How human it is to judge! It seems to be a fact of life. Unfortunately, it can lead to warped perceptions of others and of what is. The road to being free of judgment is to come to a place of acceptance. That always begins within.
As humans, we often find ourselves comparing ourselves with others. If we hold someone in high esteem, we may end up feeling diminished ourselves. If we are full of ourselves, we tend to judge others as inferior. Don't let the judgment be on you!
It's a tricky business. In comparing ourselves to others, we may not realize what we are doing. Our egos are leading the way to conflict – within or without. What we tend to judge in others is something we need to take a look at within ourselves. It may not be that we have that same issue, but we may have something else that we need to look at. As an example, we may look at someone who has an addiction to alcohol with disdain. We may think that they should be able to exercise willpower. Unfortunately, that doesn't tend to work when it comes to addiction. Addiction is a disease. The thing we need to look at for ourselves is how we may be addicted to something else that may or may not be as destructive.
For example, we may be addicted to toxic relationships. We may be addicted to work, sex, compulsive gambling or compulsive buying. When we judge the alcoholic, we think we are better than him or her in order to avoid looking at our own issue. This is denial!
I have developed a series of satires that contain ornery characters who like to judge others. Priscilla Bunhead is a case in point. She judges anyone who is different from herself as being “less than.” She looks at my main character, Sister Mary Olga, with disdain. That's because Sister Mary Olga likes to tip her bottle of bourbon with fervor and to smoke her Marlboros with a passion. Because Priscilla doesn't do these things, she thinks she is better than Sister Mary Olga.
When Priscilla Bunhead looks at people who are gay, she judges them as perverts. She doesn't have any comprehension that they were made that way. It's not a matter of choice. They just happen to have a different sexuality than her.
Unfortunately for Priscilla, she has no outlet for her sexuality. She is an old maid who has never had sex. Perhaps her judgments are fueled by envy of those who have healthy outlets with which to express themselves.
She also doesn't like African-Americans. She basically doesn't like anyone who is different than herself. She has no ability to appreciate the diversity of people. She probably doesn't even like the different colors of the rainbow. Poor Priscilla! She happens to be a very unhappy person.
You may or may not see it, but you may have some aspects of Priscilla Bunhead within yourself. Your vision may be clouded because we all have blind spots. This is where careful self-examination is important. Just don't take this or yourself too seriously. Life is meant to be about joy. A better road would be to find the ability to laugh at yourself.
A good vehicle to do this would be to read my books and take a look at yourself as you laugh at my zany characters. Just don't be surprised if the laugh is on you! "The Misadvntures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort"
Author Davis Aujourd'hui