Baby Burpee is Diddle's Dinkledorf's great niece. She is a goddess of grand girth and she is going to get married in Babes in Bucksnort. It will turn out to be a blessed event with a unique twist.
Baby met her husband-to-be on the shores of the Mighty Mississippi. It was love at first sight. The one thing the two of them had in common was their passion for food. Junior Rathbone was even bigger than Baby. He tipped the scales at three hundred sixty-six pounds. Baby wasn't far behind in weight. Here's how the grand event began to play out. They were going to reenact the evening of their first meeting.
The evening of the big event had finally arrived. The guests lined up along the shore of the river to watch Baby promenade down to the river bank. Junior stood at the edge of the river. From there, he watched his beautiful and bountiful bride, with the long blond hair that looked like liquid silver, approach him on the arms of her Great-Uncle Diddles.
The guests were somewhat surprised when Diddles escorted Baby to a spot on the river away from Junior. What happened next was even more surprising. The bridesmaids began to help Baby take off her huge wedding gown that resembled a tent. The guests gasped as they watched the buxom bride standing before them in nothing but the mounds flesh which were her birthday suit.
Then Baby strolled out into the Mississippi where she took her plunge into the water. A spotlight followed Baby as she swam out into the river toward a swimming float where the preacher was standing. As the guests watched Baby doing the breast stroke, Junior began to take off his tuxedo which could have fit a grizzly bear.
The spotlight shifted to Junior who was now standing before them buck naked. The happy courtship of Baby and Junior had only served to add mounding layers of flesh to the already corpulent couple. Junior looked like a small whale as he stood on that shore of the river.
A drum roll began and Junior took his cue. With a running start, he began to pound the earth as he headed for the tree trunk that would guide his way into the water. He hit that trunk at a gallop and it quaked as he approached his take off. With one final and furious bounce that nearly submerged that tree trunk, Junior dove into those waters with a resounding splat.
The spotlight traced the waves that raced in both directions. Before Junior reemerged, those waves rocked the swimming float where the preacher was ready to perform the ceremony. They hit with such a force that the preacher nearly toppled right into the river. Baby didn't notice. Her eyes were brimming with tears of joy as Junior emerged from the river where he came to a rest against her billowing bosoms.
That was just the beginning of their hilarious wedding. Things only got more bizarre from this point. Read the ending in Babes in Bucksnort, a book in which your funny bone will be tickled from the beginning to the end. The diverse cast of zany characters will entertain you with their outrageous antics. Don't miss out on the fun!
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (Book 1)
"Babes in Bucksnort" (Book 2)
Great Gift Idea or Gift for Yourself if you are looking for giggle out loud books! Kindles are available for $3.99 each.