she has inherited features which resemble those of their handsome milkman, but you didn’t hear that from me!

Anyhow! Senorita is a little Miss Know-it-all who doesn’t care whose face she rubs it in, including mine. She’s a sassy lassie who has intimidated almost all of the other girls, not to mention some of the boys. Something tells me that our little eight year-old is worldly beyond her years. On her second day in class, I caught her showing Fartley Dinkledorf how to swing his own little pendulum to dinkledorf-dom in the class lavatory during recess. Let’s just say that I ended that play period prematurely!

Author Davis Auhourd'Hui

Book Series:
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"   Book #1

"Babes in Bucksnort"  Book #2

WHY I LOVE WRITING HUMOR

I have always loved to read and to laugh. After all, it's been said that laughter is the best medicine. Some of my favorite humor authors have served to inspire my own writing. I love the zany humor of Carl Hiaasen and Armistead Maupin. Armistead especially inspired me since he, too, wrote a series of humorous books such as I have.

Humor is such a wonderful escape from the cares of life. My life has been filled with many dark moments and I have used humor to chase the darkness away. Hopefully, my readers will also be able to do the same thing with my series of books. The first book is entitled "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". The first sequel is called "Babes in Bucksnort" and that will soon be followed by "Have A Heart".

Writing humorous books is also a wonderful escape for me. Wrapped in the spell of inspiration, I spontaneously spin outrageously funny tales that will make my readers laugh from the beginning to the end of the books. That's my own satisfaction too since I laugh out loud as I write the books. It's a wonderful escape for me and I have never had more fun in my life.

I have been inspired by many humorous anecdotes from my own life. I used to work with mentally-ill clients who had some of the funniest delusions. While my own characters are not delusional, I have drawn from my past experiences with humor in my life to create funny characters.

They have zany names like Fartley Dinkledorf, Lula Mae Bunsaplenty, Muchmore Mayhem, and Jules Jesslike Pappas to name a few. In the case of Jules, he was so named when the nurse held up the little baby for his mother to pick a name. She took one look at the little baby with the large endowment and immediately thought of his father. That's when she exclaimed “Jewels just like Papa's!”

In the case of Fartley Dinkledorf, he is a little boy who takes perverse pleasure in passing gas. Poor Sister Mary Olga! She decides to take a chance and to cast him as the baby Jesus in the annual Christmas pageant. True to form, Fartley lets one rip while in the manger. That's when Sister Mary Olga exclaims, “Fart!” That's also when the Reverend Mother abruptly ends the show.

Priscilla Bunhead is a prudish spinster who wears her hair in a tight little bun. I maintain that it's so tight that her mind is closed shut like a steel trap. She's a busybody who is always digging in the dirt and she finds plenty of that in the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin. When she learns that she's surrounded by gay people, she goes on a crusade to get them evicted from the Snortlands. It makes for wonderful conflict and great humor because she gets hers in the end.

Yes, I love humor and thank God I've got an active imagination! From that place, I am able to conjure up all kinds of hilarious scenarios. As I go along my merry way, I continue to find new inspiration which has led me to write a total of eleven books in the series. My readers won't have to thirst long between books since I have an arsenal of side-splitting laughs available for them. The beautiful thing is that I haven't run out of ideas yet.

I love to entertain and that is what I promise you. I have created books that you won't want to put down and for which you will be craving the next one. From beginning to end, you will find yourself in stitches of laughter. This is my calling and my gift to you.

Enjoy your journey!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Sister Mary Olga Book Series"

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available at Amazon.com in Paperback for $13.95 PURCHASE HERE Kindle Format is available at Amazon.com for $3.99 PURCHASE HERE

"Babes in Bucksnort" is available at Amazon.com in Paperback for $13.95 in Paperback for $13.95 PURCHASE HERE Kindle Format is available at Amazon.com for $3.99 PURCHASE HERE

Mirror Mirror on the Wall… Who is the Funniest One of All?

Stop and look at yourself in the mirror for one entire minute. What do you see?

Does how you look depend on how you feel on any particular day? Some days do you feel better than others? Do you look different when you’ve had a great laugh? Are your cheeks rosy, eyes watering, and there seems to be more of a twinkle in your eye?

Get ready because you’re guaranteed to laugh, chuckle, giggle, and even snort once or twice when you read Babes in Bucksnort, the second installment of the humorous satire Sister Mary Olga Series. It’s hard to believe, but there are just as many laughs and maybe a few more chuckles in the town of Bucksnort with all of the unforgettable, zany characters.

Well… Sister Mary Olga definitely has her hands full with the newest adventure in Bucksnort. She’s back with the Almighty on her side and taking names in the process. It seems that some of Bucksnorts more nasty and nosey types, namely the Bunhead Clan, have decided that there are undesirables in town. There has been some hurtful name calling, like perverts and gay menace. The lines are drawn and residents have been forced to choose their side and their battle for that matter.

If you’ve stopped and really looked at yourself in the mirror, you’ll realize that we are ALL different and unique in so many wonderful ways. Sister Mary Olga reminds all of us that before we start pointing fingers, we must take a good look at ourselves first. That’s what makes the world a very interesting place, even in Bucksnort.

Take a break this summer and pick up a copy of Babes in Bucksnort and get some of that twinkle back in your eye. Better yet, pick up "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and see where it all begins.

After you finish "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitute", keep on laughing with the second book of the Sister Mary Olga Series "Babes in Bucksnort".

Both are available in Paperback for $13.95 at amazon.com and also available in Kindle Format for $3.99

MEET DIMPLES DUFUS AND HER NOT SO DARLING DIMPLES II

Dimples Mayflower Dufus had just celebrated her forty-fifth birthday. It hadn’t turned out to be exactly the kind of celebration that she had been expecting. She had arrived home early on the night of the surprise party which she’d demanded for herself. As a matter of fact, she had actually ended up getting herself a surprise. She had found her husband, Rufus, diddling a purple-headed dingbat on the side of their Olympic-sized swimming poo

The very next day she had filed for a divorce from Rufus Dufus. Then she had prepared for a long battle because she had intended to get every nickel of Rufus’ inheritance. That’s when she had found out what Rufus had been doing with their money whenever he’d gone away on a “business trip.” He’d been wining and dining ladies of the night and he’d been spending his own family’s fortune at the roulette tables.

When it had come out that Rufus had even mortgaged away their villa, Dimples had decided to go home to the mother whom she hadn’t seen in fifteen years in order to claim her rightful inheritance. That’s when she had ditched her married name of Dufus and had packed up the only things that she’d had left. That would have been her extensive jewelry collection and a wardrobe that could have filled a modest home. Then, along with her darling Dimples II, she had headed back home to Bucksnort.

Dimples had been a beautiful little blond-haired baby. Her towhead had changed to dark brown by the time she had turned nineteen and had married for the first time. Ever since those days, she’d had her
hairdresser make a weekly trip to touch up her three-color-process dye job at whatever mansion or villa in which she’d resided .

She'd had her boobs enlarged when she’d been twenty-five. That had helped her snag husband number two, the father of Dimples II. Having been a sun goddess to the extreme, she’d had her first face-lift done at the age of thirty-eight to get rid of her sun crinkles. By that time she’d also needed liposuction to get rid of all the pounds of fat she’d put on.

At least she’d had years of gourmet meals and fine wines to thank for that. Of course, she’d also managed to keep her full service bar restocked on a weekly basis. She’d been even thirstier than I! Unfortunately for Dimples, she hadn’t been thirsty for God. She had only been thirsty for whatever God could have done for her.

Dimples had given herself an early forty-fifth birthday present. That had been another face-lift. Unfortunately for Dimples, Dr. Peter Pimplehead had decided to get a little revenge on the beauties who had spurned him in his past. The delicate and darling Dimples was going to become his scapegoat.

When the bandages had been removed from Dimples’ previously perfect face, she had let out a shriek. Dr. Pimplehead had pulled her skin tighter than that of Joan Rivers.

There wasn’t a thing that could be done. There had been no skin left that could have been used to loosen her perpetual look of amazement. Perhaps, after she’d looked at herself in the mirror many times, she would have found other things to be amazed about. How about God, darling Dimples?

One thing was true about Dimples. She was a delicate-looking creature. It’s just that, in her case, her behavior was more like a “creature” than it was like “delicate.” Unlike her mother, Dimples II hadn’t been as blessed in the beauty department. Her broad and upswept cheekbones cast a downward slant on her wide-set eyes. That little girl also had an extremely large mouth in more ways than one, I can assure you!

Her hair was a wiry, mousy-brown, just like that of her Great Aunt Martha when she had been a young girl. She also seemed to inherit Aunt Martha’s gene for short and stout. Nevertheless her mother, Dimples, believed that her daughter was a beauty. Granted, Dimples II wouldn’t be winning the little girl beauty pageants in which her mother had captured many a crown.

There was one thing that this mother and daughter had in common. They were both a couple of spoiled princesses. It’s just that, for Dimples II, her unfortunate looks only served to become a chip upon her shoulder. It was also a chip that would soon become the same size as the chip on the shoulder of her Great Aunt Martha.

As I was saying, little Dimples II wasn’t so little anymore. She had just turned fourteen and she carried more than ten times that much weight on her broad five-foot frame. God had blessed her in one department; she had a chest that would be likely to give her back problems by the time she would become twenty-five. Given her short stature, her chest appeared even more mammoth. That “little” girl had already discovered how to use that to her advantage. I’m certain we’ll hear more about that once she discovers the budding adolescent boys of Bucksnort!

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui
 
Book Series"
Book #1 "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"
Book #2 "Babes in Bucksnort"

Both are available in Kindle Format for $3.99

Buy Your Ticket for Extreme Fun and Take the Plunge!

“This is Sister Mary Olga Fortitude coming to you. Now class! My message to you today is about miracles. God knows that He has been working miracles in the lives of His babes in Bucksnort. In fact, He is working miracles in each and every one of your lives. All you haved to o is open your eyes and believe. Then you will see the wonders that are happening around you each and every day.”

Sister Mary Olga has more wisdom and insight into everyday things in my two books, The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude and in Babes Bucksnort. She never ceases to amaze us by reminding us about the little things that are so important in life. Take a page from her hilarious book and find out what happens to the citizens in Bucksnort.

Step back for a moment from your busy day, close your eyes, and think about the most fun you’ve ever had. It can be anything at anytime in your life. It can be when you were a child or maybe something funny that happened to you just last week. Now, remember that wonderful feeling of fun and how it made you feel, hold it in your mind, really feel it in your body with all your being, and savor it. I bet you’re smiling right now.

Make a conscious effort to incorporate fun and laughter into your life everyday. I guarantee the quality of your life will improve and you’ll begin to enjoy everything about what life really has to offer.

A simple way to gain fulfillment in your life is by reading a funny book. There have been scientific studies about all of the positive effects lighthearted humor and laughter has on the body and mind. Try sharing your fun with others by starting a book group and make sure that you’ve included a few humor books to round out the reading choices.

Pick up a copy of Babes in Bucksnort today and begin your extreme fun by taking the plunge!

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortidue" appears in paperback for $13.95 BUY HERE
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" also appears in Kindle Format for $3.99 BUY

"Babes in Bucksnort" available in Paperback for $13.95 BUY HERE
"Babes in Bucksnort" also appears in Kindle format for $3.99  BUY HERE

A Book and a Chat with Davis Aujourd'hui on Blogtalkradio

If you missed the show you can click on link to listen:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/across-the-pond/2011/07/16/a-book-and-a-chat-with-davis-aujourdhui

Davis Aujourd'hui outrageously funny book entitled “The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". With a title lihke that you know there are bound to be plenty of laughs during the show. I hope we also learn about his two under production books "Babes in Bucksnort" will be the next book in the series to be published followed by “Have A Heart.”


A former social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years. Davis developed the characters within his books in order to entertain a colleague of his using the gift of humor.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortute"
Paperback Book: $13.95 Purchase here
Kindle Format: $3.99 Purchase here

"Babes in Bucksnort"
Paperback Book: $13.95  Purchase here
Kindle Format: $3.99  Purchase here
Do not forget you can send a Kindle as a gift to anyone that has an email address!

A Book and a Chat with Davis Aujourd'hui - Keep Saturday July 16, 2011 Open

RADIO SHOW:

 “A Book and a Chat with Davis Aujourd'hui”

Saturday July 16th – 11:00am EST

Listeners can call to speak directly to Author Davis Aujourd'hui 347- 237-5398

Location: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Across-the-Pond

Barry Eva (Storyheart)

Author of "Across the Pond"

Radio Blog: http://abookandachat.blogspot.com
Humor Blog: http://laughithoughtmytrouserswouldneverdry.blogspot.com/
Across the Pond Blog: http://acrossthepond-storyheart.blogspot.com
Blog Talk Radio Show: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Across-the-Pond
Book Site: http://across-t-pond.com/

Fartley Dinkledorf Meets The Wrath of Lula Mae Bunsaplenty

Now! Poor Fartley didn’t quite make it to home base on the day of his unexpected laxative treatment. As he ran along Dinkledorf Drive, he realized that he couldn’t make it the distance from the one last house before he reached home. God was calling to him in the most urgent and fundamental manner. He ran to the backyard of his next-door neighbor’s, Jules, home and he made a beeline for the bushes in front of Jules’ bedroom window.

It was late in the morning and Lula Mae Bunsaplenty had finally made it out of her bed. At the very moment that she was pulling up the window shade, Fartley was pulling his pants down. She let out a “harrumph!” Then she let out a bellow louder than Bessie the cow when she saw that little boy coating the bushes in a most repulsive manner.

Lula Mae took Fartley’s act very personally. She made her own beeline to the backdoor. She was especially cranky since she hadn’t had her fix of her morning coffee. That little brat wasn’t going to get away with giving Lula Mae a brown mooning to soil her morning! Uh-unh!

Poor Fartley was just about to pull up his pants as Lula Mae was rounding the corner. On her way outside she’d managed to grab a big rubber spatula from the kitchen. Before Fartley knew what was going to happen, Lula Mae began to thwack his chocolate-coated hiney with an ungodly force. Let’s face it, Lula Mae had plenty of momentum since her hefty arms were the size of whole hams!

Fartley wasn’t used to getting a thrashing and his fanny had already suffered plenty of abuse that morning. The little boy yanked up his pants and he went running home, crying a river of tears following his escape from the wrath of Lula Mae. As he did so, Lula Mae let out a self-satisfied

“Mmm....hmmm!” Then she headed back into her house to get herself perking with some cafe au lait even though she no longer required it for her morning jolt. She was wide awake now.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Sister Mary Olga Book Series:
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1) Kindle $3.99
"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2) Kindle $3.99

New- "Putting the Pieces Together" Kindle $2.99

Best Friends Forever

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking
a lone in the light."
- Helen Keller

What attracts us to other people in hopes of fulfilling and long-lasting friendship? Do we seek out others that are similar or adventurously different? And why do we seem to need at least one good friend that will stand the test of time?

Friends are special individuals that are different, similar, ordinary, and even extraordinary. Friends teach us to be tolerant about differences through learning and experiences, which I like to call uniqueness. That’s what makes life worth living and everyday a little bit brighter.

It has been said that if we have one true friend in our lifetime that we are extremely lucky. If you think back to when we first entered school in preschool or kindergarten, there is usually a person who was our best friend. It was someone that we told all our secrets to and shared a great deal of time with during school. We actually thought that this person would be with us forever. In some instances this may be the case, but most likely it will end up being a person that we went to school with at one time and we won’t ever see again.

What happens when that friend turns out to be not who we thought they were?

In my newest book in the Sister Mary Olga series, "Babes in Bucksnort", there’s a very nosey busybody by the name of Priscilla Bunhead. She rampages through Bucksnort on a crusade to stamp out the evils in her mind of “gay menace” and other "undesirables". She even hornswaggles an unsuspecting citizen, Lilliliver Lipstick, to peddle pamphlets that warns the town of what ills lurk within its city limits.

It is Priscilla Bunhead’s hope to find the scared people that reside in Bucksnort that are vulnerable to practicing prejudice and will go along with her cause. What will the townspeople in Bucksnort have in store for them?

Will the true meaning of friendship prevail after all?

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1

"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2

THE PRESENT MOMENT

You've heard it said that today is the first day of your life. The truth of the matter is that the present moment is all you ever have. The past is a canceled check and the future is not guaranteed. Therefore it does no good to ruminate over what has been. Likewise, it serves no purpose to worry about the future. The important thing is to make the most of today, one moment at a time.

The best way to do this is to focus on what is positive in your life and to follow your bliss. Never allow anything to take you from your joy. When you're feeling out of touch with your joy, experience the feeling and then let it go. Then keep climbing the rungs of the ladder until you return to your joy.

Practice awareness of your life experience. This will ensure that you will remain in that place of joy. This way you will not be an observer of life. Instead, you will be a participant. Life is meant to be experienced. It is all about allowing it to flow and unfold.

Resistance is never the answer. If you are experiencing something you don't want, you will automatically begin to reach for that which you do want. Do not focus on what you don't have. Instead, focus on what is. Be grateful for all you have. This will begin to attract the abundance you seek.

Use affirmations as a means to move you forward. Put out what you want to possess and claim it as if you had it now. The universe responds to your vibrations. When you put forward a positive, you will begin to attract it to you. Do not allow negatives to repeat themselves. If you remain unconscious and focus on lack, you will attract that into your experience.

It is all a matter of what you are feeling that will bring you to a better place. As long as you feel “good,” more good will come your way. Keep alert. This way you will stay in the present. This way you will not allow anything that is unconscious to manifest.

Keep your ego in check. That is where all trouble lies. It will attract conflict. Stay in touch with your spirit of joy. This, too, will keep you present.

It's not to say that unpleasant experiences may not develop in your life. This is part of the human experience. Choose not to react to them. Take whatever positive action you can in order not to allow life to drag you down.

Practice enthusiasm. Enjoy the present and look forward to what is coming your way. The present you will give yourself is that which you seek. This is all God wants for you. Always remember, you deserve it!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Book Series:

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1

"Babes in Bucksnort"

Both are available in Paperback and Kindle Version. Kindle's are $3.99

MEET DR. WALLY WACKY-WACKO

Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko is the little hamlet of Bucksnort, Wisconsin's only psychiatrist. He doesn't exactly fit the profile and could probably use a good shrink wrap himself. He's good at pushing pills and he also is a firm believer in self-medicating. He is frequently taking a trip somewhere within the recesses of his mind. He loves his potent pot and his psychedelic mushrooms.

He's a middle-aged man who still looks like a little boy. He has eyes as big as saucers. He customarily dresses in faded blue jeans and a fraying plaid flannel shirt. When he first meets a new patient, he stands before them in a confused daze with his jaw open as if he is ready to swallow a fly. He will absentmindedly grab onto his long, curly, salt and pepper hair which is tied back in a ponytail as if it is a security blanket. God only knows, Dr. Wally dispenses security at a price! That can sometimes result in insanity.

Take the case of Sister Eileen McGillicutty. Our good sister was feeling mighty blue when she first called upon the “good doctor.” After considering her situation in the haze of a marijuana high, Dr. Wally opened his desk drawer and he pulled out three bottles. Then he emptied the contents onto his desk whereupon half of the pills fell onto the floor.

Bending over, he picked up each and every one of those multi-colored pills which seemed to mesmerize him. Finally he was ready to continue. He began to pile the pills into an empty bottle and said, “I want you to take each of these pills three times a day. You should be back to yourself in no time!”

When the next evening rolled around, Sister Eileen was dumbly seated before her bowl of steaming stew. Her eyes looked like a couple of glazed donuts. She looked as if she was ready to fall off her seat. She dumbly tried to raise each spoonful of stew into her mouth, but every second spoonful hit her chin where it dribbled down onto her habit. Then her eyes began to close.

Her head began to slowly circle and, just as she had completed the first full revolution, her face went kerplunk right into her steaming bowl. As another sister pulled her head out of the stew, Sister Eileen had a carrot firmly wedged into one of her nostrils and her mouth had a potato stuffed into it. Enough was enough!

That's when Sister Mary Olga took matters into her own hands. She marched the blister-faced Sister Eileen right back to Dr. Wally's. This time he gave her a happy pill. The results were certainly nothing short of spectacular. It wasn’t long before Sister Eileen was swinging from the rafters. She soon announced that she was the Virgin Mary, come down from heaven in order to save the heathens. It was time for her to go back to Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko again. God only knows what he would do next!

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui
Blog#2
Facbook Like Page

Book Series:
Book 1 -"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" 
Book 2 - "Babes is Bucksnort"

One of Sister Mary Olga's Drinking Partners Amand Ann Adult

Amanda Ann Adult was the convent's once-a-week baker. She was also a local radio celebrity. On her show, she would teach all of the Snortland's aspiring cooks how to make delicious meals for their families. Just like me, she would always apply herself to her tasks with some healthy nips of heavenly spirits. While bourbon was my spirit of choice, Amanda Ann preferred vodka.

On this particular evening, I found her in the convent's kitchen where I was sure to find some intoxicating refreshments on hand. As I've already said, I wasn’t the only thirsty soul in Bucksnort.
I breezed into the kitchen where I found Amanda Ann with her head bent over an open oven. “Shit!” she exclaimed.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

She quickly whirled around like a top. Even so, not so much as a single hair on her lacquered head fell out of place as she whirled around and shouted, “I forgot to put the yeast into the bread dough! Now I’ve got to start all over from scratch!”

“Oh dear!” I muttered. “It sounds as if this calls for a drink.”

“You’ve got that damn right, Sister!” she exclaimed. Then she whirled around in another dizzying circle as she zeroed in on her quarry. That would have been her big bottle of vodka. She marched over to the counter with a single-minded purpose and she snatched up that bottle from which she poured herself a generous glass.

After taking a couple of long gulps, she turned to me and asked, “Would you care to join me?”

“Don’t mind if I do!” I chirped with a broad smile.

“You could have fooled me!” she proclaimed with a sarcastic sneer. Then she took another long swallow from her glass before she finally produced a smile. “Now that’s better!” she exclaimed. “So what are you waiting for? Get yourself a glass before I drain this bottle!”

That was all it took to propel me into action. I grabbed a tall tumbler from the kitchen cupboard and I held it out before her while I waited for her to fill it to the rim. Then I took my own long, greedy gulp before I asked her what I thought might be an innocent question. “So,” I said. “How’s your brother, Jules?”

“Pussy-whipped, that’s what!” exclaimed his Caucasian sister. I didn’t quite catch her meaning, but I wasn’t going to have to wait long for an explanation. “As to the ‘how’ part of your question, it has to do with the cow who’s been freeloading off him since last Thanksgiving.”

It didn’t take much imagination to guess that she was talking about Lula Mae Bunsaplenty. “Now, Amanda Ann,” I counseled her as she started to mix the ingredients for a new batch of bread dough. “Surely you’re not making a judgment!”

“I damn well am and I don’t care!” she barked back as she took a final slug of her vodka. “That fat, lazy, black-assed floozy thinks she’s got my brother wrapped around her pudgy pinky finger! I told him that I’d set a roasted turkey on his front porch. Then all he’d have to do would be to wait for Miss High and Mighty to catch a whiff of it. She’d wag that big tail of hers faster than a bitch in heat in order to get out there and grab herself a turkey leg!”

“That’s when Jules would only need to throw out her suitcase and car keys after her, slam the door shut, and turn the bolt. I’m sure that’s all it would take to get that big cow to jump into her Cadillac and hightail it out of town in a huff. Of course, I’d never see my roasting pan again, but that would be a small price to pay in order to get rid of her!”

“What would make you say a thing like that?” I exclaimed. “Surely Lula Mae’s got some redeeming features!”

“The only redeeming features that broad’s got are those two huge jugs that she likes to jiggle in front of my brother’s nose! That only turns his legs into Jello. The next thing you know, he’s falling down onto his bed and getting straddled by a cow! It’s just too bad that he can’t get a gallon or two of milk out of it for all of his efforts!”

“Amanda Ann!” I exclaimed as I took a slug out of my own glass. “What makes you think that Jules would want to get rid of her?”

“He’s got rocks in his head if he doesn’t want to!” she proclaimed as she poured herself another tall glass. “That woman’s been after his money and now she’s gone and sent him to a shrink!”

“Oh!” I murmured as I thought of Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko. “I didn’t realize that it had come to that!”

“I call it a crying shame! After all, my brother is eighty-five years-old and he’s no weakling! He’s had to fight prejudice and adversity most of his life as a man of color. Now, when he should be able to enjoy some peace during his golden years, more adversity has come back to him in the form of a black cow.”

I could see that I wasn’t going to get anywhere with Amanda Ann. Her drinks were only fueling the fire and mine were only beginning to cloud my sense of clarity. All I could think of to say was, “Well, as you say, he is a grown man. I’m sure he’ll sort it out! What you might want to remember is that things
always work themselves out in the end.”

“That’s exactly the problem!” she declared. “That woman always uses her end to work Jules around her pinky finger!” With that said, she shook her head violently. Once again, I noticed that not a hair on
her lacquered head moved out of place. I could also see that I wasn’t about to change her thinking. I’d have to leave that one to God.

For now, I decided I’d spent more than enough of my breath. I’d also had enough to drink. What I really wanted was a Marlboro and to offer up a prayer. Perhaps that would direct my breath and my thoughts in a more positive fashion.

I simply shrugged my shoulders and I gave Amanda Ann a smile of resignation. She returned my smile with a scowl. Then I bid her a good afternoon and I walked out of the kitchen as I heard her swearing up a blue streak. Apparently she'd forgotten to put the yeast into her new batch of bread dough.

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui

Sister Mary Olga Book Series:
Book #1 "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"
Book #2 Just Released - "Babes in Bucksort"

Available in Paperback and Kindle Format ($3.99)