MEET DR. WALLY WACKY-WACKO

Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko is the little hamlet of Bucksnort, Wisconsin's only psychiatrist. He doesn't exactly fit the profile and could probably use a good shrink wrap himself. He's good at pushing pills and he also is a firm believer in self-medicating. He is frequently taking a trip somewhere within the recesses of his mind. He loves his potent pot and his psychedelic mushrooms.

He's a middle-aged man who still looks like a little boy. He has eyes as big as saucers. He customarily dresses in faded blue jeans and a fraying plaid flannel shirt. When he first meets a new patient, he stands before them in a confused daze with his jaw open as if he is ready to swallow a fly. He will absentmindedly grab onto his long, curly, salt and pepper hair which is tied back in a ponytail as if it is a security blanket. God only knows, Dr. Wally dispenses security at a price! That can sometimes result in insanity.

Take the case of Sister Eileen McGillicutty. Our good sister was feeling mighty blue when she first called upon the “good doctor.” After considering her situation in the haze of a marijuana high, Dr. Wally opened his desk drawer and he pulled out three bottles. Then he emptied the contents onto his desk whereupon half of the pills fell onto the floor.

Bending over, he picked up each and every one of those multi-colored pills which seemed to mesmerize him. Finally he was ready to continue. He began to pile the pills into an empty bottle and said, “I want you to take each of these pills three times a day. You should be back to yourself in no time!”

When the next evening rolled around, Sister Eileen was dumbly seated before her bowl of steaming stew. Her eyes looked like a couple of glazed donuts. She looked as if she was ready to fall off her seat. She dumbly tried to raise each spoonful of stew into her mouth, but every second spoonful hit her chin where it dribbled down onto her habit. Then her eyes began to close.

Her head began to slowly circle and, just as she had completed the first full revolution, her face went kerplunk right into her steaming bowl. As another sister pulled her head out of the stew, Sister Eileen had a carrot firmly wedged into one of her nostrils and her mouth had a potato stuffed into it. Enough was enough!

That's when Sister Mary Olga took matters into her own hands. She marched the blister-faced Sister Eileen right back to Dr. Wally's. This time he gave her a happy pill. The results were certainly nothing short of spectacular. It wasn’t long before Sister Eileen was swinging from the rafters. She soon announced that she was the Virgin Mary, come down from heaven in order to save the heathens. It was time for her to go back to Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko again. God only knows what he would do next!

Author Davis Aujourd'Hui
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Book Series:
Book 1 -"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" 
Book 2 - "Babes is Bucksnort"