Saturday, October 22, 2011


So, you've finished "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"and "Babes in Bucksnort". The good news is that you won't have to wait long for the next hilarious installment. Have A Heart is just around the corner. Let me give you a tempting taste of the upcoming action.

After continued drunken bouts, Sister Mary Olga Fortitude is given an ultimatum by Reverend Mother Carmen Burana. She is given the choice of going away to Holy Happenings Rehab or being dismissed from "Have A Heart" convent where she teaches classes in Advanced Holiness. She begrudgingly consents to rehab where she continues to encounter more zany experiences before later joining the twelve-step program called Alcoholics Unanimous.

Meanwhile, the convent's gay chef, Randy Cowboy, continues to attend his own twelve-step program, Sex Maniacs Notorious. Unfortunately for him, he develops AIDs which is a consequence of his previous history as a sex addict. Fortunately for him, he has the support of the transgendered nun, Sister Samantha Monet, who secretly pines for him.

Mayhem ensues when the town busybody and prude, Priscilla Bunhead, sniffs out the dirt about AIDs coming to the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconson. She broadcasts the alarm to the arch conservative Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead who continues his campaign to wipe out perversion in the Snortlands. Along with his histrionic, Tammy Faye Baker-type wife, Pinky Poo, he stages elaborate spectacles in his church where he hopes to gain the support of the local community.

His campaign ultimately fails for a two reasons. A spirit entity by the named of Ruth, channeled by Cherie Amour, begins to enlighten the community that Billy-Bob is not preaching spiritual truths. Then, in one of the books continuing climactic scenes, he is exposed as a fraud by one of his disciples with whom he has been engaging in his own homosexual dalliances.

The lavish life he had begun when millionaire Mildred Mayflower donated her mansion to him collapses. The church he had founded upon that estate crumbles. Mildred wins back her estate when her attorney convinces the erratic Judge Havnomercy that she had been out of her mind when she had made Billy-Bob her bequest. Further mayhem escalates when Priscilla ends up losing an inheritance from her Aunt Igotta Bea Bunhead and goes berserk.

Along with her sycophant neighbor, the two of them become inpatients at Down the Rabbit Hole psychiatric ward. More misfortunes unfold for some of the other bumbling and misguided characters such as Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko who has impregnated a teenaged girl who later blackmailed him. In a desperate attempt to raise a payoff to Dimples Dufus, he decides to become a pot dealer. Poor Dr. Wally. Sheriff Boris Toodeth catches him in the act.

Fortune smiles on Randy Cowboy and the brave Sister Samantha. After much soul-searching, she decides to proclaim her love for the cowboy. She marches into her Reverend Mother's quarters and announces that she's going to leave the convent to marry the cowboy. The bewildered Reverend Mother wonders how that will work since Randy is gay. That's when Sister Samantha unveils her secret; that she is really a woman trapped in a man's body.

Among the other unfolding stories of the deliciously-named and diverse characters, a sense of justice is obtained for many of the persecuted. As for the antagonists in the story, several cliffhangers will entice the readers to thirst for the next book in the series.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

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