Decking the Halls with Humor Writer Davis Aujourd’hui

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Literarily SpeakingPosted By admin On 23 Nov 2011. Under Holiday Celebrations 

Davis Aujourd’hui is the author of the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series of hilarious satires. The first book is entitled "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". It was followed by "Babes in Bucksnort."

Davis possesses a rich life experience that has enabled him to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. He is a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years. He developed the characters within his series of books in order to entertain a colleague by using the gift of humor.

As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in his third book, he is a recovering alcoholic. He also happens to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within his novels. He can speak from his own experience. He has possessed all of the foibles of his cast of characters who are naughty, nasty, and nice.

Davis lives in Upstate New York where he is currently sharing his life with his partner of seven years. He is socially-minded and spirituality is the most important ingredient in order for him to maintain a happy and successful life.

Is Christmas your favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Time with family to practice gratitude is all important to me. Christmas is my second most favorite holiday.

How do you prepare for the holidays? Do you decorate?

I do decorate. I put up a big tree decorated by scores of favorite ornaments I have collected over my lifetime.

I bake dozens of Christmas cookies which I give to family and friends. I also love to shower my loved ones with presents. That brings me much joy.

What was Christmas like when you were a kid?

Christmas was my favorite holiday as a child. I loved the magic of the season. I loved the story of the birth of Jesus and believed in Santa Claus.

It was a time to celebrate with family. That involved my parents, my sister, and my four beloved grandparents. I have many happy memories that will endure for a lifetime.

What’s your most favorite ornament?

My favorite ornament is one that was painted from the inside. On it, is depicted a beautiful angel.

What’s your favorite holiday movie?

My favorite movie is It’s a Wonderful Life. I love the premise that we are all here for a wonderful purpose and that life would never be the same without each and every one of us. We all have a profound effect upon each other.

Favorite holiday story or book?

As a young child, my favorite story was The Night Before Christmas. I also love the Bible stories about the birth of Jesus.

What is the best present anyone could ever give to you?

The best present I could receive from anyone is their unconditional love.

Solid white lights or multicolored lights?

Magical multicolored lights, of course!

Favorite holiday song?

Joy to the World

What do you want Santa to bring you this year?

Another year with my loved ones.

Have you been a good little boy or girl or a naughty one?

I’ve been naughty and nice!

One last question, isn’t this fun? What does Christmas mean to you?

It means to me that every day is meant to be filled with the same joy as this favorite holiday for so many. We are born again every day and have the potential to become as perfect as the baby Jesus.

Great Gift Ideas for People that Need some "Laughter in Their Lives"

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Book # 1 of the Sister Mary Olga Series

Paperback Version - $13.95 and can be Purchased at Amazon .com HERE!!!
Kindle Version - $3.99 and be Purchased at Amazon.com HERE!!!!!

"Babes in Bucksnort"

 Book #2 of the Sister Mary Olga Book Series

Paperback Version is $13.95  is available at Amazon.com and can be purchased HERE!!!

Kindle Version is $3.99 at Amazon.com and can purchased HERE!!!!


Amazon.com is offering  you a discount if you purchase both books

"The Misadventure of Sister Mary Olga Fortititude" and "Babes in Bucksnort" together for the price of $ 27.90.

Happy Shopping!

Oh Yes, do not forget you can purchase Kindles as gifts and be sent to anyone that has an email!

Did you know that you do not have to own a Kindle Machine to read a book in Kindle Format"?

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

In Kindle Format for $3.99 Purchase Here!!!!!!

"Babes in Bucksnort"

In Kindle Format for $3.99 Purchase Here!

Well, it is true and so simple to load to any of  the various Amazon's Free Kindle Readers that they have available.
 You can load Amazon's Free Kindle Readers to any of the below progams RIGHT HERE!

• Iphone
• Windows PC
• MAC
• Blackberry
• iPad
• Android
• Windows Phone 7

WHAT AM I DOING NOW?

Author Davs Aujourd'hui
The life of an author is an interesting one. For the first four years I was writing my series, I pumped out one book after another. After the first two became published, I had another challenge on my hands. I had to market "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort". One of the primary ways I did this was to write these articles for my blogs. I wrote a series of articles about my books and facets of my personal life.

In between writing articles and doing interviews, I have had periods of inspiration when I have written other books. I have now completed eleven books in the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series. I have also written an e-book about my personal recovery on many fronts. Recently, I completed a reincarnational romance about a couple that travels through three lifetimes together.

I have also been hard at work editing my many books. This is not an easy chore. While the content has been excellent, it is so easy to make minor mistakes which are difficult to pick out. It's much better to have someone else do the editing.

I also devote a lot of time to personal healing. Following a lifetime filled with much despair and harmful behaviors, I have found help through therapy and twelve-step programs. This has taken me on a spiritual odyssey in which I have made many important self-discoveries which I freely share with my readers in my e-book, Putting the Pieces Together, and in my author blog.

My creativity and my spirituality have been my most important outlets. I interject many of my own spiritual awakenings in my books. It is my hope that it will help others who are on a spiritual journey.

I belong to a transdenominational church that embraces the sacred truths of all religions. Yet it is primarily based upon the teachings of Jesus. It is a church that practices affirmation and practical application of spiritual principles that are taught there.

I also am a student of the Course in Miracles. It is a course that was channeled by a psychologist who realized she was channeling correct teachings of Jesus. The basic premise is that we are on a journey to discover our spirits and to let go of our egos. In so doing, we will find our pathway back to peace, joy and love.

It is my desire to pass on the joy of laughter to you in my books. Perhaps you may also discover a piece of yourself in my characters. Just be gentle with yourself and prepare to laugh.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

UPCOMING MISADVENTURES

You've loved "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" and "Babes in Bucksnort". Perhaps you are wondering where I will take you next. Let me give you a taste. In my article, Looking Forward to More Sister Mary Olga, I tell you about the next book in the series, "Have A Heart." The action doesn't stop there. I have written a total of eleven books in the series.

The surprise that will come after "Have A Heart" is that I will take you on a journey back in time. That journey will begin when Sister Mary Olga is a girl of fifteen. You'll meet her ardently Baptist parents who will become shocked when Mary Olga decides to become a Catholic.

You'll meet the young Priscilla Bunhead and Martha Mayhem. You will learn how they became arch enemies when Priscilla stole Martha's boyfriend, Crabby Crandall. That happened after Martha was caught in a compromising situation with Crabby and was grounded by her parents.

The young Father Cowberries went by the name of Tiger. As a child, Martha was his very strict babysitter. Martha was very fond of applying a rubber spatula to Tiger's rear end whenever he acted up. Such was often the case.

One day, Tiger scored a real coup when he was walking through the Crandall apple orchard. He found Martha and Crabby engaged in behavior most unbecoming to a Baptist. There, in the midst of the orchard, the two teens were rolling in the clover with their clothes in a pile beside them.


Tiger realized he had a chance to get even with Martha. He stealthily approached the unsuspecting, copulating couple and he stole their clothes. The nude teens were no match for Tiger. Tiger raced off to the Mayhem home where he displayed Martha's panties to her horrified mother.


That was the day Martha became grounded. Soon thereafter, Crabby was looking for a new conquest. He thought he had found that in the buxom Priscilla Bunhead. Unfortunately or not for Crabby, he never had the chance to discover Priscilla's little secret. Her large bosom was a lie. Prissy paraded around pom-poms that were really just falsies.

She also was a prude. Crabby never got past first base with Prissy. Of course, Martha never knew that for sure, but she was sure to wreak her revenge upon Prissy when she got a chance. Martha was in her full glory on the night that she invited the neighborhood teen boys to Prissy's pool. That's when the boys encountered a very surprised Prissy in a most uncompromising situation. Frolicking nude in the pool, she was exposed as the flat-chested girl she really was.

You may remember this story from "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". You will learn many of the past secrets of the residents of Dinkledorf Drive as you dive into this first prequel. You will soon come to learn of Mother Carmen Burana's sordid past as a streetwalker. You will meet the workers at the Best Little Whorehouse on the Prairie. You will be treated to one tantalizing nugget after another that will keep you in stitches of laughter.


Spread the word about my first two books. Their success if paramount in order to bring you the next nine books in the series. In the meantime, I will keep on writing. I want to tickle every funny bone in your bodies.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"
Paperbook Edition $13.95  Purchase Here !!!!!
Kindle Edition $3.99 Purchase Here !!!!!!

"Babes in Bucksnort"
Paperback Edition $13.95 Purchase Here !!!!!!
Kindle Edition $3.99 Purchase Here !!!!!

"Babes in Bucksnort" Virtual Book Publicity Tour November 2011

Authors on Tour, Featured — By Dorothy Thompson

About "Babes in Bucksnort"


"Babes in Bucksnort" is the first sequel to the highly praised "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Once again the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun will spin outrageously funny new tales about the residents of Bucksnort, Wisconsin while she tests the will of a reformed prostitute who just happens to be her Reverend Mother.

Unfortunately there’s trouble brewing in the Snortlands. The nasty and notorious town busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, goes on a crusade to stamp out what she calls the gay menace. That’s when she convinces her millionaire friend, Mildred Mayflower, to give away her fortune in order to bring the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to town to do the job. It will be an uphill climb for them when the closet doors of many gay people in the Snortlands burst open. Billy-Bob and his wife, Pinky Poo, will have another battle on their hands when Dimples Dufus, the heiress to the Mayflower fortune, arrives on the scene to reclaim her fortune.

You’ll also meet the hilariously bumbling, pothead psychiatrist, Doctor Wally Wacky-Wacko, who creates havoc for one of Sister Mary Olga’s favorite fellow nuns. Along with Mildred Mayflower, they become victims of his multi-colored pills that only turn them into zombies. The handsome and virile gay cowboy chef, Randy Cowboy, makes an important self-discovery about his never-ending sexual pursuits when he joins a twelve-step program called Sex Maniacs Notorious.


The irascible Martha Mayhem settles down into comfortable domesticity with her new life partner who happens to be her sister-in law. Martha still manages to stir up trouble on Dinkledorf Drive with her fellow enemies and neighbors, the prudish Priscilla Bunhead and the voluptuous Lula Mae Bunsaplenty. The question that remains is whether Lula Mae’s paramour, Jules Jesslike Pappas will put up with her continuing manipulative feminine wiles.

In between the laughs, Sister Mary Olga continues to dispense nuggets of spiritual wisdom during her classes in Beginner’s and Advanced Holiness. Just don’t take seats near the flatulent child named Fartley Dinkledorf or his lecherous one-hundred five year-old grandfather, Poopsy. The bottom line is that everyone is welcome in Sister Mary Olga’s classes. Join the diverse cast of zany characters for a joy ride that will tickle your funny bone until it aches.

Interview with Sister Mary Olga from "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" by Davis Aujduvd’hui

The Plot
Posted by The Author in Character Interview on October 28, 2011

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available in Paperback Format for $13.95 and can be Purchased Here! Also is available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and can be Purchased Here!

Sister Mary Olga:

“Just wait one minute while I have a deliciously holy snort of bourbon and light up a Marlboro. Oh? What’s that?… I’m on the radio!… Goodness Gravy! Forgive me, my dears. This is Sister Mary Olga Fortitude coming to you. Now! I’ve heard that some of you are interested in hearing about my misadventures. That’s all well and good as long as you don’t spread any malicious gossip. After all, there’s nothing very holy about that!

Suffice it to say that life is happening in the sleepy little hamlet of Bucksnort, Wisconsin in just the same manner as everywhere else. It’s just that most of you tend to keep your untidy little secrets to yourself. Ahem! Excuse me for just a moment while I have another refreshing drink of what I prefer to call heavenly spirits. Ah! That’s much better!

Well! Thanks to a busybody named Priscilla Bunhead, nobody’s business in the Snortlands of Wisconsin remains their own for very long. Priscilla is the president of an organization called BUN. That stands for Bunheads Unite Now. Why, she’s recruited the most vulnerable female souls of Bucksnort who prefer to have someone else do their thinking for them. Just like Priscilla, her fellow bunheads all wear their hair in little buns at the back of their heads. This only serves to squeeze their little brains so tightly that they couldn’t think for themselves even if they wanted to.”

(Suddenly there is a shrill voice in the background.)

Priscilla Bunhead:

“Just wait one damn moment, you sanctimonious sister! We bunheads happen to practice human decency contrary to the likes of you and that former whore of your reverend mother, not to mention the perverts on Dinkledorf Drive. How would you like to live next to a half-Negro bastard like Jules Jesslike Pappas and his fat floozy, Lula Mae Bunsaplenty, while I have a couple of lesbos living on the other side of my unhappy home?

To make matters even worse, I think there’s a homo or two on the block! Then there’s that 105 year-old peeping Tom, Poopsy Dinkledorf, who lives across the street! The only comfort I have about this revolting situation is that I know they’re all going straight to hell when they die. In the meantime, I’ll get my satisfaction by doing everything in my power to make their lives as miserable as possible! Maybe that will convince them to get the hell out of Bucksnort!”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Ahem! (followed by a whisper to the audience) – Hang on folks while I just have another little snort to calm my nerves. – It seems to me that you could benefit from one of my classes in Advanced Holiness. After all, as the good book says, ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged.’”

Priscilla Bunhead:

“I’ll be damned if I’ll ever set my foot on the grounds of a Catholic convent! I happen to be a good Baptist so don’t think that you’re going to preach to me! After all, since you’re always siding with the perverts, you’ll also be going straight to hell. I just hope the readers of your books don’t get suckered in by your so-called lessons in holiness. As the saying goes, ‘Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing!’”


Sister Mary Olga:

“Now, now, my dear! Just be careful when you cast a judgment. After all, we’re all only looking into a mirror at ourselves whenever we do that.”


Priscilla Bunhead:

“Poppycock, Mary Olga! I’m just here to let your listeners know that, if they read your books, they’ll probably go straight to hell too. Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn! They’ll only have themselves to blame. At least I’ve done them the favor of warning them.”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Ahem! I’m sure you think you’re doing them a kindness. Perhaps it would be better if you let them judge that for themselves. After all, all of God’s children deserve a chance to have a good laugh and, (as Sister Mary Olga lets go of a belly laugh) God forgive me, you’ve just done that for me. Bless you, my dear.”


Priscilla Bunhead:

“You’d better wake up and smell the coffee before it’s too late! As for me, I’m getting the hell out of here because your homo cowboy chef is coming this way with a tray of cookies. If you know what’s good for you, I wouldn’t eat one of those. After all, you never know where his hands might have been!” (sound of running footsteps)

Sister Mary Olga:

“Sigh! Hi Randy!”


Randy Cowboy:

“Hey, Sister, who was that?”

Sister Mary Olga:

“Honey, you don’t want to know! When I used to believe in them, I might have called her a demon. Instead I realize she’s just a scared little girl. Now! Let’s change to a gayer note and let me have one of those cookies! They look scrumptious!”

MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

Are you a dreamer? If you are, that's a good thing. Do you want to realize your dreams? That requires action on your part.

What can you do? The most important thing is to remain in a consistent place of joy. From that place, abundance will manifest in your life. It cannot happen if you focus upon your discontent. You need to remain thankful for whatever is positive in your life.

That can be a challenge. If you are stuck and stay fixated on what is wrong in your life, you will not move forward. How can you do that? Realize that you are free to take a different path at any point. You need to claim your freedom.


If you keep doing the same thing and expect different results, you will keep spinning in circles. That's why it's important to try new things and break free of your past. History repeats itself.


Take a look at how you have always managed to get by. Perhaps you have been through difficult times. We all have. The point is that you survived and prevailed.


If you are in a difficult place at this point in time, see how you have managed to get through them before. Be grateful for that. Keep the faith that you will manage to do so again. Just don't be afraid to ask for help. None of us needs to do it alone.

One of the best remedies is to just talk about your troubles with a friend. Then you will be able to let them go, if only for awhile. Keep talking. The more you do so, the better you will be able to discharge whatever might be bothering you.


If you are a person who has found the pathway to freedom and joy, I don't need to tell you how to do it. The important thing is to share that joy with another so your own joy will be multiplied. Pass it on. That is the spiritual principle of the universe. The more you give, the more you will receive.

Dream those dreams and keep the faith. Just don't be surprised if your manifestation is even greater or different than you had envisioned. Life is a mystery, but there are some simple principles at work. You will attract whatever you put out at a thought level.

That is why it is so important to remain aware. Thoughts are powerful. What you need to do is to take charge of them. Think positive. It will only result in more of the same.

I have had many challenges in my life and have often had the experience of remaining stuck. The way I have broken free has been to take a new path. What I can now see is that it was my faith in myself that attracted my dreams.

Such has been the case with my series of novels. Once I began to write them, I realized I had many more ideas. I had faith they would keep on coming. That's how I managed to write nearly a dozen books in my Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series. The first two books are published. The next one is ready to go.


I encourage each of you to realize that the door is open if you but knock. Your desires will manifest if you but believe. Just remember to keep reaching for more moments of joy. That's the answer that will bring you your dreams. Dreams do come true.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Writer of The Sister Mary Olga Book Series!

SOMETHING GOOD YOUR WAY COMES

I am the author of a series of books, designed to tickle your funny bone. What could be more precious than the gift of laughter? This is what I offer to you, sprinkled with a dose of good loving.

My irreverent nun, Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, spins tales of the delightfully zany characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin. She does so while taking snorts of bourbon and sending smoke signals up to God from her trustworthy Marlboros. Sister Mary Olga is a character! So are the other personalities contained within my books.

You'll meet the Reverend Mother who is a reformed prostitute. You'll meet the gay cowboy chef who is a self-described sex maniac. You'll meet the town prude and busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, who is always looking for a dose of dirt to dish up. She finds plenty of that among the residents of Dinkledorf Drive.

Start your journey with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Then continue to laugh your pants off with "Babes in Bucksnort". My outrageous characters are meant to purely entertain, though you will encounter nuggets of wisdom along the way.

The characters are as diverse as all the colors of the rainbow. Their names are names you've never heard of before. There are Lula Mae Bunsaplenty and Jules Jesslike Pappas. There are Baby Burpee and Junior Rathbone. There are Lilliliver Lipstick and her timid husband, Abner Snatchasnitch. Their behaviors will keep you in stitches of laughter, though they might just illuminate you to your own behaviors that could use a tweak in a more positive direction.


Read the rave reviews on Amazon.com where you can also purchase the books. They are now available in both paperback and Kindle format. Buy them both and get free shipping and handling.

Just bring along your sense of humor and prepare yourself for non-stop laughs.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

About The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude

By Review From Here

Are you ready for a class in Advanced Holiness for people from all walks of life? Then, perhaps you’re ready to take a trip to the Have A Heart convent in Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There, you’ll meet a nun you’re not likely to forget – Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is a satire with a spiritual message, but there’s a lot of hanky panky going on here. Sister Mary Olga is an irreverent nun who has some unique spiritual views that differ from those of the Pope. She’s a great believer of “to each, one’s own.” She also loves her Marlboros and her bourbon. Just don’t let the Reverend Mother in on her secret. The next class in Advanced Holiness may be canceled.


Here in Bucksnort, you’ll meet a zany cast of all-too-human characters. There’s a lot of secret-keeping going on here, but Sister Mary Olga will be sure to deliver the goods in order to provide you with good and bad examples of holiness.

The Reverend Mother is a former prostitute. The convent’s chef is a gay cowboy. Priscilla Bunhead is the town busybody who opens some other closet doors. She, along with the other folks on Dinkledorf Drive, serve up examples of what not to do.


One thing’s for sure. These characters will lighten your load and help you to not take life so seriously. Get ready for non-stop laughs.

Purchase you Copy of "The Misadevntures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Paperbook for $13.95  - PURCHASE HERE

Kindle Format for $3.99 - PURCHASE HERE

EXCERPT FROM BABES IN BUCKSNORT

Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko had the unfortunate habit of not keeping good track of his appointments. He didn't have a secretary and the truth of the matter was that he couldn't very well afford one. He didn't exactly have a thriving practice.

Dr. Wally had just finished eating a very potent marijuana brownie for breakfast when the doorbell rang. He didn't have a clue as to who would be calling on him on his day off. He exclaimed out loud to himself, “Whoa! I'd better get my act together!” Then he went to answer the door.

When he opened the door, there before him stood Sister Eileen and Sister Samantha. His eyes bugged out from behind his gold-rimmed granny glasses when he saw them standing there in their black habits. That's when he exclaimed, “What a rush!”

Now! Sister Samantha was rather worldly from her former days, having lived in a gay man's world where she'd been a successful female impersonator. She knew exactly what Dr. Wally had been up to, but she chose to respond by saying, “Yes indeed! We need help immediately!”

The middle-aged man who still looked like a little boy had eyes as big as saucers. He was dressed in faded blue jeans and a fraying plaid flannel shirt. He simply stood before them in a confused daze. He grabbed onto his long, curly, salt and pepper hair that was tied back in a ponytail. For a moment he just stared at them as if he was going to say, “Duh.” Then he took a dizzying step backward as he said, “Ah yes! Won't you come in?”

They entered his home and they followed him into his office which looked as if it hadn't been dusted in two months. His desk was buried beneath piles of paper. The same was the case with a long black leather couch which lay beside a bookshelf that appeared as if it could topple over at any moment. If that would have become the case, it would have pulled down a network of cobwebs just before it would have soundly squished Sister Eileen if she was to have lain upon it.

Dr. Wally just stood in the middle of the room as if he was spellbound. Then he went to the couch and he unceremoniously swept the stacks of paper onto the floor. Finally he turned and gave them an impish smile as he said, “I'm not used to treating two people at the same time. I'm afraid that you'll just have to lie side by side.”

Now Sister Samantha wasn't one to mince words. She declared, “Are you out of your mind? Nuns aren't allowed to lie down together! God only knows where that could lead us! Besides, I'm not the one who needs help! I'll just sit in a chair.”

Then Sister Samantha strolled over to a nearby seat where she picked up a pile of papers. She set them down on the floor as a cloud of dust whirled out of that pile, nearly choking her in the process. As Sister Samantha took her seat, Sister Eileen tried to make her way over the disarray of papers beside the couch without falling. Then she lay down while the doctor sat behind his cluttered desk where he tried to peer at her over the piles of paper that were on it.

“So,” he began. “Just exactly what is the problem?”

Poor Sister Eileen couldn't even see the doctor so Sister Samantha decided to take the bull by the horns. She said, “Sister Eileen hasn't been herself lately. The poor woman can barely put a sentence together and, when she does, she only begins to cry.”

“Ah!” exclaimed the doctor. “I know exactly what to do!” With that said, he fumbled around within his desk drawer and he pulled out three bottles. Then he emptied the contents onto his desk whereupon half of the pills fell onto the floor. “Oops!” he said. Bending over, he picked up the pills one at a time. All the while, each and every one of those pills seemed to mesmerize him. Finally he was ready to continue. “Okay,” he said as he began to pile the pills into an empty bottle. “I want you to take each of these pills three times a day. You should be back to yourself in no time!”

“But doctor,” interjected Sister Samantha. “How's she going to be able to tell the pills apart if they're all in the same bottle?”

“Oh, that's easy,” replied the doctor who held up the bottle for Sister Samantha's inspection. “Each of the pills is a different color.” Then he smiled to himself as he continued to stare at the pills before he exclaimed, “Aren't they beautiful!” Sister Samantha simply rolled her eyes.

Now it was time to go. Poor Sister Eileen struggled to get off the couch while Sister Samantha reached for the bottle. As they made their way out of the shamble of the doctor's office, he opened another desk drawer. With a big smile of anticipation upon his face he pulled out another brownie. He'd need to calm his nerves in case another patient showed up later that day.

When the next evening rolled around, I wondered where Sister Eileen could have been. Randy Cowboy had already dished us up steaming bowls of stew and she was nowhere to be seen. Then I noticed the good sister staggering into the room. Her eyes looked like a couple of glazed donuts while she headed for her seat as if she was sleepwalking. I raised my eyebrows as she took her seat. She nearly fell right off it and onto the floor.

The blessing was offered and I began to eat, but I rarely took my eyes off Sister Eileen. She dumbly tried to raise each spoonful of stew into her mouth, but every second spoonful hit her chin where it dribbled down onto her habit. As I continued to watch, her eyes began to close. That's when I was about to witness the final effects of Dr. Wally's pills. Her head began to slowly circle and, just as she had completed the first full revolution, her face went kerplunk right into her steaming bowl.

I raced from my seat and I pulled her head out of the stew. She had a carrot firmly wedged into one of her nostrils and her mouth had a potato stuffed into it. Enough was enough! It was time for action and this time I would be the one who would accompany her to the good doctor.

The following day I arrived on Dr. Wally's doorstep with a blister-faced Sister Eileen. When the doctor finally answered the door, he took one look at Sister Eileen and he said, “Whoa!”

“Exactly!” I declared. “And the woe shall be unto you if you don't give this sister the right pill!”
“Oh!” he said with eyeballs that were nearly popping out of his head. “Maybe she would like a pretty pink pill. I call it a happy pill.”

I gave him a questioning look before I replied, “That's what we sent her here for the first time. Now just give us the pill and we'll be on our way!”

Well! It wasn't long before Sister Eileen would be swinging from the rafters. She soon announced that she was the Virgin Mary, come down from heaven in order to save the heathens. It was time to go back to Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko again. That's when Dr. Wally decided that poor Sister Eileen was a manic-depressive and he put her on yet another medication. Shrinkaholics! What would be next?


Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"Babes in Bucksnort" is available in Paperback for $13.95  and can be purchased here!!!
Also, available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and can be purchased here!!!!!