Saturday, July 2, 2011

Fartley Dinkledorf Meets The Wrath of Lula Mae Bunsaplenty

Now! Poor Fartley didn’t quite make it to home base on the day of his unexpected laxative treatment. As he ran along Dinkledorf Drive, he realized that he couldn’t make it the distance from the one last house before he reached home. God was calling to him in the most urgent and fundamental manner. He ran to the backyard of his next-door neighbor’s, Jules, home and he made a beeline for the bushes in front of Jules’ bedroom window.

It was late in the morning and Lula Mae Bunsaplenty had finally made it out of her bed. At the very moment that she was pulling up the window shade, Fartley was pulling his pants down. She let out a “harrumph!” Then she let out a bellow louder than Bessie the cow when she saw that little boy coating the bushes in a most repulsive manner.

Lula Mae took Fartley’s act very personally. She made her own beeline to the backdoor. She was especially cranky since she hadn’t had her fix of her morning coffee. That little brat wasn’t going to get away with giving Lula Mae a brown mooning to soil her morning! Uh-unh!

Poor Fartley was just about to pull up his pants as Lula Mae was rounding the corner. On her way outside she’d managed to grab a big rubber spatula from the kitchen. Before Fartley knew what was going to happen, Lula Mae began to thwack his chocolate-coated hiney with an ungodly force. Let’s face it, Lula Mae had plenty of momentum since her hefty arms were the size of whole hams!

Fartley wasn’t used to getting a thrashing and his fanny had already suffered plenty of abuse that morning. The little boy yanked up his pants and he went running home, crying a river of tears following his escape from the wrath of Lula Mae. As he did so, Lula Mae let out a self-satisfied

“Mmm....hmmm!” Then she headed back into her house to get herself perking with some cafe au lait even though she no longer required it for her morning jolt. She was wide awake now.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

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