A CONVERSATION BETWEEN SISTER MARY OLGA & PRISCILLA BUNHEAD

Sister Mary Olga:

“Just wait one minute while I have a deliciously holy snort of bourbon and light up a Marlboro. Oh? What's that?... I'm on the radio!... Goodness Gravy! Forgive me, my dears. This is Sister Mary Olga Fortitude coming to you. Now! I've heard that some of you are interested in hearing about my misadventures. That's all well and good as long as you don't spread any malicious gossip. After all, there's nothing very holy about that!

Suffice it to say that life is happening in the sleepy little hamlet of Bucksnort, Wisconsin in just the same manner as everywhere else. It's just that most of you tend to keep your untidy little secrets to yourself. Ahem! Excuse me for just a moment while I have another refreshing drink of what I prefer to call heavenly spirits. Ah! That's much better!
Well! Thanks to a busybody named Priscilla Bunhead, nobody's business in the Snortlands of Wisconsin remains their own for very long. Priscilla is the president of an organization called BUN. That stands for Bunheads Unite Now. Why, she's recruited the most vulnerable female souls of Bucksnort who prefer to have someone else do their thinking for them. Just like Priscilla, her fellow bunheads all wear their hair in little buns at the back of their heads. This only serves to squeeze their little brains so tightly that they couldn't think for themselves even if they wanted to.”

(Suddenly there is a shrill voice in the background.)Priscilla Bunhead:
“Just wait one damn moment, you sanctimonious sister! We bunheads happen to practice human decency contrary to the likes of you and that former whore of your reverend mother, not to mention the perverts on Dinkledorf Drive. How would you like to live next to a half-Negro bastard like Jules Jesslike Pappas and his fat floozy, Lula Mae Bunsaplenty, while I have a couple of lesbos living on the other side of my unhappy home?

To make matters even worse, I think there's a homo or two on the block! Then there's that 105 year-old peeping Tom, Poopsy Dinkledorf, who lives across the street! The only comfort I have about this revolting situation is that I know they're all going straight to hell when they die. In the meantime, I'll get my satisfaction by doing everything in my power to make their lives as miserable as possible! Maybe that will convince them to get the hell out of Bucksnort!”
Sister Mary Olga:

“Ahem! (followed by a whisper to the audience) - Hang on folks while I just have another little snort to calm my nerves. - It seems to me that you could benefit from one of my classes in Advanced Holiness. After all, as the good book says, 'Judge not, lest ye be judged.'”
Priscilla Bunhead:

“I'll be damned if I'll ever set my foot on the grounds of a Catholic convent! I happen to be a good Baptist so don't think that you're going to preach to me! After all, since you're always siding with the perverts, you'll also be going straight to hell. I just hope the readers of your books don't get suckered in by your so-called lessons in holiness. As the saying goes, 'Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing!'”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Now, now, my dear! Just be careful when you cast a judgment. After all, we're all only looking into a mirror at ourselves whenever we do that.”
Priscilla Bunhead:

“Poppycock, Mary Olga! I'm just here to let your listeners know that, if they read your books, they'll probably go straight to hell too. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn! They'll only have themselves to blame. At least I've done them the favor of warning them.”
Sister Mary Olga:


“Ahem! I'm sure you think you're doing them a kindness. Perhaps it would be better if you let them judge that for themselves. After all, all of God's children deserve a chance to have a good laugh and, (as Sister Mary Olga lets go of a belly laugh) God forgive me, you've just done that for me. Bless you, my dear.”
Priscilla Bunhead:


“You'd better wake up and smell the coffee before it's too late! As for me, I'm getting the hell out of here because your homo cowboy chef is coming this way with a tray of cookies. If you know what's good for you, I wouldn't eat one of those. After all, you never know where his hands might have been!” (sound of running footsteps)
Sister Mary Olga:


“Sigh! Hi Randy!”
Randy Cowboy:


“Hey, Sister, who was that?”


Sister Mary Olga:


“Honey, you don't want to know! When I used to believe in them, I might have called her a demon. Instead I realize she's just a scared little girl. Now! Let's change to a gayer note and let me have one of those cookies! They look scrumptious!”

Start your day off with some laughter and purchase a copy of the book today of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Hope you enjoy!

Best Friends Forever

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking
a lone in the light."
- Helen Keller

What attracts us to other people in hopes of fulfilling and long-lasting friendship? Do we seek out others that are similar or adventurously different? And why do we seem to need at least one good friend that will stand the test of time?

Friends are special individuals that are different, similar, ordinary, and even extraordinary. Friends teach us to be tolerant about differences through learning and experiences, which I like to call uniqueness. That’s what makes life worth living and everyday a little bit brighter.

It has been said that if we have one true friend in our lifetime that we are extremely lucky. If you think back to when we first entered school in preschool or kindergarten, there is usually a person who was our best friend. It was someone that we told all our secrets to and shared a great deal of time with during school. We actually thought that this person would be with us forever. In some instances this may be the case, but most likely it will end up being a person that we went to school with at one time and we won’t ever see again.

What happens when that friend turns out to be not who we thought they were?

In my newest book in the Sister Mary Olga series, "Babes in Bucksnort", there’s a very nosey busybody by the name of Priscilla Bunhead. She rampages through Bucksnort on a crusade to stamp out the evils in her mind of “gay menace” and other "undesirables". She even hornswaggles an unsuspecting citizen, Lilliliver Lipstick, to peddle pamphlets that warns the town of what ills lurk within its city limits.

It is Priscilla Bunhead’s hope to find the scared people that reside in Bucksnort that are vulnerable to practicing prejudice and will go along with her cause. What will the townspeople in Bucksnort have in store for them?

Will the true meaning of friendship prevail after all?

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1

"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2

Now You Can Purchase "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude in ebook Format!

Purchase the ebook "The Misadventure of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" in
ebook format for $4.50 now!!!

Dancing to a Different Beat!

Are there true benefits of being an individual and not wanting to be just like everyone else?

The simple and most straightforward answer is to embrace all of the wonderful differences and diversities that surround you with kindness, understanding, and love. Just be yourself.

“Two things are bad for the heart -- running up stairs and running down people.”
Bernard M. Baruch

“A weed is but an unloved flower.”
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

It has been said that an emotionally healthy person feels as if they add a certain amount of value to their environment. The benefit is that other people will perceive them as being more valuable as well. Uniqueness and independence seem to go hand in hand.

In my two satire novels, The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude and Babes in Bucksnort, my characters are definitely individuals. They offer insight into our world today along with well-placed laughs and chuckles for an afternoon of fun entertainment.

Confidence is essential and helps you to stand out, but it’s more important to have a sense of humility and willingness to learn from yourself as well as others. Sister Mary Olga would be the first to tell you to focus on the strengths, not weaknesses of others. She would want you to increase your awareness and learn as much as you can about all the diversity and wonderful people around you.

With the positive aspect of confidence, there must a delicate balance against arrogance, jealously, and the “I” ness that it can transpire. Have the confidence to do what you want to do, but not at the price of others.

I can hear Sister Mary Olga telling you not to always go with the flow, but rather do something different. Dancing to a different beat can have many amazing gifts that will catch on to everyone one around you.

“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
Mother Teresa

“Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

PRISCILLA BUNHEAD'S SECRET EXPOSED

The nasty, prudish Priscilla Bunhead from "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" who is always judging people by outside appearances had her own secret past. You see, she was a fraud. Priscilla wasn't blessed with an ample bosom and she was ashamed. This led her to masquerade by stuffing her bra with tissue paper so that she would appear to be the voluptuous young woman she was not.

Unfortunately for Priscilla, she had a habit of making enemies out of people. When it came to her relationship with the irascible Martha Mayhem, she made a big mistake. While Martha was grounded after engaging in behavior unbecoming to a Baptist with her boyfriend Crabby Crandall, Priscilla stole Crabby away from her. That's when Martha decided it was time to get revenge.

Martha happened to know about Priscilla's private pleasures. Priscilla's family was the only one on Dinkledorf Drive to own a swimming pool. It also had a Jacuzzi with delightfully pulsating jets. Every dark night during the summer, Priscilla could be found perfectly positioned under those jets where she pulsated to a rhythm that rocked her world.

One moonlit night, Martha invited the teenage boys of Bucksnort to Prissy's pool for a private show. All the of boys were anxious to feast their eyes upon the big boobies that Priscilla didn't possess. As Priscilla was in the throes of ecstasy, the boys were breathlessly waiting in the bushes around the pool. Meanwhile, Martha stole around the side of the house where she threw on the spotlight to illuminate the poolside show.

The boys let out a shout of disappointment when they realized that Prissy's pom poms were nothing more than pegs. That's when Priscilla let out a scream that could be heard all the way to the convent. Like the drowned rat that she was, she went running off into the night in order to hide her secret shame. Unfortunately for Priscilla, that was also the end of her relationship with Crabby Crandall.

Martha had her sweet revenge. What made it even sweeter was that Priscilla was never courted by another. Her fate was to grow up to become a sourpuss of an old maid.

This is just one of the many hilarious tales contained within Misadventures. If you're looking for a bellyful of laughs, click on the link to Amazon.com so that you can obtain your own copy. In the meantime, remember that outside appearances aren't always what they seem.