BABY BURPEE"S UNIQUE WEDDING

Baby Burpee is Diddle's Dinkledorf's great niece. She is a goddess of grand girth and she is going to get married in Babes in Bucksnort. It will turn out to be a blessed event with a unique twist.

Baby met her husband-to-be on the shores of the Mighty Mississippi. It was love at first sight. The one thing the two of them had in common was their passion for food. Junior Rathbone was even bigger than Baby. He tipped the scales at three hundred sixty-six pounds. Baby wasn't far behind in weight. Here's how the grand event began to play out. They were going to reenact the evening of their first meeting.

The evening of the big event had finally arrived. The guests lined up along the shore of the river to watch Baby promenade down to the river bank. Junior stood at the edge of the river. From there, he watched his beautiful and bountiful bride, with the long blond hair that looked like liquid silver, approach him on the arms of her Great-Uncle Diddles.

The guests were somewhat surprised when Diddles escorted Baby to a spot on the river away from Junior. What happened next was even more surprising. The bridesmaids began to help Baby take off her huge wedding gown that resembled a tent. The guests gasped as they watched the buxom bride standing before them in nothing but the mounds flesh which were her birthday suit.

Then Baby strolled out into the Mississippi where she took her plunge into the water. A spotlight followed Baby as she swam out into the river toward a swimming float where the preacher was standing. As the guests watched Baby doing the breast stroke, Junior began to take off his tuxedo which could have fit a grizzly bear.

The spotlight shifted to Junior who was now standing before them buck naked. The happy courtship of Baby and Junior had only served to add mounding layers of flesh to the already corpulent couple. Junior looked like a small whale as he stood on that shore of the river.

A drum roll began and Junior took his cue. With a running start, he began to pound the earth as he headed for the tree trunk that would guide his way into the water. He hit that trunk at a gallop and it quaked as he approached his take off. With one final and furious bounce that nearly submerged that tree trunk, Junior dove into those waters with a resounding splat.

The spotlight traced the waves that raced in both directions. Before Junior reemerged, those waves rocked the swimming float where the preacher was ready to perform the ceremony. They hit with such a force that the preacher nearly toppled right into the river. Baby didn't notice. Her eyes were brimming with tears of joy as Junior emerged from the river where he came to a rest against her billowing bosoms.

That was just the beginning of their hilarious wedding. Things only got more bizarre from this point. Read the ending in Babes in Bucksnort, a book in which your funny bone will be tickled from the beginning to the end. The diverse cast of zany characters will entertain you with their outrageous antics. Don't miss out on the fun!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Books:
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1)

"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2)

Great Gift Idea or Gift for Yourself if you are looking for giggle out loud books! Kindles are available for $3.99 each.

What Every Caregiver Must Know - By Author Davis Aujourd hui

Life is a continual process of change. As you grow into your middle years, there comes a time when there may be a role reversal with your parents. As a young child, they were your caregiver. Now, it may become the time when you will be theirs.

As a retired social worker, I have witnessed this countless times. I am also at an age when my own parents have become elderly. This may well be a challenge for me in my future. If this time has arrived for you, you are already dealing with the challenge.

You should consider the least restrictive form of help. You will want to keep them as independent as possible. Ideally, this would mean to keep them in their own home for as long as you are able to keep them safe.

Supportive services can be brought into their home if that is affordable. There are a number of resources available in every community: social service agencies, home health aides, independent cleaning people, visiting nurses, etc. If you are unable to help with things like medical transportation and shopping, there may be private alternatives for this as well.

There are some simple things that you can do. These would include things like pre-pouring their medications and assisting them with their finances. Try to always help them make their own decisions if they are able to do so. No one appreciates interference.

The time may come when they will need more support. Assisted living programs are an excellent way for them to maintain a degree of independence. This may not be financially feasible for many. Now, the decision is whether or not you are able to care for them in your own home.

This is a big decision. Consider it carefully and do not allow guilt to cause you to do something with which you are uncomfortable. Remember, it is of the utmost importance that you take care of yourself too. It will become a dramatic change to your lifestyle. It will involve sacrifices that will hopefully come from a loving place rather than a sense of obligation.

If that time has already come for you, you will appreciate what I have been saying. Allow your parents to do what they can for themselves. Nobody wants to be treated like a child. All adults are worthy of respect. Most importantly, you will want to offer love.

In order to do this, it is imperative that you be willing to reach out for help. You do not want to bear the entire burden. Again, you can consider bringing in services

Here are some tips you may find helpful:

• Ask a friend or neighbor to come to visit so that you are able to do things for yourself. You will be of no good to your parents if you are making sacrifices that interfere with your ability to take care of yourself.

• Take time out so that you can pursue your own interests. Otherwise, you may become consumed with resentment. Do not allow this to happen. Just remember that you are only human. Just as your parents have needs, so do you. There may come a day when you will realize that you can no longer bear the burden of providing care. That is not your fault. It is a reality that many of you will come to face as your parents’ needs become all-consuming. This will become the time that you will need to consider nursing home placement. Do not allow guilt to consume you. Difficult as it may be, talk it over with your parents. Let them know that you love them, but that they need more help than you are able to provide.

• If you have to place your parents, take time so that you can find a nursing home that is the best fit. Do your research carefully. All nursing homes are rated. Some of them are not fit for any human being. Interview and tour the homes. Talk with residents to see how they like the homes.

• Do not put yourself into a place where you must rush to make a decision. The best-rated homes will take the longest amount of time whereby a placement can be achieved. Don’t wait until you are desperate. Be realistic and plan ahead.

• Once a placement has been achieved, be sure to make frequent visits. This will serve two primary purposes. Naturally, your parents will need and appreciate your love and support. It will also let the staff at the home know that you are involved. Some nursing homes can be neglectful of residents’ needs if family is not a presence.

• No matter what your situation is, affirm for yourself that you have done the best you have been able to do. Have no regrets. This will only lead to guilt. Just remember to love yourself as well as your parents.

About the author:

Davis Aujourd’hui is the creator of the highly-rated and hilarious Sister Mary Olga Fortitude – a series of nine books centered on religious and social satire. He is a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York. He said it enabled him to become a student of the human condition. While doing so, he developed the characters in his books in order to entertain a colleague of his using the gift of humor. He says being socially-minded and spiritual are is the most important ingredients for him to maintain a happy and successful life. He lives in Upstate New York.


Blogs:
The Funniest satire Series of the Deacde
Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Facebook Page

Books:
The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude

Babes in Bucksnort

Great Reading for People That would like to sit down and have a great laugh!

Kind words about Author Davis Aujourd'hui and his first book of the "Sister Mary Olga" Satire Series"



From The Publisher: "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1 of Series)

Author Davis Aujourd'hui:

Your narrative voice is FANTASTIC. Reading through your work was like sitting across from you and having a cup of coffee.

I really enjoyed it!

Your work demonstrates strong writing with a nice flow.

You really have done a nice job putting together your book. Your writing proves you did your homework before writing your story as your story line flows so nicely.

Your book is written well and I have to say that there were times I wondered if I was reading fiction or nonfiction.

Congratulations! 


Tinamarie Ruvalcaba
Author Representative
Outskirts Press



Book 1 - " The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Available in Paperback and Kindle Format! Kindle Special Pricing $3.99

A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT

Here it comes again – Mother's Day. So you're ready to head for the store to buy a card or a gift. Why not give the gift that's free. Give your mother your time and let her know you love her.

This may not be an easy task for everyone. Not all of us came from loving backgrounds. If this was the case for you, it was probably also the case for your mother as a child.

The thing to remember is that we all have done the best we could have done with whatever has come our way. Your mother has done the same thing too. Remember, there are no blueprints for parenting. It's all a matter of learning on the job. Some mothers are just slow learners. They are not to be blamed.

You're an adult now. It's time to grow up. That may mean facing some of your own demons. The important thing to remember is to face the past with honesty, to forgive, and to let go.

You may need to talk to someone, including a professional, in order to discharge past pain. It's also important to remember all of those loving qualities that your mother possesses. Remember the good times that you have had.

Try to put your life into a balanced perspective. Life is more good than not. Allow the healing to flow into your life. The beautiful thing is that you can make it all good if you live in the present and commit to it being so.

The present moment is all you have and here it comes. The question is what you can do to make it a memorable one? Cards and flowers are nice, but they don't compare with a more personal connection. Make a phone call. Better yet, spend the day with her. Relive the happy times. Let her know you love her. The gift you give to her will multiply. It will also be a gift you give yourself.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

This article also appears:

http://wisewoman2.com/ Authentic Women

http://www.assistnews.net/Stories/2011/s11040123.htm Assist News

LAUGH YOUR TROUBLES AWAY

Life may not be a bowl of cherries, but I am offering you some delectable desserts within my two Sister Mary Olga books. If you have an open mind and a zest for living, you will be able to laugh your troubles away. If you're in a place of joy, I will only increase it.

The irreverent Sister Mary Olga Fortitude is a nun who likes to nip her booze while she sends up smoke signals to God from her Marlboro cigarettes. She does this much to the consternation of her Reverend Mother who happens to be a reformed prostitute.

I throw into the mix a diverse cast of delightfully dysfunctional characters with whom to titillate your funny bone. Try out the dried out prudish prune, Priscilla Bunhead. She is in sharp contrast to the fun-loving gay cowboy chef, Randy Cowboy. Just wait until he finds out a secret beneath a nun's habit when he discovers that Sister Samantha isn't what she appears to be.

You'll meet the clown-like Lilliliver Lipstick who dabbles in the dirt with Priscilla. The two of them recruit an arch conservative minister named Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead. He and his wife, Pinky Poo, bring the Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to Bucksnort to wipe out what they consider to be perversion.

You've got it! Priscilla and Billy-Bob don't like gay people and there are plenty of gay characters with whom they tangle. Priscilla gets her panties in an uproar only to find that her crusade backfires on her when the townspeople of Bucksnort come out in support of their gay brothers and sisters.

You'll relate to the foibles of my cast as you learn to laugh at your own.

Take a joy ride to Bucksnort.

Visit Amazon.com where you can purchase "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort".

Just be prepared to get your own panties into an uproar.

Enjoy the journey!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Available in Paperback and Kindle Formats! Kindle Formats are $3.99. You can purchase Kindle Format and send as a gift to anyone that has an email address. 

CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO BE ALL YOU CAN BE

Do you feel as if you're not the person you would like to be? Do you feel as if your life is lacking meaning? Do you feel envious of others? Worse yet, do you feel as if you were a failure? Then it's time to challenge yourself – to be all that you can be.


As a young child, you may have had dreams. Perhaps those dreams never came to fruition. Perhaps those dreams changed along the way. No matter the case, it is imperative that you come to believe in yourself. Have faith that dreams come true.

As a young child, I wanted to become famous. Life challenges prevented that from happening. That's just as well. Fame would only have fed my ego which was based upon insecurities.

I am a survivor of a traumatic childhood. I suffered from years of suicidal depressions. I am also a recovering alcoholic and recovering sex addict. Years of therapy and twelve-step programs were the key to opening up my potential to become the person I had always wanted to be. Slowly, but surely, I learned to let go of those things that didn't serve my spirit as I also came to better know myself. Then I was in a position to grow and to realize dreams.

I'm still not famous, nor do I care if I ever am. What I am now is a successful author and that manifested from another dream I'd developed along the way. If I can realize my dreams, anyone can.

All of this can come to you if you're willing to take my challenge. Surround yourself with positive people, places, and things that you can emulate. Consider things such as letting go of self-destructive behaviors, going into therapy, joining a support group, or finding a church that feeds you positive messages based upon love, not fear. Become a part of a greater community. Break out of any tendencies to isolate. Get in touch with your spirit and focus on activities that make you feel good about yourself.

It's not an easy road to overcome life challenges, but it can be done. It takes a lot of work, but it will pay great dividends. Believe that you are worth it. Then begin a little at a time. It only takes baby steps, one day at a time, to move forward in a positive direction.

Face your fears and take those baby steps toward overcoming your hangups. Nudge yourself a little at a time. You can do it. It is simply a matter of taking charge of your life. Choose not to be an observer of your life. Be a participant!

It all begins with focusing on whatever inspires you and brings you to a place of joy. As you continue to follow your joy, amazing things will begin to happen. For one thing, it will bring you to a place of gratitude. Your whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Eventually, all kinds of good things will begin to come your way.

Positive thoughts and actions will manifest in positive results. You will develop a life filled with meaning as you let go of any judgments connected to your past. Whatever has come to pass has brought you to your now. The present moment is the place to begin.

Remain true to your emerging self as you come to know who you truly are. Take a good look at yourself as you learn to become more honest. It will involve taking a look at your strengths and weaknesses.

Focus on your strengths and be gentle with yourself as you look at your weaknesses. After all, you are only human as we all are. Do not compare yourself to others. Keep the focus on yourself. The good news is that you can let go of your weaknesses and turn them into strengths as you develop more awareness of your authentic self and the self you want to be.

What's past is past. Come to appreciate and accept what has been and what is. Look with eagerness to you future. Affirm and believe, you can be all you want to be. Dreams do come true.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Sister Mary Olga Fortitude Book Series

Book #1 "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Book #2 "Babes in Bucksnort"

Both are available in Paperback and Kindle Format. The Kindle Format has a cost of $3.99. Order today and be prepared to laugh out loud!

HOW YOU CAN USE HUMOR TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE?

As it's been said before, humor is indeed the best medicine. It's a wonderful way to escape from negativity and to find your way to a place of joy. It is also a gift you can give to others to help them move to a place of joy. It may take practice, but it will be worth it. Try it and you'll be convinced.

I used to have a very stressful job as a social worker. The way I defused that stress was to engage in humor with a colleague of mine. It was a wonderful stress-buster. It provided us with unending laughs. This can also improve your physical health. Any time you can alleviate stress, your body will become more relaxed. This will provide a boost to your immune system that will lessen your chance of acquiring disease. You will be amazed at the results.

If you can't think of anything funny at the present moment, think about humorous anecdotes from your past. No matter how dark your lives have been, you have all experienced the lighter side as well. For most of you, that has been the predominant case.

My own life has been one filled with challenges. I am a survivor of a traumatic childhood. I am also a person who has faced persecution as a gay man. I have recovered from serious depression. I am a recovering alcoholic and a recovering sex addict. In spite all of this, my life has largely been a positive one filled with much joy.

I have learned how to look at my past and to embrace the darkness in order to move into the light. It has simply been a matter of letting go of that which has haunted me as I have exorcised my demons. It has been a rewarding pathway to freedom. You can do it too.

Don't be afraid to be spontaneous or silly. It doesn't really matter. A silly giggle is only one step away from cascading belly laughs.

Use your imagination and inspiration to come up with outlandish ideas. This is what I have done in my series of satires. Anyone can do it with some practice. Don't hold back. You can do it.

Like anything in life, the key is to practice that which you wish to possess. You will reap whatever results that are a consequence of your thinking, doing, or being. Why not take a look on the lighter side? It will pay great dividends. Trust me. If I can do it, anyone can!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Why not start your laughter and fun with the reading of Author Davis Aujourd'hui's two published books from his "Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Series!!

Book 1 - "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude""
Book 2 - "Babes in Bucksnort"

Paperback and Kindle Formats are available. Kindles are priced at $3.99. Do you know that you can send a Kindle Format of a book as a gift? Well, you can send Kindle Formatted Books to anyone that has an e-mail!