Thursday, December 9, 2010

CREATIVE COOKING WITH AMANDA ANN ADULT


Bucksnort Wisconsin's major celebrity is a seasoned old gal named Amanda Ann Adult. She cooks with plenty of seasoning and she always does it with generous doses of vodka. She and Sister Mary Olga Fortitude are best buddies, given their mutual passion for heavenly and potable spirits.

Amanda Ann is the half-sister of Julius Jesslike Pappas. That's a story unto itself. For now, let's focus on Amanda Ann.

In her younger years, Amanda Ann was the mistress of Priscilla Bunhead's father, Boris. This created a lifetime grudge for Priscilla since she blamed Amanda Ann for her mother's death. Following her discovery of her husband's affair, Priscilla's mother wandered off the curb in a daze and was run over by the milk man. That's when Priscilla became a motherless child.

Boris Bunhead was the owner of Bucksnort's only radio station, WBUN. After starting his affair with Amanda Ann, he made a celebrity out of her. He gave Amanda Ann her own radio show which Amanda Ann dubbed, Cooking with Class.

Every day at 5PM, the local housewives and many of the gay men of Bucksnort would tune into her show for the recipe of the day. The show turned out to be a smash. One thing Amanda Ann knew how to do was to cook. She also quickly learned how to drink when Boris dumped her for Dolly Delite.

Amanda Ann got even with Dolly later, but that's another story too.

Amanda Ann became another lost soul who blamed her fate at becoming a spinster on other people and life circumstances. She became a drunk. Fortunately, for the readers of my series, her drunkenness was always spiced with plenty of humor. She also had another good drinking buddy beside Sister Mary Olga. That would be the parish priest, Father Cowberries.

Priscilla would always prepare the for the convent's annual Christmas pageant. One year in particular, things got rather out of hand. She always had a potent egg nog on hand which Father Cowberries and Sister Mary Olga enjoyed. It contained a little egg nog, some ice cream, and lots of bourbon, rum and brandy.

This particular year, Father Cowberries accidentally destroyed her dessert. After imbibing heavily on Amanda Ann's egg nog, he passed out and plunged head-first into her Yule log. When it came time to present the smashed dessert to the assembled crowd, Amanda Ann wheeled out her log, cursing all the way. She announced that Father Cowberries had already had his piece.

Take a side-splitting journey to Bucksnort where the unexpected is always to be expected. The characters are zany and the scenarios are outrageous. There's also lots of spice besides Amanda Ann's cooking. Thanks to the sexual antics of my characters, there's always a dose of dirt for Priscilla Bunhead to get her crooked nose hooked in. She dishes it out with as much panache as Amanda Ann dishes out her culinary delights.

Your travels to Bucksnort begin with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" followed by "Babes in Bucksnort". The laughter doesn't stop there. There will be many more books in the series yet to come. Treat yourselves to lots of laughs this Christmas. My books are available through Amazon.com.

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