A DINLKELDORF ENCOUNTERS MAYHEM

Every once in awhile, we all encounter a form of mayhem in our lives on our ways to self-discovery. In the case of some of my characters in Bucksnort, Wisconsin, mayhem comes in different forms. First, there is the irascible Martha Mayhem. She is well-named since she is constantly looking for trouble. She is always at odds with her arch enemy, Priscilla Bunhead, the town snoop and gossip.

Priscilla wears her stringy hair in a tight little bun. Martha comes to especially hate that bun when Priscilla forms an organization called Bunheads Unite Now – BUN. She recruits vulnerable females who are looking for someone to do their thinking for them. Much to Martha's chagrin, this also includes some of her relatives. Martha later seeks revenge upon proud Prissy and beheads the bun of a shrieking Priscilla.

Mayhem is encountered in a different form when Diddles Dinkledorf and Mark Mayhem are young and horned-up teens. As they experiment with their sexualities, Mark learns that he enjoys Diddle's Dinkledorf where the sun don't shine. This becomes a life-long passion for the two later aging men who maintain that they are straight. It takes them nearly a lifetime to come to accept that they are gay.

Oh, it all starts out innocently enough. Their trysts take place in the abandoned outhouse of Sister Mary Olga's parents, Platitude and Fullove Fortitude. When the young Mary Olga catches them in the act, she acquires a secret knowledge that she later holds over Diddles' head in order to blackmail him.

Diddles works as a craftsman at the convent where Mary Olga subsequently becomes a nun. She has him fashion a custom-made crucifix that is hollow and contains a flip-top. Given her passion for having secret nips of Old Granddad bourbon, she now has a ready flask for her heavenly spirits.

The older Sister Mary Olga finally decides to blow Mark's cover, thinking she should do her duty to inform Mark's wife that she is married to a closet case. Marjorine Mayhem doesn't turn out to appreciate this knowledge. Seeking comfort, it ends up driving her into the arms of her sister-in-law, Martha. That's when Mayhem encounters Mayhem in a different form of the love that dares to speak its name. The two women discover that they too are gay once they indulge in a passionate kiss.

Life often mimics fiction and can even be stranger than it. Many of the characters in Bucksnort come to embrace their God-given sexualities as they learn to appreciate the diversity of life. Yes, life is indeed a journey full of differing self-discoveries.

You probably won't discover that you are gay unless you already possess those secret fantasies. Irregardless, you may come to embrace some of your own secret behaviors as you come to the understanding of those things within yourselves that need healing. My characters will help you make these discoveries in the most humorous ways.

Learn to accept all of yourselves as you make the journey to fuller self-discovery. Just try not to judge yourselves too harshly. The point is to not take yourselves too seriously. Just come to accept that you are human and that both you and life are good. In the meantime, laugh yourselves silly as you embark on your journeys to Bucksnort!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Sister Olga Fortitude" Book 1

"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2

Book 2 of Sister Mary Olga Book Series -"Babes in Bucksnort" - Amazon Deals for Cyber Monday!

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2 of The Sister Mary Olga Book Series)





About the Author - Davis Aujourd'hui

Davis Aujourd'hui is my pen name for the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude Series. Besides "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude," . I have already completed nine other books in the series and I plan to keep them coming. "Babes in Bucksnort" is Book 2 of the Series. .

I am a new author, yet I possess a rich life experience that has enabled me to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. I am a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years.

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN SISTER MARY OLGA & PRISCILLA BUNHEAD

Sister Mary Olga:

“Just wait one minute while I have a deliciously holy snort of bourbon and light up a Marlboro. Oh? What's that?... I'm on the radio!... Goodness Gravy! Forgive me, my dears. This is Sister Mary Olga Fortitude coming to you. Now! I've heard that some of you are interested in hearing about my misadventures. That's all well and good as long as you don't spread any malicious gossip. After all, there's nothing very holy about that!

Suffice it to say that life is happening in the sleepy little hamlet of Bucksnort, Wisconsin in just the same manner as everywhere else. It's just that most of you tend to keep your untidy little secrets to yourself. Ahem! Excuse me for just a moment while I have another refreshing drink of what I prefer to call heavenly spirits. Ah! That's much better!

Well! Thanks to a busybody named Priscilla Bunhead, nobody's business in the Snortlands of Wisconsin remains their own for very long. Priscilla is the president of an organization called BUN. That stands for Bunheads Unite Now. Why, she's recruited the most vulnerable female souls of Bucksnort who prefer to have someone else do their thinking for them. Just like Priscilla, her fellow bunheads all wear their hair in little buns at the back of their heads. This only serves to squeeze their little brains so tightly that they couldn't think for themselves even if they wanted to.”

(Suddenly there is a shrill voice in the background.)

Priscilla Bunhead:

“Just wait one damn moment, you sanctimonious sister! We bunheads happen to practice human decency, contrary to the likes of you and that former whore of your reverend mother, not to mention the perverts on Dinkledorf Drive. How would you like to live next to a half-Negro bastard like Jules Jesslike Pappas and his fat floozy, Lula Mae Bunsaplenty, while I have a couple of lesbos living on the other side of my unhappy home?

To make matters even worse, I think there's a homo or two on the block! Then there's that 105 year-old peeping Tom, Poopsy Dinkledorf, who lives across the street! The only comfort I have about this revolting situation is that I know they're all going straight to hell when they die. In the meantime, I'll get my satisfaction by doing everything in my power to make their lives as miserable as possible! Maybe that will convince them to get the hell out of Bucksnort!”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Ahem! (followed by a whisper to the audience) - Hang on folks while I just have another little snort to calm my nerves. - It seems to me that you could benefit from one of my classes in Advanced Holiness. After all, as the good book says, 'Judge not, lest ye be judged.'”

Priscilla Bunhead:

“I'll be damned if I'll ever set my foot on the grounds of a Catholic convent! I happen to be a good Baptist so don't think that you're going to preach to me! After all, since you're always siding with the perverts, you'll also be going straight to hell. I just hope the readers of your books don't get suckered in by your so-called lessons in holiness. As the saying goes, 'Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing!'”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Now, now, my dear! Just be careful when you cast a judgment. After all, we're all only looking into a mirror at ourselves whenever we do that.”

Priscilla Bunhead:

“Poppycock, Mary Olga! I'm just here to let your listeners know that, if they read your books, they'll probably go straight to hell too. Quite frankly, I don't give a damn! They'll only have themselves to blame. At least I've done them the favor of warning them.”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Ahem! I'm sure you think you're doing them a kindness. Perhaps it would be better if you let them judge that for themselves. After all, all of God's children deserve a chance to have a good laugh and, (as Sister Mary Olga lets go of a belly laugh) God forgive me, you've just done that for me. Bless you, my dear.”

Priscilla Bunhead:

“You'd better wake up and smell the coffee before it's too late! As for me, I'm getting the hell out of here because your homo cowboy chef is coming this way with a tray of cookies. If you know what's good for you, I wouldn't eat one of those. After all, you never know where his hands might have been!” (sound of running footsteps)

Sister Mary Olga:

“Sigh! Hi Randy!”

Randy Cowboy:

“Hey, Sister, who was that?”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Honey, you don't want to know! When I used to believe in them, I might have called her a demon. Instead I realize she's just a scared little girl. Now! Let's change to a gayer note and let me have one of those cookies! They look scrumptious!”

Author Davis Auhourd'hui

Sister Mary Olga Book Series:

"The Misadventure of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1)

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2)

If you would like to purchase either or both of the books in e-book format, you can do so on the right side of the blog....order now and have the file in a few minutes. Just $4.50 per e-book!

MEET THE DINKLEDORFS

Poopsy Dinkledorf is the patriarch of the Dinkledorf clan. He happens to be the second oldest man alive in the state of Wisconsin. He is also a mischievous soul who lives on a street bearing his name in the fictional town of Bucksnort.
Poopsy is the widower of Daisy Dinkledorf who used to club him over the head with a cast iron frying pan whenever he came home from a night of philandering. He'd had a penchant for the best little whorehouse on the prairie, located across the state line in Orangutan, Iowa. A young raven-haired beauty by the name of Carmen Burana had captivated him by her feminine wiles and her tricks of the trade.

By the time he'd become an old man, Carmen Burana had become the Reverend Mother at Have A Heart convent in Bucksnort. While Poopsy hadn't lost his interest in sex, he basically became a relatively harmless, dirty old man. Of course, he became a pest to his female neighbors when he would peer into their windows hoping to get a look at their breasts and any sexual activity that might be going on within the confines of their bedrooms.

Poopsy's only surviving son is Diddles Dinkledorf who bore a lifelong secret of shame over an ongoing affair with his childhood buddy, Mark Mayhem. As young boys, Mary Olga Fortitude caught Diddles diddling Mark in the outhouse located behind her family home. Even after they both had married, they carried on their clandestine activities.

By the time that Mary Olga became a nun, this gave her an advantage over Diddles who happened to work at the same convent in which she lived. She blackmailed Diddles into protecting her own secret vices – her penchant for bourbon and her Marlboros which she referred to as her prayer sticks.

One of the youngest Dinkledorfs is Diddles' grandson, Fartley. Fartley more than lives up to his name. Much to Sister Mary Olga's consternation, he is constantly interrupting her class in a most explosive manner. He takes a perverse pleasure in passing gas. You can find out how he was cured of this habit if you read my July 2010 blog entry entitled, “Fartley Dinkledorf's Fuming Fiasco.”
Come join the entire cast of deliciously-named, diverse and zany characters when you take a trip to Bucksnort, Wisconsin. Both of the available books are self-contained, though you may want to start at the beginning by reading The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude first. The beauty of ordering both books at the same time is that you'll receive free shipping and handling on www.Amazon.com.
Don't forget. Christmas is coming and now is the perfect time to begin your shopping. There is nothing better than sharing joy with a friend. Consider giving the gifts of laughter contained within the outrageously funny books in the Sister Mary Olga series.

~Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Book #1 "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Book #2 "Babes in Bucksnort"

~~If you are looking for a light funny satire, these two books are for you. Kick back and have a good laugh. We all need it!!!

Do You Just Follow or Do You Shine with Individuality?

Have you ever been in a room with a few friends or a part of a group that believed something that you didn’t agree with? You felt like the world was against you. It’s an uncomfortable and disheartening feeling. It was one of those pivotal moments in life where you either stood up for your opinion and be heard, even if it means that you disagree with the majority, or just go along with the crowd.

In my second installment of the Sister Mary Olga series, "Babes in Bucksnort", there is an underground movement a foot. Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his wife Pinky Poo are about to garner sympathy from the masses at his parish. They are a team that will definitely cause a hilarious theatrical stir for the entire town that you don’t want to miss. Their message is simple… Rid the town of Bucksnort of the homosexual menace that is upon them and no one is safe! Watch your neighbors carefully!

Sister Mary Olga has been witness to the underlying tension of the community. She offers this wisdom to her Advance Holiness class that she would like to share with you:

“I would caution you to take care with your personal testimonies of grace. Not everyone has the same beliefs. We must treat every person with respect even though we may think that we know a better way. All religious beliefs can be valid. God only knows that I’ve had some challenges with regard to that within my own Christian faith. Some of our so-called Christians have forgotten the message of love and forgiveness that Jesus has brought upon us. Perhaps that would be a good place to start.”

Sister Mary Olga always seems to bring problems and conflicts into perspective by focusing on the goodness behind the intentions of all involved. Even though there is seriousness about the disagreement between the townspeople, there is also honesty and humor that stays true to each individual of Bucksnort.

What happens with Sister Mary Olga and the cast of wily, fun loving individuals of Bucksnort may surprise you. Start reading the side splitting, hilarious saga today to find out what happens with your favorite characters.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortutude" (Book 1)

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2)

Sequel to "The Sister of Mary Olga Fortitude" is published and That Would Be "Babes in Bucksnort"

Fans of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" have said, “We couldn't put it down! When it was all over, we wanted more. We can't wait for the next book in the series!”

Fortunately, you won't have to wait long. The sequel to Misadventures is out. Whether or not you've read Misadventures, you'll be able to dive into the deliciously zany new tales without missing a beat.. Of course, you'll undoubtedly want to back up and read the first book, so that you can find out what outrageous stories have come before. Let me tell you a little bit about the new book.

"Babes in Bucksnort" is the sequel to the highly praised "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Once again the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun will spin outrageously funny new tales about the residents of Bucksnort, Wisconsin while she tests the will of a reformed prostitute who just happens to be her Reverend Mother.

Unfortunately there is trouble brewing in the Snortlands. The nasty and notorious town busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, goes on a crusade to stamp out what she calls the gay menace. That's when she convinces her millionaire friend, Mildred Mayflower, to give away her fortune in order to bring the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to town to do the job. It will be an uphill climb for them as the closet doors of many gay people in the Snortlands burst open.

Billy-Bob and his wife, Pinky Poo, will have another battle on their hands when Dimples Dufus, the heiress to the Mayflower fortune, arrives on the scene. They'll also have to reckon with a mysterious woman who channels an entity who challenges the hateful and hypocritical agenda of this spokesman for Jesus.

In between the laughs, Sister Mary Olga continues to dispense nuggets of spiritual wisdom during her classes in Beginner's and Advanced Holiness. Just don't take seats near the flatulent child named Fartley Dinkledorf or his lecherous one-hundred five year-old grandfather, Poopsy. The bottom line is that everyone is welcome in Sister Mary Olga's classes. Join the diverse cast of characters for a joy-ride that will tickle your funny bone until it aches.

Look for "Babes in Bucksnort" through Amazon.com. In the meantime, I am polishing up the next books in the series. Sister Mary Olga promises to be with you for one home run after another.

News about Davis Aujourd'Hui Syracuse in New York

New York News from PR.com — June 17, 2010

Syracuse, NY, June 17, 2010 --(PR.com)-- Outskirts Press, Inc. has published "Babes in Bucksnort: Sister Mary Olga Fortitude Book 2 by Davis Aujourd'hui, which is the author's most recent book to date.

The 6.14 x 9.21 paperback in the Fiction Humorous...
Sister Mary Olga Book Series:

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1)

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2)