WHAT AM I DOING NOW?

Author Davs Aujourd'hui
The life of an author is an interesting one. For the first four years I was writing my series, I pumped out one book after another. After the first two became published, I had another challenge on my hands. I had to market "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort". One of the primary ways I did this was to write these articles for my blogs. I wrote a series of articles about my books and facets of my personal life.

In between writing articles and doing interviews, I have had periods of inspiration when I have written other books. I have now completed eleven books in the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series. I have also written an e-book about my personal recovery on many fronts. Recently, I completed a reincarnational romance about a couple that travels through three lifetimes together.

I have also been hard at work editing my many books. This is not an easy chore. While the content has been excellent, it is so easy to make minor mistakes which are difficult to pick out. It's much better to have someone else do the editing.

I also devote a lot of time to personal healing. Following a lifetime filled with much despair and harmful behaviors, I have found help through therapy and twelve-step programs. This has taken me on a spiritual odyssey in which I have made many important self-discoveries which I freely share with my readers in my e-book, Putting the Pieces Together, and in my author blog.

My creativity and my spirituality have been my most important outlets. I interject many of my own spiritual awakenings in my books. It is my hope that it will help others who are on a spiritual journey.

I belong to a transdenominational church that embraces the sacred truths of all religions. Yet it is primarily based upon the teachings of Jesus. It is a church that practices affirmation and practical application of spiritual principles that are taught there.

I also am a student of the Course in Miracles. It is a course that was channeled by a psychologist who realized she was channeling correct teachings of Jesus. The basic premise is that we are on a journey to discover our spirits and to let go of our egos. In so doing, we will find our pathway back to peace, joy and love.

It is my desire to pass on the joy of laughter to you in my books. Perhaps you may also discover a piece of yourself in my characters. Just be gentle with yourself and prepare to laugh.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

SOMETHING GOOD YOUR WAY COMES

I am the author of a series of books, designed to tickle your funny bone. What could be more precious than the gift of laughter? This is what I offer to you, sprinkled with a dose of good loving.

My irreverent nun, Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, spins tales of the delightfully zany characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin. She does so while taking snorts of bourbon and sending smoke signals up to God from her trustworthy Marlboros. Sister Mary Olga is a character! So are the other personalities contained within my books.

You'll meet the Reverend Mother who is a reformed prostitute. You'll meet the gay cowboy chef who is a self-described sex maniac. You'll meet the town prude and busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, who is always looking for a dose of dirt to dish up. She finds plenty of that among the residents of Dinkledorf Drive.

Start your journey with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Then continue to laugh your pants off with "Babes in Bucksnort". My outrageous characters are meant to purely entertain, though you will encounter nuggets of wisdom along the way.

The characters are as diverse as all the colors of the rainbow. Their names are names you've never heard of before. There are Lula Mae Bunsaplenty and Jules Jesslike Pappas. There are Baby Burpee and Junior Rathbone. There are Lilliliver Lipstick and her timid husband, Abner Snatchasnitch. Their behaviors will keep you in stitches of laughter, though they might just illuminate you to your own behaviors that could use a tweak in a more positive direction.


Read the rave reviews on Amazon.com where you can also purchase the books. They are now available in both paperback and Kindle format. Buy them both and get free shipping and handling.

Just bring along your sense of humor and prepare yourself for non-stop laughs.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

EXCERPT FROM BABES IN BUCKSNORT

Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko had the unfortunate habit of not keeping good track of his appointments. He didn't have a secretary and the truth of the matter was that he couldn't very well afford one. He didn't exactly have a thriving practice.

Dr. Wally had just finished eating a very potent marijuana brownie for breakfast when the doorbell rang. He didn't have a clue as to who would be calling on him on his day off. He exclaimed out loud to himself, “Whoa! I'd better get my act together!” Then he went to answer the door.

When he opened the door, there before him stood Sister Eileen and Sister Samantha. His eyes bugged out from behind his gold-rimmed granny glasses when he saw them standing there in their black habits. That's when he exclaimed, “What a rush!”

Now! Sister Samantha was rather worldly from her former days, having lived in a gay man's world where she'd been a successful female impersonator. She knew exactly what Dr. Wally had been up to, but she chose to respond by saying, “Yes indeed! We need help immediately!”

The middle-aged man who still looked like a little boy had eyes as big as saucers. He was dressed in faded blue jeans and a fraying plaid flannel shirt. He simply stood before them in a confused daze. He grabbed onto his long, curly, salt and pepper hair that was tied back in a ponytail. For a moment he just stared at them as if he was going to say, “Duh.” Then he took a dizzying step backward as he said, “Ah yes! Won't you come in?”

They entered his home and they followed him into his office which looked as if it hadn't been dusted in two months. His desk was buried beneath piles of paper. The same was the case with a long black leather couch which lay beside a bookshelf that appeared as if it could topple over at any moment. If that would have become the case, it would have pulled down a network of cobwebs just before it would have soundly squished Sister Eileen if she was to have lain upon it.

Dr. Wally just stood in the middle of the room as if he was spellbound. Then he went to the couch and he unceremoniously swept the stacks of paper onto the floor. Finally he turned and gave them an impish smile as he said, “I'm not used to treating two people at the same time. I'm afraid that you'll just have to lie side by side.”

Now Sister Samantha wasn't one to mince words. She declared, “Are you out of your mind? Nuns aren't allowed to lie down together! God only knows where that could lead us! Besides, I'm not the one who needs help! I'll just sit in a chair.”

Then Sister Samantha strolled over to a nearby seat where she picked up a pile of papers. She set them down on the floor as a cloud of dust whirled out of that pile, nearly choking her in the process. As Sister Samantha took her seat, Sister Eileen tried to make her way over the disarray of papers beside the couch without falling. Then she lay down while the doctor sat behind his cluttered desk where he tried to peer at her over the piles of paper that were on it.

“So,” he began. “Just exactly what is the problem?”

Poor Sister Eileen couldn't even see the doctor so Sister Samantha decided to take the bull by the horns. She said, “Sister Eileen hasn't been herself lately. The poor woman can barely put a sentence together and, when she does, she only begins to cry.”

“Ah!” exclaimed the doctor. “I know exactly what to do!” With that said, he fumbled around within his desk drawer and he pulled out three bottles. Then he emptied the contents onto his desk whereupon half of the pills fell onto the floor. “Oops!” he said. Bending over, he picked up the pills one at a time. All the while, each and every one of those pills seemed to mesmerize him. Finally he was ready to continue. “Okay,” he said as he began to pile the pills into an empty bottle. “I want you to take each of these pills three times a day. You should be back to yourself in no time!”

“But doctor,” interjected Sister Samantha. “How's she going to be able to tell the pills apart if they're all in the same bottle?”

“Oh, that's easy,” replied the doctor who held up the bottle for Sister Samantha's inspection. “Each of the pills is a different color.” Then he smiled to himself as he continued to stare at the pills before he exclaimed, “Aren't they beautiful!” Sister Samantha simply rolled her eyes.

Now it was time to go. Poor Sister Eileen struggled to get off the couch while Sister Samantha reached for the bottle. As they made their way out of the shamble of the doctor's office, he opened another desk drawer. With a big smile of anticipation upon his face he pulled out another brownie. He'd need to calm his nerves in case another patient showed up later that day.

When the next evening rolled around, I wondered where Sister Eileen could have been. Randy Cowboy had already dished us up steaming bowls of stew and she was nowhere to be seen. Then I noticed the good sister staggering into the room. Her eyes looked like a couple of glazed donuts while she headed for her seat as if she was sleepwalking. I raised my eyebrows as she took her seat. She nearly fell right off it and onto the floor.

The blessing was offered and I began to eat, but I rarely took my eyes off Sister Eileen. She dumbly tried to raise each spoonful of stew into her mouth, but every second spoonful hit her chin where it dribbled down onto her habit. As I continued to watch, her eyes began to close. That's when I was about to witness the final effects of Dr. Wally's pills. Her head began to slowly circle and, just as she had completed the first full revolution, her face went kerplunk right into her steaming bowl.

I raced from my seat and I pulled her head out of the stew. She had a carrot firmly wedged into one of her nostrils and her mouth had a potato stuffed into it. Enough was enough! It was time for action and this time I would be the one who would accompany her to the good doctor.

The following day I arrived on Dr. Wally's doorstep with a blister-faced Sister Eileen. When the doctor finally answered the door, he took one look at Sister Eileen and he said, “Whoa!”

“Exactly!” I declared. “And the woe shall be unto you if you don't give this sister the right pill!”
“Oh!” he said with eyeballs that were nearly popping out of his head. “Maybe she would like a pretty pink pill. I call it a happy pill.”

I gave him a questioning look before I replied, “That's what we sent her here for the first time. Now just give us the pill and we'll be on our way!”

Well! It wasn't long before Sister Eileen would be swinging from the rafters. She soon announced that she was the Virgin Mary, come down from heaven in order to save the heathens. It was time to go back to Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko again. That's when Dr. Wally decided that poor Sister Eileen was a manic-depressive and he put her on yet another medication. Shrinkaholics! What would be next?


Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"Babes in Bucksnort" is available in Paperback for $13.95  and can be purchased here!!!
Also, available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and can be purchased here!!!!!

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!

Do you remember the section of the Reader's Digest by that name? Such is indeed the case! Without giving expression to the joy within you, you won't experience the fullness of life which is intended for all of us.

As an adult, you can become consumed by your worries and the busyness of life. In so doing, you're missing out on your innate joy. I've heard it said that children laugh hundreds of times per day. On the contrary, adults only laugh about six times per day. Wouldn't you say it's time to change that? How can you do this?

You can begin by finding humor within situations that you didn't used to find so funny. Perspective gives you an advantage that you didn't always find during those past moments. You can share a joke with a friend. You can go to a funny movie or read a funny book. With the latter choice, I can offer you a vehicle for side-splitting laughter.

I am the author of a series of hilarious books that will provide you an escape into a journey of unbridled joy. In them, you will take a trip to the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin where you'll meet a nun you are not likely to forget.


Sister Mary Olga Fortitude enjoys tipping a bottle of bourbon while she puffs away on her Marlboros. She spins funny tales about the folks on Dinkledorf Drive that you will never forget. You'll meet the Reverend Mother who was a former prostitute. You'll meet the handsome gay cowboy who is a chef at the convent.

You'll meet the ornery prude, Priscilla Bunhead, who is always digging in the dirt. Trust me, she finds plenty of that among her neighbors. You'll meet the irascible Martha Mayhem who always finds a bone to pick with her neighbors. You'll even meet a nun who is really a man. Along with them, you'll meet a host of deliciously zany characters that will keep you laughing in stitches.

Start out your journey with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Have no fear, the journey won't end there. You'll want to devour the next book, "Babes in Bucksnort", as soon as you've finished the first.

The good news is that both books are available for sale on Amazon.com. There, you will get free shipping and handling if you order both of them at the same time. They are also available in Kindle format where you will save more than three times over the cost of the paperbacks. (Kindles are $3.99)


The books are quick reads. You can easily polish off one on a lazy rainy afternoon. Curl up on your comfy sofa and get ready to laugh. I guarantee you'll be ready to delve into the next one at your next earliest opportunity.

The other good news is that I have polished off nine other books in the series. You will soon be able to look forward to reading Have A Heart. In it, you will discover the nasty little secret of the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. You will also meet a free spirit named Cherie Amour who channels spiritual truths that rival those of Sister Mary Olga.

Yes, indeed! Get ready to laugh and find your way back to your joy. Then share that joy with your friends. Everyone needs a good laugh. Pass it on and your own joy will be multiplied.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

How Jules Jesslike Pappas Got His Name by author David Aujourd’hui

Part1 from Literal Exposure

What’s in a name? After all, every name has its own special meaning. It’s just that for the characters in "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", the meanings of their names tend to have a humorous tale. Sometimes the meaning of those names is obvious as in the case of Fartley Dinkledorf. He is a flatulent child who takes great and perverse pleasure in passing gas. Sometimes it’s not so obvious as in the case of Jules Jesslike Pappas. Let me tell you the tale behind his name.

Jules’ mother was a simple-minded woman who had a rather impulsive nature. I prefer to call her a free spirit, though some of the characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin might be inclined to judge her. The prudish Priscilla Bunhead would be a case in point.

Irregardless, Mae I. Doomutch was a woman who embraced her sexuality. As a child Mae would always be asking the question, “May I do this or that?” As an adult, she would respond with a resounding “Yes!”

Mae was indeed doing much on the night of Jules’ conception. She just happened to have relations with men of two different races on that evening. Nine months later, Mae gave birth to a little girl. She also gave birth to Jules. It’s just that the girl popped out looking like creamy vanilla whereas Jules popped out with the complexion of milk chocolate.

When the nurse held up the little baby with the not-so-little member, Mae was reminded of his overly-endowed father. The nurse asked Mae, “What will you name him, dear?”


Mae took one look at the baby’s gigantic jewels and exclaimed, “Jewels just like pappa’s!” The nurse proceeded to record the baby’s name on the birth certificate. That name read as Jules Jesslike Pappas.

Take a delightful and hilarious trip to Bucksnort and meet some of the other zany characters. You’ll meet Fartley’s grandfather, Diddles, and his great-grandfather, the one-hundred five year-old Poopsy Dinkledorf.


You’ll arch your back when you meet the irascible Martha Mayhem. You’ll pop your cork when Priscilla Bunhead starts her campaign called BUN which stands for Bunheads Unite Now. It is basically an organization for ladies against women. Priscilla gets into unending altercations with Martha and her other neighbor, the voluptuous and sensual Lula Mae Bunsaplenty.

The good news about the characters of Bucksnort is that they will continue to have ongoing misadventures. This book is just the first in a series of social and religious satires. "Babes in Bucksnort" (book 2 of the Sister Mary Olga Series) 

In the meantime, check out the rave reviews on "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" on Amazon.com. While there, do yourself and your friends a favor. Buy a copy of the book for an endless series of laughs and pass the joy around. Then keep coming back to this blog to find out when other misadventures will be about to appear. I promise to provide you with a decade or more of belly laughs.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga"(Book 1) is on sale at Amazon in Paperback for $13.95 and you can purchase HERE! Available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and you can purchase HERE!

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2) is on sale at Amazon in Paperback for $13.95 and you can purchase Here! Available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and you can purchase HERE!

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude": David Cowdery aka Davis Aujourd'hui- Thursday, October 27th

Posted by April Villarose-Matta on October 6, 2011 at 9:47am in The RAW FACTOR

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" by Davis Aujourd'hui 

Are you ready for a class in Advanced Holiness for people from all walks of life? Then, perhaps you're ready to take a trip to the Have A Heart convent in Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There, you'll meet a nun you're not likely to forget - Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude is a satire with a spiritual message, but there's a lot of hanky panky going on here. Sister Mary Olga is an irreverent nun who has some unique spiritual views that differ from those of the Pope. She's a great believer of "to each, one's own." She also loves her Marlboros and her bourbon. Just don't let the Reverend Mother in on her secret. The next class in Advanced Holiness may be canceled.

Here in Bucksnort, you'll meet a zany cast of all-too-human characters. There's a lot of secret-keeping going on here, but Sister Mary Olga will be sure to deliver the goods in order to provide you with good and bad examples of holiness.The Reverend Mother is a former prostitute. The convent's chef is a gay cowboy.Hilarious, laugh out loud, must read book!!

If you love humor and satire then this is the book for you.

I was put off a bit by the title and I am not real religious nor Catholic but I decided, what the heck, I will give this book a chance as I like to discover new authors.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is a book told in the viewpoint of 65 year old Sister Mary Olga Fortitude who resides at the Have a Heart Convent where she teachesvarious religious classes.

At each class she tells a story about a different resident of Bucksnort Wisconsin. Also at this convent is Father Cowberries, a priest with a passion for 'the drink' and Mother Superior Carmen Burana, who was a prostitute in a former life..

Sister Mary Olga shares the Father's passion for drink, she also loves her cigarettes, but of course she tends to clash with the Mother. A lot of the story tells us the ingenious ways she finds to slake her thirst for these vices ie. the four hole outhouse and the crucifix.

The descriptions of the townsfolk and their names, Diddles Dinkledorf and Fartley Dinkledorf alone are enough to have you laughing.Put all the zany characters and their foibles together makes for a hilarious story. I found myself laughing out loud at most of the book.

You absolutely have to read this book if you enjoy in your face humor. You don't have to be religious or Catholic to enjoy this book!! I highly recommend it.

"Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude," I have already completed nine other books in the series and I plan to keep them coming. The next books to be released will be "Babes in Bucksnort," followed by "Have A Heart."


I am a new author, yet I possess a rich life experience that has enabled me to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. I am a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years.

As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in my third book, I am a recovering alcoholic. I also happen to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within my novels. I can speak from my own experience. I have possessed all of the foibles of my cast of characters who are naughty, nasty, and nice.

I have also written my autobiography which is about a gay man's spiritual journey toward recovery from multiple addictions and mental illness. The title of my autobiography is "King David" and I hope to have that published at some point in the near future.

I live in Upstate New York where I am currently sharing my life with my partner of nearly five years. We are both socially-minded and our spirituality is the most important ingredient which empowers us to maintain a happy and abundant life. We belong to a transdenominational church which embraces the sacred truths of all religions, especially the teachings of Jesus. This has been a natural outcome from my lifetime search for the meaning of God. It embraces my belief that all people are equally loved in God's eyes.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Spotlight - Davis Aujourd'hui Author of "The Misadventures Of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

By Mad Moose Mama

Are you ready for a class in Advanced Holiness for people from all walks of life? Then, perhaps you’re ready to take a trip to the Have A Heart convent in Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There, you’ll meet a nun you’re not likely to forget – Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is a satire with a spiritual message, but there’s a lot of hanky panky going on here. Sister Mary Olga is an irreverent nun who has some unique spiritual views that differ from those of the Pope. She’s a great believer of “to each, one’s own.” She also loves her Marlboros and her bourbon. Just don’t let the Reverend Mother in on her secret. The next class in Advanced Holiness may be canceled.

Here in Bucksnort, you’ll meet a zany cast of all-too-human characters. There’s a lot of secret-keeping going on here, but Sister Mary Olga will be sure to deliver the goods in order to provide you with good and bad examples of holiness.

The Reverend Mother is a former prostitute. The convent’s chef is a gay cowboy. Priscilla Bunhead is the town busybody who opens some other closet doors. She, along with the other folks on Dinkledorf Drive, serve up examples of what not to do.

One thing’s for sure. These characters will lighten your load and help you to not take life so seriously.

Get ready for non-stop laughs.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available in Paperback Format for $13.95

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available in Kindle Format for $3.99

Connect with Author Davis Aujourd'hui on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Davis-Aujourdhui/138584429540046

The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude Virtual Book Publicity Tour - October 2011

Authors on Tour, Featured — By Dorothy Thompson on September 17, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Join Davis Aujduvd’hui, author of the humor/satire book, The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude (Outskirts Press), as he virtually tours the blogosphere October 3 – 28 2011 on his first virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book!

About Davis Aujourd’hui

Davis Aujourd’hui is the author of the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series of hilarious satires. The first book is entitled “The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.” It was followed by “Babes in Bucksnort.”

Davis possesses a rich life experience that has enabled him to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. He is a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years. He developed the characters within his series of books in order to entertain a colleague by using the gift of humor.
As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in his third book, he is a recovering alcoholic. He also happens to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within his novels. He can speak from his own experience. He has possessed all of the foibles of his cast of characters who are naughty, nasty, and nice.

Davis lives in Upstate New York where he is currently sharing his life with his partner of seven years. He is socially-minded and spirituality is the most important ingredient in order for him to maintain a happy and successful life.

Visit this blog for information on the series: http://bestsatireseriesofthedecade.blogspot.com/

Visit this blog for information on the author: http://authordavisaujourdhui.blogspot.com/

Connect with him on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Davis-Aujourdhui/138584429540046.

About The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude

Are you ready for a class in Advanced Holiness for people from all walks of life? Then, perhaps you’re ready to take a trip to the Have A Heart convent in Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There, you’ll meet a nun you’re not likely to forget – Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.

The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude is a satire with a spiritual message, but there’s a lot of hanky panky going on here. Sister Mary Olga is an irreverent nun who has some unique spiritual views that differ from those of the Pope. She’s a great believer of “to each, one’s own.” She also loves her Marlboros and her bourbon. Just don’t let the Reverend Mother in on her secret. The next class in Advanced Holiness may be canceled.

Here in Bucksnort, you’ll meet a zany cast of all-too-human characters. There’s a lot of secret-keeping going on here, but Sister Mary Olga will be sure to deliver the goods in order to provide you with good and bad examples of holiness.


The Reverend Mother is a former prostitute. The convent’s chef is a gay cowboy. Priscilla Bunhead is the town busybody who opens some other closet doors. She, along with the other folks on Dinkledorf Drive, serve up examples of what not to do.

One thing’s for sure. These characters will lighten your load and help you to not take life so seriously. Get ready for non-stop laughs

Book Excerpt

Speaking of looking up, that brings me to the subject of Sister Samantha’s secret. Lord, have mercy! Well now! I was extremely thirsty following my most recent week of penance on my knees in my humble little cell; so, I’d made a hasty visit to Randy Cowboy who was generous enough to give me a half gallon of Jack Daniel’s.


I threw caution to the wind and I ducked into cubicle number four where I began to have a few nips. Oh, I must confess the truth. I tied one on! By the time I’d passed out, I’d managed to refresh myself with almost half of that big bottle. Oh my!

Sometime during the night, I must have slipped off the toilet and landed on the floor. I didn’t wake up until the following morning; and, I must say, I had quite a headache! I also realized that I had partially slid under cubicle number three; and, I couldn’t get up.

Well, wouldn’t you know it, the restroom door burst open and I immediately thought that the gig was up. With my luck, I thought that it might be Mother Carmen and that I’d be sent back to my cell for another week of solitary confinement.


Fortunately, God spared me that ordeal and He had sent me an angel. It was Sister Samantha. Of course, I didn’t find that out immediately. Let’s just say that we both had a big surprise in store!

Well! There I was, with my head under cubicle number three, when I heard Sister Samantha singing Amazing Grace as she entered that very cubicle! Apparently, she was so moved by the Holy Spirit that she didn’t even notice my head facing up toward her toilet.

I closed my eyes in reverent prayer just as she was lowering her panties. As she was preparing to sit upon her throne, her habit swished over my face which brought me to attention. I opened my eyes by reflex. Boy, did I get an eyeful and I do mean boy! Sister Samantha wasn’t a woman! Lord, have mercy!

Well! It was a rather awkward situation to say the least! I had learned of Sister Samantha’s incredible secret. I also needed her help. What could I do, but gently murmur, “Please help me, Sister. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

Let me tell you, Sister Samantha might not have been a woman, but she let out a high-pitched scream that sounded like a woman giving birth. She jumped off her pot and she whooshed her habit off my pleading face. If anyone else could have seen us at that very moment, I’m sure that both of our faces would have appeared beet red.

Well! If either of us had had a blackmailing bone in our bodies, we both would have had sufficient ammunition to use against the other. Suffice it to say, each of us took a higher path except Sister Samantha had the higher advantage at that moment.

Well, that little woman proved to be very strong. She grabbed me under my arms. Then she pulled me right under the partition of cubicle number three and out onto the restroom floor.

Even though I was feeling very shaky, in more ways than one, I managed to get myself up and onto my wobbly legs. Well, what could I say besides, “Thank you;” however, given the situation, it seemed that something else might be in order.

"Sister,” I said. “How did you ever pull it off?”

That’s when she told me her story. You see, Sister Samantha just happened to have been born in the wrong body. She was really every bit as much of a woman as myself with one notable exception. God sure works in mysterious ways!

Sister Samantha was the most beautiful child. She was christened “Bobby O’Reilly” and she was her mother’s only son. As it had turned out, he was her only daughter too.

Mother and child lived with Bobby’s grandmother on the family farm. He was conceived on Christmas Eve and he was born on the harvest moon of the following year. It was a fruitful harvest, in more ways than one! He was his mother’s pride and joy as well as being the favorite grandchild of his elderly grandmother. Little Samantha or, should I say, little Bobby was a perfect angel.

On his first day of school, his mother dressed him up in knickers and she sent him off to the Baptist academy in his hometown which was located in a little parish similar to our own. When he returned from school, both his mother and grandmother were in for a big surprise.

Little Bobby had discovered the academy’s Good Will clothes closet and he had decided to change his outfit. When he returned to his grandmother’s farm, he was wearing a dress, high heels, and he had braided his long locks into a perfect French braid.

Grandma O’Reilly chastened her daughter by exclaiming, “Whatever possessed you to send Bobby to school like that?”

Bobby’s dumbfounded mother simply stared at her son and said, “I didn’t!”

That was just the beginning. By the time Bobby was in high school, he had run off to the big city and he had started living as a woman. He had the most gorgeous natural female breasts and he began to receive hormone shots that made him the envy of the big city drag queens.

He named himself Samantha Monet and he decided to seek fame and fortune as a female impersonator. With his new female voice, he could hit a high C and he was soon performing in the big city clubs and making big money.

One of his favorite routines involved him dressing as a nun. It only seemed fitting since he had converted to Catholicism and he had decided that, once he’d had a taste of the world, he was going to become a nun. Sister Samantha was a smashing success as she wooed the crowds with her renditions of religious songs that soon won converts to her beloved Savior.

Sister Samantha was planning on having a sex change, but a part of her believed she was born in a man’s body to teach the world a lesson in tolerance of those who are different from others. Well! Sister Samantha had already taught me a lesson

Book Review of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" By Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", September 29, 2011
**** (4Stars) By Kathleen Kelly "Celticlady" (Rhinelander, WI USA)

My Thoughts:

Hilarious, laugh out loud, must read book!! If you love humor and satire then this is the book for you. I was put off a bit by the title and I am not real religious nor Catholic but I decided, what the heck, I will give this book a chance as I like to discover new authors. "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is a book told in the viewpoint of 65 year old Sister Mary Olga Fortitude who resides at the Have a Heart Convent where she teaches various religious classes. At each class she tells a story about a different resident of Bucksnort Wisconsin. Also at this convent is Father Cowberries, a priest with a passion for 'the drink' and Mother Superior Carmen Burana, who was a prostitute in a former life.. Sister Mary Olga shares the Father's passion for drink, she also loves her cigarettes, but of course she tends to clash with the Mother. A lot of the story tells us the ingenious ways she finds to slake her thirst for these vices ie. the four hole outhouse and the crucifix. The descriptions of the townsfolk and their names, Diddles Dinkledorf and Fartley Dinkledorf alone are enough to have you laughing. Put all the zany characters and their foibles together makes for a hilarious story. I found myself laughing out loud at most of the book. You absolutely have to read this book if you enjoy in your face humor. You don't have to be religious or Catholic to enjoy this book!! I highly recommend it.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available in Paperback Format for $13.95 and you can PURCHASE HERE

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is also available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and you can PURCHASE HERE