Chase Away Those Winter Blues

Winter got you down? Feeling a case of those seasonal depressive blues? I've got the antidote for you. I'll have you laughing and your spirits shining within the first five pages of either of my books. Take a joy ride to Bucksnort with the naughty nun who likes her booze and her Marlboros – Sister Mary Olga .


"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is a hilarious narrative dispensed by the irreverent nun who isn't an advocate for the pope. She's got her own brand of spirituality and will sprinkle nuggets of wisdom amidst a multitude of zany scenarios. You'll be introduced to the cast of diverse and deliciously dysfunctional characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin as you enter a wonderland filled with people you'll grow to love and love to hate.

The Reverend Mother is a former prostitute and a continual thorn in Sister Mary Olga's habits. Gay chef, Randy Cowboy, is one of the gay and lesbian characters who take a ride on the wild side along with some of their more straight-laced townspeople. There is nothing joyful about the town prude, Priscilla Bunhead. Her specialty is digging in the dirt and there's plenty of that to be found in Bucksnort. I like to season my book with spice like the cowboy chef seasons his food and sex life.

"Babes in Bucksnort" will take you on a continuing adventure which will introduce you to characters like the pothead zombie psychiatrist, Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko. Dr. Wally doesn't exactly have a thriving practice, but he likes to practice his profession upon the unsuspecting who don't necessarily fare for the better from his pretty colored pills.

You'll meet a nun with a secret beneath her habit, a young heiress with a botched facelift which gives her a perpetual look of amazement, and a haughty African-American queen who gives her elderly paramour, Jules Jesllike Pappas, a run for his money.

You'll meet Priscilla Bunhead's newest neighbor and impressionable convert, Lilliliver Lipstick. The little girl in a woman's body doesn't know the first thing about grooming or makeup. She paints clown-like circles on her pasty face and wears bright red lipstick while coloring her hair an unappealing shade of dishwater blond. Priscilla soon has Lilliliver wearing her hair in a tight little bun. This only serves to constrict her already closed mind.

The two of them become alarmed as more gay people come out of the closet. That's when they seek help from the charismatic and arch conservative Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. Their bumbling and misguided efforts only serve to heighten the consciousness of people who are ready to open their minds and embrace the diversity of humanity.

Just don't think that I keep a serious tone to my books for long. My specialty is to continue to tickle your funny bone so that you'll be jumping out of your seats with whoops of laughter. My books are a cross between the humor of Armistead Maupin, Carl Hiassen, and Garrison Keillor.

At this point in the season, you may think that winter will never end. I offer you two joy-filled gifts that will help move the time more quickly when you think another gray day will never end. Be prepared to be royally entertained. Order both books from Amazon.com and receive free shipping and handling. You won't be disappointed for long when you're through because there are many more chronicles from Bucksnort yet to come.

Hope You all enjoy, looks like a long winter ahead of us!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

A Hilarious Getaway to Fantasyland

I offer avid readers with a sense of humor to take a hilarious getaway to a fantasyland that will make you forget your troubles. You can do so with the gift of unending laughter. Here's a little tempter to tantalize your humorous taste buds.

"Babes in Bucksnort" is the first sequel to the highly praised "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Once again the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun will spin outrageously funny new tales about the residents of Bucksnort, Wisconsin while she tests the will of a reformed prostitute who just happens to be her Reverend Mother.

Unfortunately there's trouble brewing in the Snortlands. The nasty and notorious town busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, goes on a crusade to stamp out what she calls the gay menace. That's when she convinces her millionaire friend, Mildred Mayflower, to give away her fortune in order to bring the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to town to do the job. It will be an uphill climb for them when the closet doors of many gay people in the Snortlands burst open. Billy-Bob and his wife, Pinky Poo, will have another battle on their hands when Dimples Dufus, the heiress to the Mayflower fortune, arrives on the scene to reclaim her fortune.

You'll also meet the hilariously bumbling, pothead psychiatrist, Doctor Wally Wacky-Wacko, who creates havoc for one of Sister Mary Olga's favorite fellow nuns. Along with Mildred Mayflower, they become victims of his multi-colored pills that only turn them into zombies. The handsome and virile gay cowboy chef, Randy Cowboy, makes an important self-discovery about his never-ending sexual pursuits when he joins a twelve-step program called Sex Maniacs Notorious.

The irascible Martha Mayhem settles down into comfortable domesticity with her new life partner who happens to be her sister-in law. Martha still manages to stir up trouble on Dinkledorf Drive with her fellow enemies and neighbors, the prudish Priscilla Bunhead and the voluptuous Lula Mae Bunsaplenty. The question that remains is whether Lula Mae's paramour, Jules Jesslike Pappas will put up with her continuing manipulative feminine wiles.

In between the laughs, Sister Mary Olga continues to dispense nuggets of spiritual wisdom during her classes in Beginner's and Advanced Holiness. Just don't take seats near the flatulent child named Fartley Dinkledorf or his lecherous one-hundred five year-old grandfather, Poopsy. The bottom line is that everyone is welcome in Sister Mary Olga's classes. Join the diverse cast of zany characters for a joy ride that will tickle your funny bone until it aches.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" - Book 1

"Babes in Bucksnort" - Book 2

Take a Joy Ride to Bucksnort - It Will be a Ride you Will Never Forget!

Whether you have a case of the blues or just want to crank it up a notch, there's nothing like a refreshing burst of laughter. That's exactly what I offer to you when you decide to take the plunge and take a hilarious trip to Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There, you'll meet a nun you're not likely to forget - Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.

Puffing on a Marlboro and taking a nip of bourbon from her flip-top crucifix, she manages to keep the Reverend Mother's habit in an uproar. The question is whether or not the reformed prostitute, Mother Carmen Burana, will continue to put up with Sister Mary Olga's antics. Sister Mary Olga's Advanced Holiness classes may be canceled.

Come meet all the zany characters. There's Randy Cowboy, the gay chef; Diddles Dinkledorf, the convent's craftsman who keeps Mary Olga supplied with liquor; the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead, founder of the Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. Thanks to the town prude, Priscilla Bunhead, he has been brought to Bucksnort to wipe out perversion in the Snortlands of Wisconsin.

Little Fartley Dinkledorf continues to disrupt Sister Mary Olga's classes in Beginner's Holiness with his flatulent ways. Martha Mayhem and Fartley's one hundred-seven year-old great grandfather, Poopsy, are some of her challenges in her Advanced Holiness classes. There, Sister Mary Olga dispenses nuggets of spiritual wisdom in between the absurd antics of some of her charges.

The characters are as diverse as all the colors of the rainbow. Their names are names you've never heard of before. There are Lula Mae Bunsaplenty and Jules Jesslike Pappas. There are Baby Burpee and Junior Rathbone. There are Lilliliver Lipstick and her timid husband, Abner Snatchasnitch. Their behaviors will keep you in stitches of laughter, though they might just illuminate you to your own behaviors that could use a tweak in a more positive direction.

Start your adventure with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and continue your journey with "Babes in Bucksnort". Bring along your sense of humor and prepare yourself for non-stop laughs.

Purchase both, I hear there is more snow coming! I hope you all enjoy!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"A Laugh a Minute" Book Review of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

By Alan Ray Hoxie (Syracuse N.Y.)
This review is from: "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Paperback)

This is a truly funny book that is all too real in its characterizations. An easy read that leaves one wanting to know what comes next. A bit hard on the convent but I'm sure portrayed spot on in many.Don't miss it! Easy to read a couple of times for double the fun.

HOW JUNIOR RATHBONE MET BABY BURPEE

Junior Rathbone was a corpulent young fella who had never had a date. Many a girl had taken a look at his mammoth form that resembled that of a beached whale and had cast away their eyes in horror. That all changed on one moonlit night on the shores of the great Mississippi.

Junior had ambled down to the shore to take himself a swim. There in the moonlit waters was a goddess of grand girth whose blond hair gleamed like strands of liquid gold. Her cantaloupe-sized breasts were bobbing on the waters as she did a veritable breast stroke.

Junior couldn't believe his luck! Baby Burpee was almost as huge as him. Inspired by her impulse to swim in her birthday suit, Junior quickly shed his gigantic shirt and pants as he searched for further inspiration.

There, on the edge of the water, lay a fallen tree trunk. Junior got himself a running start and galloped onto that tree trunk that bobbed like an apple under his immense form. With his buttocks bouncing like two big bowls full of jelly, he took a dive that nearly submerged the end of the trunk before he parted the waters with a virtual tidal wave. Then the cascading waters rushed toward the goddess who was following the path of the moon across the Mississippi.

At the sound of the resounding splat, Baby turned and watched in wonder. The waves were rushing toward her, but there was no sign of what had caused the parting of the water. Suddenly, Junior surfaced and, like a speeding torpedo, his mounds of flesh were headed directly toward Baby Burpee.

Baby instinctively held out her arms as Junior finally coasted into her billowing breasts and warm embrace. With a shit-eating grin upon his honeydew melon-shaped face, Junior called out, “Baby!”

Baby reached up with one of her pudgy hands,caressed his smiling face, and she exclaimed with a drawl, “How'd ya'll know mah name, big fella?”

They lingered in that embrace as she planted a kiss upon Junior's upturned lips. Junior was in heaven. He had never been kissed before. It was love at first sight and the rest would become sweet history.

To find out more about the continuing story of Baby Burpee, Junior Rathbone, and the other delightfully zany characters in my book, go to Amazon.com and order a copy of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude".

Once you have gobbled up the book that will keep you laughing in stitches, you will wish it would never end.

Fortunately, the first sequel to "Misadventures" will be released within about a month.

Keep your eyes posted on my blog and Amazon.com for continuing misadventures in Babes in Bucksnort. You'll become addicted and the good news is that there will be more "Misadventures" to come.

Nine more books in the series will be released, one luscious morsel at a time, over the coming years. What's more, I plan to continue to create other deliciously delightful tales since my characters are timeless within my active imagination.

Enjoy!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui