Saturday, April 17, 2010

HOW JULES JESSLIKE PAPPAS GOT HIS NAME

What's in a name? After all, every name has its own special meaning. It's just that for the characters in "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude", the meanings of their names tend to have a humorous tale. Sometimes the meaning of those names is obvious as in the case of Fartley Dinkledorf. He is a flatulent child who takes great and perverse pleasure in passing gas. Sometimes it's not so obvious as in the case of Jules Jesslike Pappas. Let me tell you the tale behind his name.

Jules' mother was a simple-minded woman who had a rather impulsive nature. I prefer to call her a free spirit, though some of the characters of Bucksnort, Wisconsin might be inclined to judge her. The prudish Priscilla Bunhead would be a case in point.

Irregardless, Mae I. Doomutch was a woman who embraced her sexuality. As a child Mae would always be asking the question, “May I do this or that?” As an adult, she would respond with a resounding “Yes!”

Mae was indeed doing much on the night of Jules' conception. She just happened to have relations with men of two different races on that evening. Nine months later, Mae gave birth to a little girl. She also gave birth to Jules. It's just that the girl popped out looking like creamy vanilla whereas Jules popped out with the complexion of milk chocolate.

When the nurse held up the little baby with the not-so-little member, Mae was reminded of his overly-endowed father. The nurse asked Mae, “What will you name him, dear?”

Mae took one look at the baby's gigantic jewels and exclaimed, “Jewels just like pappa's!” The nurse proceeded to record the baby's name on the birth certificate. That name read as Jules Jesslike Pappas.

Take a delightful and hilarious trip to Bucksnort and meet some of the other zany characters. You'll meet Fartley's grandfather, Diddles, and his great-grandfather, the one-hundred five year-old Poopsy Dinkledorf.

You'll arch your back when you meet the irascible Martha Mayhem. You'll pop your cork when Priscilla Bunhead starts her campaign called BUN which stands for Bunheads Unite Now. It is basically an organization for ladies against women. Priscilla gets into unending altercations with Martha and her other neighbor, the voluptuous and sensual Lula Mae Bunsaplenty.

The good news about the characters of Bucksnort is that they will continue to have ongoing misadventures. This book is just the first in a series of social and religious satires. The first sequel, Babes in Bucksnort, is due out later this spring.

In the meantime, check out the rave reviews on "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude on Amazon.com." While there, do yourself and your friends a favor. Buy a copy of the book for an endless series of laughs and pass the joy around. Then keep coming back to this blog to find out when other misadventures will be about to appear. I promise to provide you with a decade or more of belly laughs.

A RAY OF HOPE

When we are worried or down and out, we all need hope. Without it, life has no joy or meaning. The question is how to keep hope alive. When we can do that, we remain in a place of faith that all is and will be well.

Yet sometimes we need help in order to remember this. That is where the wisdom of sages and people with a spiritual bent come in handy. I can offer that to you with a dose of humor that will keep you in touch with your joy.

My series of religious satires is filled with hilarious scenarios that will keep you laughing in stitches. Although they are irreverent, they also contain an uplifting message of hope and nuggets of spiritual wisdom which are dispensed by a naughty nun who has come to some understanding of what it is to lead a spiritual life.

Let me introduce you to that bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun in my book, "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". The book has received rave reviews on Amazon.com where it is available. Sister Mary Olga will soon be returning in the first sequel, entitled Babes in Bucksnort.

You'll meet her arch nemesis, the Reverend Mother Carmen Burana, who is a former prostitute and a bit of a prude. She is nothing compared to the notoriously nasty Priscilla Bunhead! Priscilla is always digging in the dirt as she gossips about the lives of people who aren't what she would consider to be normal.

Sister Mary Olga says, “Who wants to be normal anyway?” After all, we are all God's children and He made us diversely unique for a purpose. Isn't that what makes life interesting?

You'll meet the irascible Martha Mayhem who is one of the few who will stand up to the hateful Priscilla Bunhead. You'll meet the self-described sex maniac who just happens to be a gay cowboy and the chef at the Have A Heart Convent. Just be prepared for the upcoming Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. Nothing and no one is sacred as far as he is concerned.

Along with the other deliciously dysfunctional characters on Dinkledorf Drive in the sleepy little hamlet of Bucksnort, Wisconsin, you will be in for a joy ride that will keep you wanting for more. Many of my readers have said about the first book, “I didn't want it to end! I can't wait for the next book!”

The good news is that you won't have to wait long. Babes in Bucksnort will be available sometime during May. In the meantime, take a hilarious trip to Bucksnort in "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". You might just find some wisdom during her classes in Advanced Holiness that will speak to your own questions about the meaning of life. You might just find that ray of hope that will bring you back into the light of a new day.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Sister Mary Olga Fortitude Hits a Home Run for Bucksnort

It’s difficult to imagine what the sleepy little town of Bucksnort would be like without its lovable ringleader Sister Mary Olga. It is definitely more true than the saying that she’s the glue that holds everything and everyone together, or rather, she is the zany paste that weaves the story and brings it directly to you.

Sister Mary Olga was created as an unshakable character to entertain a coworker and to creatively pass the time at work, but she managed to interlace her way into my heart and into the lives of the residents of Bucksnort. She tells it like it is, but is the first to tell you that she’s not perfect, especially in a less than perfect world. She’ll remind you that tolerance and understanding is the key to being human and to achieving happiness. Ah yes, we cannot forget that laughter is in indeed the best medicine.

This lively tale isn’t just about “real life” situations and human problems told in a very entertaining manner, but there are many silly and entertaining antics among the townspeople. Life is never boring or predictable in Bucksnort. It’s a daily occurrence of unrest, heartache, bellies full of laughter bubbling over with joy, kindness, and hope that bring together a diverse community that’s filled with so many differences.

Sister Mary Olga tells you a harrowing tale full of infectious giggles and uproarious laughter in The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude. Why do you think that she feels that she’s hit a home run? That’s easy. Every day she learns something new about herself and has the opportunity to help someone through some turmoil in their own lives. It’s just like a rush of that incredible feeling you get when the baseball bat cracks the ball over the fence that leads to a home run. It’s the continuing sensation of emotions surging through your body as the wind slaps your face and your legs effortlessly carry you around all bases. Sister Mary Olga feels that exhilaration on a regular basis and wants to share it with you.

So what are you waiting for? You can buy your front row ticket for the hilarious journey with "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" today.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Confession is Good for the Soul & Funny Bone


In my new novel, The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, Sister Mary Olga talks about the importance of confession as well as acceptance and forgiveness. These are strong emotions and shouldn’t be entered into lightly.

With that being said, nobody is perfect. Sister Mary Olga would be the first to tell you this because she has a just few vices of her own with a snort of Bourbon and a full puff from a Marlboro every once in a while. She lovingly teaches morals to live by not only her class in Advanced Holiness, but educates readers to learn and apply the valuable lessons of life, along with plenty of humor in between of course.

Everyone should bring more humor and laughter into life. You can release your soul with confession, but never forget to smile in the process.

Want to start having more fun?

1. Smile. Smile at strangers. Smile as you drive to work. Smile when you’re doing household chores. Smile when you’re talking on the phone. Smile more in conversation with others.

2. As Sister Mary Olga would tell you, “Count your blessings”. Consider all the wonderful things in your life and bring more laughter to your family and friends. It will come back to you ten-fold guaranteed.

3. Spend time with other fun, playful people. What a great way to share the feelings of humor?

4. Bring more humor to conversations. Talk about a funny book you’ve just read, like The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude. You can then tell some of the zany antidotes straight from Bucksnort.

5. When you hear laughter, move toward it. It is absolutely contagious. Catch it, release it, and share it. Don’t forget to catch it again when it comes back around.

Create more opportunities to laugh. Develop your sense of humor more and be sure to take yourself less seriously. Laugh. Smile. Laugh and smile right now as you read this. It will transform your life in so many positive ways. I promise you.

What’s the funniest story you’ve heard today?

I hope that you take the opportunity to check out The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude and get an extra dose of laughter today

Monday, April 12, 2010

KISS YOUR TROUBLES AWAY

How often in life, do you become consumed by your troubles as you worry about what the future may bring? Many times, even the smallest of problems seem even more exasperating than the big ones. The good news is that there's an answer to dealing with them. It's all a matter of staying present to the moment and leaving the future to the benevolence of the Universe.

I have usually found it useful to shift my focus. This usually involves taking some kind of action such as going for a walk or reading a good book. Helping out someone else with their own problems is an excellent way of getting out of your own troubles. Simply kiss them away.

If you like to laugh, I can offer you a solution. My series of hilarious satires is guaranteed to keep you laughing in stitches until the end. "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" within the next month.

Transport yourself to the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin where you'll meet the zany characters on Dinkledorf Drive. You'll meet the nasty town gossip and back stabber, Priscilla Bunhead, who is always digging in the dirt in order to make life miserable for her neighbors.

Just wait until she gets into another fight with Martha Mayhem. Martha has always got her scissors ready to get some revenge upon her arch nemesis who wears a tight little bun on top of her head. She'll simply snip it off.

Watch out for the dirty old man, one hundred-five year-old Poopsy Dinkledorf, who has the annoying habit of peering into people's windows. When he spies upon the voluptuous and haughty Lula Mae Bunsaplenty, he will meet his match.

If you happen to take one of Sister Mary Olga's classes in Advanced Holiness, don't take a seat next to Poopsy's great grandson, Fartley. The little lad lives up to his name. He takes perverse pleasure in passing gas. Eventually a classmate will play a trick upon him that will cure him of that.

Speaking of Sister Mary Olga, she has her own way of dealing with life's problems. She simply lights up a Marlboro and sends up a smoke-signaling prayer to God. She also washes away her cotton mouth with some healthy swigs of bourbon.

This inevitably gets her into trouble with her Reverend Mother. Even though Mother Carmen has dealt with overcoming her past as a prostitute, she is not very open-minded about helping Sister Mary Olga out with her own problems.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if every problem you have can be handled in such a light-hearted manner!

The good news is that every problem has a solution and usually there are many.

In the meantime, how about giving yourself a break and taking a trip to Bucksnort. You won't regret it.

Humor helps to not take life so seriously!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Joy Brings About Relaxation & Spiritual Balance

Joy is something that we all need more of in our lives. It can be a small encounter that truly brings you joy in life. It can come in the form of a leisurely walk through a serene park or a walk along a deserted beach. It can be when your child takes their very first steps. Joy can come in all types of wonderful packages.

Step back and take a moment to enjoy everything life has to offer. Take a deep breath and really take a good look around you. Discover again the colors, textures, surroundings, people, and places in a way that you’ve taken it for granted in the past. You might notice something that you haven’t seen before. Your body and spirit work together and are inspired by joy and happiness. Give it what it needs, inspire your life with joy today.

I love some of the definitions of joy that have been expressed. It’s the passion or emotion excited by the expectation of something good. It’s further ignited by pleasurable feelings or emotions caused by success, good fortune, and the prospect of possessing something we love or desire. My favorite expression of joy is the exhilaration of spirits. What a perfect description of joy to take with you every day.

It may seem simple and most people know how important it is to take care of your body, but sometimes we just need to be gently reminded along our daily journey. Proper nutrition, plenty of sleep, frequent breaks throughout the day, and regular exercise feed your body, which in turn promotes relaxation and spiritual balance.

Your spirit is a little more complicated to keep at peace and must be encouraged by tranquility. You can start by feeding your muse. Give it what it needs no matter what profession you are currently involved in at the moment. It could be anything that is artistic such as photography, music, journaling, or any other creative outlet. Don’t get overwhelmed with day-to-day routines. It’s okay to just say “no” once in a while. Reward yourself for accomplishments! Don’t wait until a big project is completed. Give yourself small rewards along the way. Branch out with social engagements and share all the wonderful joys of life with others.

Take care of your body and spirit and it will reward you with relaxation and spiritual balance!

Author Davis Aujourd' Hui

Book: The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude

Saturday, April 10, 2010

PRISCILLA BUNHEAD'S SECRET EXPOSED


The nasty, prudish Priscilla Bunhead from "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" who is always judging people by outside appearances had her own secret past. You see, she was a fraud. Priscilla wasn't blessed with an ample bosom and she was ashamed. This led her to masquerade by stuffing her bra with tissue paper so that she would appear to be the voluptuous young woman she was not.

Unfortunately for Priscilla, she had a habit of making enemies out of people. When it came to her relationship with the irascible Martha Mayhem, she made a big mistake. While Martha was grounded after engaging in behavior unbecoming to a Baptist with her boyfriend Crabby Crandall, Priscilla stole Crabby away from her. That's when Martha decided it was time to get revenge.

Martha happened to know about Priscilla's private pleasures. Priscilla's family was the only one on Dinkledorf Drive to own a swimming pool. It also had a Jacuzzi with delightfully pulsating jets. Every dark night during the summer, Priscilla could be found perfectly positioned under those jets where she pulsated to a rhythm that rocked her world.

One moonlit night, Martha invited the teenage boys of Bucksnort to Prissy's pool for a private show. All the of boys were anxious to feast their eyes upon the big boobies that Priscilla didn't possess. As Priscilla was in the throes of ecstasy, the boys were breathlessly waiting in the bushes around the pool. Meanwhile, Martha stole around the side of the house where she threw on the spotlight to illuminate the poolside show.

The boys let out a shout of disappointment when they realized that Prissy's pom poms were nothing more than pegs. That's when Priscilla let out a scream that could be heard all the way to the convent. Like the drowned rat that she was, she went running off into the night in order to hide her secret shame. Unfortunately for Priscilla, that was also the end of her relationship with Crabby Crandall.

Martha had her sweet revenge. What made it even sweeter was that Priscilla was never courted by another. Her fate was to grow up to become a sourpuss of an old maid.

This is just one of the many hilarious tales contained within Misadventures. If you're looking for a bellyful of laughs, click on the link to Amazon.com so that you can obtain your own copy. In the meantime, remember that outside appearances aren't always what they seem.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Give Something Back and Share in the Precious Rewards

Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.”
Mother Teresa

There were approximately 60 million people last year that performed various duties of volunteer work. It was generally in the form of coaching, teaching, fund raising, serving food, providing information, and labor duties. The average person who volunteers is between the ages of 35 and 55. Interestingly, volunteer work can be traced back to the country’s early settlers.

There are many reasons why a person volunteers to help others, but there seems to be a need to reach outside ourselves for the benefit of another. It can be described that the ability to help others is the sense of continuity that we share with one another – being human.

The wonderful part of helping others is that it can actually benefit our overall sense of well-being. It has been discovered that focusing on others and helping the community can actually reduce depression and alleviate chronic pain in ourselves. I can’t think of a better prescription for self healing and personal empowerment than to help another person.
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Ghandi
Everyone needs to feel connected and to have a purpose in this precious life. By volunteering your time, you can experience what it is to feel connected to humanity. The world is a wonderful place filled with amazing people. Experience what it has to offer. It can life your spirit, breathe new life into your soul, and give something back to the community. Everyone wins from the simple task of volunteering.

There is a positive, almost magical, effect when people help others. A perfect example is when there’s a disaster. What is truly inspirational is what happens during the aftermath. It unites people together and brings out the best in humanity. A tried and true sentiment is that the best way to heal hurt and grief is to help someone else heal theirs.

Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.”
Norman B. Rice

Friday, April 2, 2010

"Sister Mary Olga on the Radio"

Part of the fun of being an author is promoting my book. A lot of that has been hard work, but there's nothing like getting to talk about my stories that is more fun than writing them. This week, I had the opportunity to host a radio show about Misadventures with a few of my fans and fellow authors. We had a blast!

It's a good thing that I'm a ham and can be spontaneous. With the give and take of questions, one always needs to be prepared to give an extemporaneous answer so that it doesn't sound like a canned spiel. I'm passionate about my books and I have no problem telling the stories within the tales or those connected behind the scenes.

Each of those stories is filled with outrageous humor that is guaranteed to keep its readers laughing until their sides hurt; that is, if they have an open mind. Sister Mary Olga is a naughty nun and so are many of the zany characters who live on Dinkledorf Drive in the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin.

One of my guests happened to have a personal connection to the image used for Sister Mary Olga on the cover of my book. That was the KISS-FM radio personality out of Dallas, Texas, named Rob Anthony. He told the story which belonged to a woman near and dear to him.

A couple of years before
Misadventures was published, I asked Rob's mother, Janice Reilly, to pose for the cover in a nun's habit. Like Sister Mary Olga, she was a wise and crusty soul who also had a passion for her Marlboros.

She gleefully told me, “Sure, Davis, I'll do it for you!”

She so much related to the character of Sister Mary Olga that she would call me daily to ask me “what she was doing” as I continued to write my books. I would read her my day's writing and she would laugh out loud in her inimitable full-throated laugh.

Unfortunately, Rob's mother passed away before that picture could be taken. As she lay on her deathbed, I told her, “Jan, I'm going to get you on that cover one way or another!”

Thanks to the marvelous illustrator for the cover, we were able to accomplish that. He used one of my favorite pictures of her and crafted a nun's habit around it. He also placed a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and had her holding a bottle of bourbon behind her back. Janice would have been pleased!

That story was told as well as my story of how I created the characters. When I had been a social worker, I used to entertain a colleague and friend of mine using my gift of humor. I would call up her voice mail and leave spontaneous scenarios of my cast of characters from Bucksnort as I did impressions of each of them. My friend would burst into peals of cascading laughter whenever she listened to her voice mail at work on the following day. That eventually inspired me to write the series of books which I have written.

In the meantime, check out the rave reviews of The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude on
Amazon.com in which ecstatic readers have said they can't wait for the next book to be published. They won't have to wait long. The first sequel, Babes in Bucksnort, will be published within the next few months.

In the meantime, feel free to check out my radio show entitled
The Funniest Satire Series of the Decade. Just click on the link below and scroll down to the show's title. Then click on “stream” which was posted on March 17, 2010.

Here's the link:
http://www.globaltalkradio.com/shows/publicaccessradio

Enjoy!