Chase Away Those Winter Blues

Winter got you down? Feeling a case of those seasonal depressive blues? I've got the antidote for you. I'll have you laughing and your spirits shining within the first five pages of either of my books. Take a joy ride to Bucksnort with the naughty nun who likes her booze and her Marlboros – Sister Mary Olga .


"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is a hilarious narrative dispensed by the irreverent nun who isn't an advocate for the pope. She's got her own brand of spirituality and will sprinkle nuggets of wisdom amidst a multitude of zany scenarios. You'll be introduced to the cast of diverse and deliciously dysfunctional characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin as you enter a wonderland filled with people you'll grow to love and love to hate.

The Reverend Mother is a former prostitute and a continual thorn in Sister Mary Olga's habits. Gay chef, Randy Cowboy, is one of the gay and lesbian characters who take a ride on the wild side along with some of their more straight-laced townspeople. There is nothing joyful about the town prude, Priscilla Bunhead. Her specialty is digging in the dirt and there's plenty of that to be found in Bucksnort. I like to season my book with spice like the cowboy chef seasons his food and sex life.

"Babes in Bucksnort" will take you on a continuing adventure which will introduce you to characters like the pothead zombie psychiatrist, Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko. Dr. Wally doesn't exactly have a thriving practice, but he likes to practice his profession upon the unsuspecting who don't necessarily fare for the better from his pretty colored pills.

You'll meet a nun with a secret beneath her habit, a young heiress with a botched facelift which gives her a perpetual look of amazement, and a haughty African-American queen who gives her elderly paramour, Jules Jesllike Pappas, a run for his money.

You'll meet Priscilla Bunhead's newest neighbor and impressionable convert, Lilliliver Lipstick. The little girl in a woman's body doesn't know the first thing about grooming or makeup. She paints clown-like circles on her pasty face and wears bright red lipstick while coloring her hair an unappealing shade of dishwater blond. Priscilla soon has Lilliliver wearing her hair in a tight little bun. This only serves to constrict her already closed mind.

The two of them become alarmed as more gay people come out of the closet. That's when they seek help from the charismatic and arch conservative Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. Their bumbling and misguided efforts only serve to heighten the consciousness of people who are ready to open their minds and embrace the diversity of humanity.

Just don't think that I keep a serious tone to my books for long. My specialty is to continue to tickle your funny bone so that you'll be jumping out of your seats with whoops of laughter. My books are a cross between the humor of Armistead Maupin, Carl Hiassen, and Garrison Keillor.

At this point in the season, you may think that winter will never end. I offer you two joy-filled gifts that will help move the time more quickly when you think another gray day will never end. Be prepared to be royally entertained. Order both books from Amazon.com and receive free shipping and handling. You won't be disappointed for long when you're through because there are many more chronicles from Bucksnort yet to come.

Hope You all enjoy, looks like a long winter ahead of us!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

A Hilarious Getaway to Fantasyland

I offer avid readers with a sense of humor to take a hilarious getaway to a fantasyland that will make you forget your troubles. You can do so with the gift of unending laughter. Here's a little tempter to tantalize your humorous taste buds.

"Babes in Bucksnort" is the first sequel to the highly praised "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Once again the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun will spin outrageously funny new tales about the residents of Bucksnort, Wisconsin while she tests the will of a reformed prostitute who just happens to be her Reverend Mother.

Unfortunately there's trouble brewing in the Snortlands. The nasty and notorious town busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, goes on a crusade to stamp out what she calls the gay menace. That's when she convinces her millionaire friend, Mildred Mayflower, to give away her fortune in order to bring the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to town to do the job. It will be an uphill climb for them when the closet doors of many gay people in the Snortlands burst open. Billy-Bob and his wife, Pinky Poo, will have another battle on their hands when Dimples Dufus, the heiress to the Mayflower fortune, arrives on the scene to reclaim her fortune.

You'll also meet the hilariously bumbling, pothead psychiatrist, Doctor Wally Wacky-Wacko, who creates havoc for one of Sister Mary Olga's favorite fellow nuns. Along with Mildred Mayflower, they become victims of his multi-colored pills that only turn them into zombies. The handsome and virile gay cowboy chef, Randy Cowboy, makes an important self-discovery about his never-ending sexual pursuits when he joins a twelve-step program called Sex Maniacs Notorious.

The irascible Martha Mayhem settles down into comfortable domesticity with her new life partner who happens to be her sister-in law. Martha still manages to stir up trouble on Dinkledorf Drive with her fellow enemies and neighbors, the prudish Priscilla Bunhead and the voluptuous Lula Mae Bunsaplenty. The question that remains is whether Lula Mae's paramour, Jules Jesslike Pappas will put up with her continuing manipulative feminine wiles.

In between the laughs, Sister Mary Olga continues to dispense nuggets of spiritual wisdom during her classes in Beginner's and Advanced Holiness. Just don't take seats near the flatulent child named Fartley Dinkledorf or his lecherous one-hundred five year-old grandfather, Poopsy. The bottom line is that everyone is welcome in Sister Mary Olga's classes. Join the diverse cast of zany characters for a joy ride that will tickle your funny bone until it aches.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" - Book 1

"Babes in Bucksnort" - Book 2

Take a Joy Ride to Bucksnort - It Will be a Ride you Will Never Forget!

Whether you have a case of the blues or just want to crank it up a notch, there's nothing like a refreshing burst of laughter. That's exactly what I offer to you when you decide to take the plunge and take a hilarious trip to Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There, you'll meet a nun you're not likely to forget - Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.

Puffing on a Marlboro and taking a nip of bourbon from her flip-top crucifix, she manages to keep the Reverend Mother's habit in an uproar. The question is whether or not the reformed prostitute, Mother Carmen Burana, will continue to put up with Sister Mary Olga's antics. Sister Mary Olga's Advanced Holiness classes may be canceled.

Come meet all the zany characters. There's Randy Cowboy, the gay chef; Diddles Dinkledorf, the convent's craftsman who keeps Mary Olga supplied with liquor; the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead, founder of the Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. Thanks to the town prude, Priscilla Bunhead, he has been brought to Bucksnort to wipe out perversion in the Snortlands of Wisconsin.

Little Fartley Dinkledorf continues to disrupt Sister Mary Olga's classes in Beginner's Holiness with his flatulent ways. Martha Mayhem and Fartley's one hundred-seven year-old great grandfather, Poopsy, are some of her challenges in her Advanced Holiness classes. There, Sister Mary Olga dispenses nuggets of spiritual wisdom in between the absurd antics of some of her charges.

The characters are as diverse as all the colors of the rainbow. Their names are names you've never heard of before. There are Lula Mae Bunsaplenty and Jules Jesslike Pappas. There are Baby Burpee and Junior Rathbone. There are Lilliliver Lipstick and her timid husband, Abner Snatchasnitch. Their behaviors will keep you in stitches of laughter, though they might just illuminate you to your own behaviors that could use a tweak in a more positive direction.

Start your adventure with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and continue your journey with "Babes in Bucksnort". Bring along your sense of humor and prepare yourself for non-stop laughs.

Purchase both, I hear there is more snow coming! I hope you all enjoy!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"A Laugh a Minute" Book Review of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

By Alan Ray Hoxie (Syracuse N.Y.)
This review is from: "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Paperback)

This is a truly funny book that is all too real in its characterizations. An easy read that leaves one wanting to know what comes next. A bit hard on the convent but I'm sure portrayed spot on in many.Don't miss it! Easy to read a couple of times for double the fun.

HOW JUNIOR RATHBONE MET BABY BURPEE

Junior Rathbone was a corpulent young fella who had never had a date. Many a girl had taken a look at his mammoth form that resembled that of a beached whale and had cast away their eyes in horror. That all changed on one moonlit night on the shores of the great Mississippi.

Junior had ambled down to the shore to take himself a swim. There in the moonlit waters was a goddess of grand girth whose blond hair gleamed like strands of liquid gold. Her cantaloupe-sized breasts were bobbing on the waters as she did a veritable breast stroke.

Junior couldn't believe his luck! Baby Burpee was almost as huge as him. Inspired by her impulse to swim in her birthday suit, Junior quickly shed his gigantic shirt and pants as he searched for further inspiration.

There, on the edge of the water, lay a fallen tree trunk. Junior got himself a running start and galloped onto that tree trunk that bobbed like an apple under his immense form. With his buttocks bouncing like two big bowls full of jelly, he took a dive that nearly submerged the end of the trunk before he parted the waters with a virtual tidal wave. Then the cascading waters rushed toward the goddess who was following the path of the moon across the Mississippi.

At the sound of the resounding splat, Baby turned and watched in wonder. The waves were rushing toward her, but there was no sign of what had caused the parting of the water. Suddenly, Junior surfaced and, like a speeding torpedo, his mounds of flesh were headed directly toward Baby Burpee.

Baby instinctively held out her arms as Junior finally coasted into her billowing breasts and warm embrace. With a shit-eating grin upon his honeydew melon-shaped face, Junior called out, “Baby!”

Baby reached up with one of her pudgy hands,caressed his smiling face, and she exclaimed with a drawl, “How'd ya'll know mah name, big fella?”

They lingered in that embrace as she planted a kiss upon Junior's upturned lips. Junior was in heaven. He had never been kissed before. It was love at first sight and the rest would become sweet history.

To find out more about the continuing story of Baby Burpee, Junior Rathbone, and the other delightfully zany characters in my book, go to Amazon.com and order a copy of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude".

Once you have gobbled up the book that will keep you laughing in stitches, you will wish it would never end.

Fortunately, the first sequel to "Misadventures" will be released within about a month.

Keep your eyes posted on my blog and Amazon.com for continuing misadventures in Babes in Bucksnort. You'll become addicted and the good news is that there will be more "Misadventures" to come.

Nine more books in the series will be released, one luscious morsel at a time, over the coming years. What's more, I plan to continue to create other deliciously delightful tales since my characters are timeless within my active imagination.

Enjoy!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

AUTHOR DAVIS AUJOURD'HUI GIVES INTERVIEW

I recently had another wonderful opportunity to talk about my hilarious series. It was a joy to talk about my wayward nun who loves her bourbon and her Marlboros. Along with the Reverend Mother, a reformed prostitute, and the convent's chef, a gay cowboy who is a self-described sex maniac, I had the chance to talk about my other deliciously dysfunctional characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin.

While the interview focused on my newest book in the series, "Babes in Bucksnort", I was able to talk about my motivation behind developing the series. Years ago, I entertained a colleague by leaving voice mails doing impressions of my delightful characters. She loved it and would burst out into cascades of laughter. Once I retired, I thought that I could write a book. That led to "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" which was soon followed by Babes and a host of other books waiting to be published.

Listeners of the interview will find out how the books will entertain them if they have an open mind. While the books speak to a few specific audiences, it has been highly reviewed by a cross section of diverse readers who have said they couldn't wait for more. Fortunately, they won't have to wait long for the other books to be published.

I spoke of a few zany scenarios from my book. There's the story of Baby Burpee and Junior Rathbone who get married by reenacting their first meeting on the shores of the mighty Mississippi. There, in nothing but their birthday suits, they part the waters of the great river with their mammoth forms. This almost catapults the preacher off the swimming float where the ceremony is going to take place.

Then there's the story of little Fartley Dinkledorf who gets a thrashing from Lula Mae Bunsaplenty when the little pooper covers her shrubbery in a most foul manner. The little boy couldn't help it because a mischievous classmate had given him a chocolate bar that was a laxative.

The African American woman with an attitude was further unamused when her paramour gave her an ultimatum to apologize to the boy. Having first incurred a indignant caning by Fartley's great grandfather, she takes off in a huff. The question remains as to whether she will ever return to Dinkledorf Drive in Bucksnort.

I was able to talk about the nuggets of spiritual wisdom in the book, dispensed by Sister Mary Olga in her Advanced Holiness classes. While Sister Mary Olga doesn't always agree with the pope, she preaches and practices the Golden Rule – to do unto others as you would like them to do unto yourselves.

I was further able to tell how the readers might get to learn about themselves through the antics and very human aspects of my characters. It takes one to know one. Just beware of what you might find out about yourselves. Don't worry, it will help you embrace your humanity once you realize that you are only human too.

I was especially grateful to be able to talk about the opportunities for recovery for alcoholics and sex addicts who might be part of the listening audience. As is the case with my characters, many people suffer from these addictions and help is available. The bottom line is that the books will help people to look at themselves and life without taking themselves too seriously. Take your own delightful joy ride to Bucksnort and see for yourselves. You won't regret a side-splitting moment.

Author Interview Held By Christian Avalon of Tartarus Radio ( a GLBT station)

Click Link to hear the interview: and the Inteview appears in the player under Textual Voices, ep 1: Interview with David Cowdery (Front Page of Website)

LULA MAE BUNSAPLENTY LEAVES WITH A DOSE OF ATTITUDE

Lula Mae Bunsaplenty is the much younger paramour of the elderly and suave Jules Jesslike Pappas. She is queen of the castle. She sashays around in a caftan, cinched up at her bountiful bosom and has used her feminine wiles to wrap Jules around her finger. Unfortunately for Lula Mae, that isn't working any more. Jules has realized that she is a manipulative gal who is only in life for herself.

Little did Lula Mae know she would be leaving Dinkledorf Drive on the day she received a mooning from little Fartley Dinkledorf. A classmate of Fartley's had played a trick on the incessantly flatulent child that cured his compulsive and most odorous behavior. Muchmore Mayhem gave Fartley a chocolate bar that turned out to be a laxative.

Fartley rushed toward home as nature called in a most insistent manner. Unfortunately, he couldn't make it that far. He ended up making a beeline around the back of Jules' home. There, he proceeded to liberally coat the shrubs just as Lula Mae was looking out her window to greet the new day.

Lula Mae wasn't amused. She hightailed it to the kitchen where she grabbed a rubber spatula. Then she pounded the earth to wallop Fartley's already abused fanny before he had a chance to pull up his pants.

Upon arriving home in a cascade of tears, Fartley told his sad tale to his parents. His normally timid father, Dinky Dinkledorf, decided to go on a rampage himself. With all of his one hundred thirty-five pounds, he was prepared to do battle with Lula Mae who was twice his size. Unfortunately for Dinky, he was no match for the likes of Lula Mae.

“Come out here, you big cow!” squeaked Dinky. “You're not going to get away with beating my boy!”

“Who y'all callin' a cow, you dinky, liddle man” she bellowed back. “Ah've a raht mahnd to paddle yo' scrawny ass too! Id's bad enuff dat yo' liddle waht trash chile shot Lula Mae da moon an mo'! Now y'all has da nuhv ta call me names! Ah'm goinna teach ya'll a lesson ya'll soons not goinna fo-git!”

That's just what Lula Mae did. What she didn't realize was that Dinky's one hundred-seven year-old grandfather, Poopsy Dinkledorf, was looking out the window at that very minute.
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When Poopsy saw Dinky upon Lula Mae's broad lap, his paternal instincts kicked in. He decided he was going to kick ass, lady or not! For the first time in over fifteen years, that old man really moved. There wasn't a single teeter to his totter. He made tracks that nearly sizzled as he pushed his trusty cane across the pavement at a full trot. He was on a mission to save his grandson!

Lula Mae didn't see it coming. She was having too much fun dishing it out to Dinky. All of sudden, Lula Mae let out a bellow that was louder than Bessie the cow when she'd birthed her springtime calf. Poopsy had made his mark. He'd used that cane of his to give Lula Mae a thwack of her own right on her buns-aplenty.

Her normally mild-mannered man, Jules, insisted that she owed Fartley an apology. That's when she leaned forward with one of her hefty arms outstretched and her finger pointing out her displeasure. Then she started swaying with a menace as she piped up. “No one's goinna sass Lula Mae and Ah ain't givin' no apologies to NO ONE! If'n y'all ain't goinna stan' up fo' yo' womans, den Ah's clearin' out!”

Lula Mae let out a “harrumph.” Then she turned her buns-aplenty on her audience of spectators and she marched back into the house. You could hear her cursing all over the neighborhood from inside that bedroom.

Not two minutes later, she burst out through that front door carrying a large suitcase that wouldn't close since it was overflowing with clothes. She threw that suitcase into the back of her Cadillac, she plopped herself in the driver's seat, and she gave it the gas. Then she zoomed out of the driveway and she barreled down the street.

Take a journey to Bucksnort, Wisconsin, where the tales contained in "Babes in Bucksnort" will keep you in stitches of laughter from the beginning to the end. Just don't keep all the fun to yourselves. Consider entertaining your friends this Christmas with the hilarious books in the Sister Mary Olga series. There's nothing like giving the gift of joy and it will only return to you multiplied.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1)

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2)